Help! I'm a Troll and stuck under a bridge!

If you get the cattle prod out of your ass, I suspect you will be a little less uncomfortable.

Owww!

Flat-lined another thread.

I don't know Edgar, I feel much better going sans cattle prod. I think you provided much needed advice,.

Guess you are the ugly troll under the bridge

Once upon a time there were three billy goats, who were to go up to the hillside to make themselves fat, and the name of all three was "Gruff."
On the way up was a bridge over a cascading stream they had to cross; and under the bridge lived a great ugly troll , with eyes as big as saucers, and a nose as long as a poker.
So first of all came the youngest Billy Goat Gruff to cross the bridge.
"Trip, trap, trip, trap! " went the bridge.
"Who's that tripping over my bridge?" roared the troll .
"Oh, it is only I, the tiniest Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat," said the billy goat, with such a small voice.
"Now, I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll.
"Oh, no! pray don't take me. I'm too little, that I am," said the billy goat. "Wait a bit till the second Billy Goat Gruff comes. He's much bigger."
"Well, be off with you," said the troll.
A little while after came the second Billy Goat Gruff to cross the bridge.
Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap, went the bridge.
"Who's that tripping over my bridge?" roared the troll.
"Oh, it's the second Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat," said the billy goat, who hadn't such a small voice.
"Now I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll.
"Oh, no! Don't take me. Wait a little till the big Billy Goat Gruff comes. He's much bigger."
"Very well! Be off with you," said the troll.
But just then up came the big Billy Goat Gruff .
Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap! went the bridge, for the billy goat was so heavy that the bridge creaked and groaned under him.
"Who's that tramping over my bridge?" roared the troll.
"It's I! The big Billy Goat Gruff ," said the billy goat, who had an ugly hoarse voice of his own.
"Now I 'm coming to gobble you up," roared the troll.
Well, come along! I've got two spears,
And I'll poke your eyeballs out at your ears;
I've got besides two curling-stones,
And I'll crush you to bits, body and bones.
That was what the big billy goat said. And then he flew at the troll, and poked his eyes out with his horns, and crushed him to bits, body and bones, and tossed him out into the cascade, and after that he went up to the hillside. There the billy goats got so fat they were scarcely able to walk home again. And if the fat hasn't fallen off them, why, they're still fat; and so,

Snip, snap, snout.
This tale's told out.

I lolled

LOL is an abbreviation for “laughing out loud”, “laugh out loud”, or sometimes “lots of laughs”. Depending on one’s opinion and manners of usage, its longhand interpretation may slightly vary from one to another. However, “Laughing out Loud” is the most common definition of the term

Mares eat oats and does eat oats,
And little lambs eat ivy.
A kid'll eat ivy too.

Wouldn't you?

LIVE WITH IT, Neo!

Most of the ivy I remember from Jersey gives you a rash
Probably under this bridge, too
Yikes!

Ahhh...but the bridge may be an illusion...and the ivy also. But the itch is sill gonna be a bitch!

Itchigo ergo sum?

And "Troll 2" isn't about trolls! Go figure!

I don't know if you can be helped, but stay in after dawn. You will turn to stone if touched by the sun's rays. Of course, you'd then be a really cool statue and probably end up in an art gallery.

and how could we forget......