Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 08:12 am
I need some help. My husband has a hard time
With my past. He was also my friend before we officially got together so he knows a lot about me. I had made some mistakes in my past but I have forgiven myself already. I have moved on from my mistakes. He has called me names before and has totured me about things I have done. He says how he thinks I don't do things with him that I did with people in my past. Which he has no clue details of what I have done with people. Some of the people I have been with in the past still is around the same group of people I hang out with sometimes he wants to fight those people because all he can do is picture it. I guess I understand not wanting to run into those people but he was married when I was with some of these people so he had his own life and now he wants to throw it in my face because he was like a best friend to me and I woold tell him my crazy stories sometimes. We always had a thing for each other but he choose
Someone else and played with my feelings a few times. His marriage did not work out and we reconnected and everything was great. We been together for total of 2 years married within one year. I love him a lot and I always have so I felt like sometimes you have to wait and things will come to to you. I just don't know how to handle this situation. He said finally he admits he is angry with me because he remembers my past and has to work on how to deal with it. I don't believe in divorce but I feel like I have cried so much these days because he wants me to keep feeling bad with him.
Last night was a huge and I told him he has made
Feel so hateful towards him because he is suppose
To accept everything about me and instead he continues to remindme of all my mistakes and how much he hates everything I did. How do we work throug this? He said he is willing to go to therapy and wants me
To go to support him but i feel like I will be dragged into talking about my mistakes again I have already went through that on my own. He is not perfect either and has been caught talking to another girl during our relationship. He swears it was nothing and he did nothing and I believe him
On that but that hurt me and I bring it up sown times which I know is wrong too. Help!!
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 736 • Replies: 6
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CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 10:13 am
@Dmendiola,
Quote:
He said he is willing to go to therapy and wants me
To go
Schedule it quickly and go with him because the two of you need help. Him on how to move past dwelling on your past, and you on how to deal with him if he cannot. Therapist may well want to have a few sessions with him alone, but for the first one you both need to go so the therapist can get a complete idea of what is going on.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 01:09 pm
@Dmendiola,
I agree with Coastal - get into couples therapy ASAP.

This guy has issues - jealousy, anger, resentment, distorted thinking, double standard, etc.

He's got all the beginnings of being a verbal abuser too.

One year is not a long time. You can get clear of this if you need to.

Good luck.
Dmendiola
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 01:58 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thanks
0 Replies
 
Dmendiola
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 01:59 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thanks for advice!
0 Replies
 
Dmendiola
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 01:59 pm
@CoastalRat,
Thanks so much!
0 Replies
 
Germlat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 03:55 pm
@Dmendiola,
You didn't commit any of this acts while married to him!! So he wants the "bad girl" and wants to punish her for it! He'll no!! Give yourself a break. Give him an ultimatum...stand your ground. Don't punish yourself for your past. Go to therapy with him, if you so desire. At this point he's the one who needs help.
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