Sun 9 Mar, 2014 11:51 am
So I met this girl on 2/28 and we had a really good conversation, we added each other on Facebook and she even asked my no. first (on facebook). During that weekend, I missed her so much and it turns out she also likes me. I could tell she really likes me, and she is very eager about this relationship and wants to see where time can take us. I do like her but I want to slow things down and know more about her first, but she started to ask me about my feelings about her and eventually I have no room to avoid that question, and said I like her. She then asked me what I mean I like her, I said I think I fell in love with you, she then asked what do you mean I fell in love with her, kinda like her? She got her answer.
Her ex cheated on her and and she think I'm a very faithful and honest person(I am). I'm six years older and she is only a month shy of turning 18. I asked about her weekly schedule, she has school and has to work and has yoga class on saturday, so she is only available on Sunday and on 3/2, I decided to ask her out on 3/9, which is today.
Yesterday afternoon, I asked her to decide when do we meet today cuz I feel like she has something to do first, I don't want to get her caught up. And it turns out I am right bc she has to help with her mom with something first.
She is not responding to my txt since 7 last night and I had a very bad sleep. Cuz this is not normal and my last txt was at 3:00 am telling her I can't sleep cuz she was missing. I woke up this morning and saw her message sent early this morning, she says she was with her friends (I don't know her friends yet), after a shower, I txted her back to ask if she has decided the time for us to meet and I also feel like she couldn't come today cuz it's already 11:00 am. so i also said if she can't make it, let me know. and she responded she couldn't make it cuz it's her best friend's (who is a boy) birthday (it is true). She lost track of things and totally forgot her best friend's birthday. After I met her, I also lost track of things, I was waiting for her txt all the time and forgot to do something important on Saturday morning.
She said this won't happen anymore and hope we can see each other next week. I decided to trust her but I have a much lower expectation she will make it next week.
She said she left her phone home charging last night and she was with her friends. I didn't ask but I think she didn't sleep at home last night.
Based on all the facts, what should I do?
@ig0tu,
You've told a girl that you haven't dated yet that you love her?
Seems like you're both talking about being in a relationship when you're not even dating.
Step back. Tell her you'd like to go out for coffee/tea/whatever. Ask her to let you know when she'll be available for an afternoon sometime.
Then move on with your life. Have coffee/tea with other girls.
Relax.
@ig0tu,
awww....first date it's so cute...
@ehBeth,
I tried, but she keeps texting me and expects me to text her all the time. And today, she started to ask me about if I am a virgin. I heard she is Catholic but not sure. I asked why she cared about if I am a virgin and she said that's a topic should be talked about when two people are getting to know each other.
@ossobuco,
but I really think we like each other, I think I'll give her another chance, if she fails me, then I will friend zone her.
You met her on Feb 22 and now two weeks later you're jealous? And for no reason? You need to move on.
She sounds like she's aged about 12.
@ig0tu,
You should not come on too quickly with a girl that age. It is almost always a recipe for a breakup. Tell her this and suggest that things slow down.
Keep us informed. This is like the soap opera: "As the Stomach Turns."
@ig0tu,
You haven't been on a date and she is asking you if you are a virgin?
That is really inappropriate.
Get away from her. Find a sensible woman to have coffee with. Work your way toward a date.
Get away from this crazy girl.
@ehBeth,
I don't know, she doesn't look like a crazy girl, she is kinda shy, but that question did shock me. I didn't answer her question though, I said I'll tell her when we are really close . I think the good thing is I do feel better now after reading all of your replies, I realize it's important for me to control the pace and move on with my life and hold a wait-and-see attitude. And thank you Beth, you reminded me I should also be cautious with this girl cuz she seems to have a problem to keep her promise.
@contrex,
I do have the same feeling that she is not mature enough.
First, she can't keep her promise, no matter what reason she gives, she didn't make it to the first date which she promised.
Second, I don't know what she is thinking. If she already knew she couldn't make it, it seems she was not planning to tell me she was not coming. I DON'T GET THIS, HOW COULD A REASONABLE PERSON BEHAVE LIKE THIS!!!!
Third, if you have the same experience, waiting for the text of someone you care about is a painful experience. She left her phone charging at home and went to be her friends without telling me in the middle of texting. I even called her cuz I worried something might happen to her. Wasted tons of my time. Actually, I can't sleep until 3am.
@ig0tu,
She is still a teenager and probably not ready for a relationship with an adult.
I think there are much more normal women out in the world for you to meet.
@ehBeth,
Yeah, I know, but I do have a problem with that, my ex, who is only one month older than me, keeps saying I am childish. I feel like I am too young for girls at my age. And there are also other girls around me, I just don't have any special feeling. There is also another girl, who is very beautiful, when I say beautiful, I mean beautiful, we are very close but I just don't have any special feeling about her. Btw, she is one year older than me. I do want to have sex with her, but I don't think I will love her. But that's not ethical, so I won't mess up with her.
@ig0tu,
You are young. You don't necessarily have to be in a partnered relationship at this point. Meet women, have tea/coffee/a drink with them. Get to know a few of them. You don't HAVE to date one person at a time.
Yeah, I told her to tell me her availability of this coming Sunday on Saturday night, if she cares in any sense, she will tell me she will come, otherwise, guess that's it.
Btw, is standing someone up a common phenomenon in daily life or personal relationships? Or it's just I asked her out too early (that's a week before the actual time).
I am a business graduate student, both in work and study, keeping my promise is crucial. In a business and professional context, If someones can't keep her/his promise, I guess I will never trust him/her and never want to deal with that person any more.
@ig0tu,
ig0tu wrote:
but I really think we like each other, I think I'll give her another chance, if she fails me, then I will friend zone her.
You do realize that this whole setup is the typical backstory to many people arrested and thrown in jail for statutory rape. She claims she's almost 18. You meet up and become intimate. It turns out she's not even 16. There you will have your own legalistic version of the Darwin Awards.
Do what Osso said. Walk away. She sounds too immature for someone your age.
@ig0tu,
ig0tu wrote:
I don't know, she doesn't look like a crazy girl...
You said you haven't even met her. Can you be sure the photos she allegedly sent of herself is actually her photos? And even if they are... what does a crazy girl supposedly look like? You can't make that assessment on the little interaction you had texting with her and that of Facebook.
Quote:I DON'T GET THIS, HOW COULD A REASONABLE PERSON BEHAVE LIKE THIS!!!!
Because you actually asked this question regarding a teenager....
By definition, most teenagers aren't emotionally mature enough to be considered reasonable and rational.
So what should I tell her? I can't just tell her she is immature.
I feel unsure about her again. She had two relationships last year, one started from January and the second started from July, this January she became Single. Generally, it's not appropriate to get into another relationship that fast.
It took me more than a year to let go my ex.
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