5
   

Who should I choose?

 
 
Onarey
 
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 10:23 pm
Are dating questions allowed here? If so..
I'm stuck choosing between two girls I like a lot. I'll describe both..
1. The first one is absolutely beautiful. She has a great personality and I think she likes me. But, she's had an extreme amount of boyfriends (she dates the same 3 or 4 boys over and over). But she is pretty much the girl I've been looking for all my life.
2. The second one is very down-to-earth. She likes to talk to me. She listens to my problems and helps me with them. She is the nicest girl I've ever met. She's never had a boyfriend. She understands me and we are alike in many ways. She laughs at a lot I say and we text often.
I've known both of these girls for a long time. I like both of them a lot - and I'm not sure which one to choose. I'm pretty sure both of them like me, too.
Help!?
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,051 • Replies: 13
No top replies

 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 10:33 pm
@Onarey,
Welcome to A2K. Certainly, feel free to ask questions as you see fit. While many of us are not relationship experts, many of us have had lots of life experience from which you might benefit.

Believe it or not, your parents might also be able to help answer some of these questions, too. After all they've known you all your life. However, I recognize that sometimes it's just too hard to ask parents this stuff.

#1 is a fantasy girl. Deal with reality by asking her out if you can keep your mind from racing ahead of yourself. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you are a teenager or under age 20? Allow yourself a healthy fantasy, but do you really want to be boyfriend #4 or #5?

#2 is already interested in you and vice versa. You've a real rapport with her.
So ask her out and see where it goes. If you find you still fantasize about girl #1, ask her out, too

Just why is it you think the asking both girls out might be mutually exclusive?
Onarey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 10:45 pm
@Ragman,
To clarify I am a teenager.
And I wouldn't be boyfriend #4 or 5. I'd be somewhere near 20.. She dates the same guys over and over.
Telamon
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 10:50 pm
@Onarey,
Based solely on the information available above, I’m going to say the second. Not that you should be really listening to some random stranger on a random forum you found yesterday. Me being someone with virtually no insight on this particular matter at all, seeing how I don’t personally know any of you. The only reason I came to my conclusion is due to the fact that for the first girl you explained her as “absolutely beautiful” and has an “excellent personality”. While the second you go into authentic details and have a firm history with, according to your elucidation.

As for the line “But she is pretty much the girl I've been looking for all my life” (the first girl). I find that hard to believe due mostly to the fact that most people have no Idea what they want. And if they think they do, they’re usually wrong or quickly have a change of heart. When it comes down to it, all that matters is what you want to do, not some random nobody online (aka me). It’s your life, go out there make your decisions (for better or worse), live with few regrets (and there will be some), and enjoy what you can when you can. At least that’s my, well maybe not so much as humble but honest, advice is.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 10:53 pm
@Onarey,
Quote:
But, she's had an extreme amount of boyfriends (she dates the same 3 or 4 boys over and over).


So by your own words, you'd be boyfriend #4 or #5. What am I missing here?
Onarey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 10:58 pm
@Ragman,
Right.. I worded what you said wrong. My bad.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 06:42 am
@Onarey,
You should read your own descriptions here:

1) beautiful, good personality
2) likes to talk to me, listens to me, helps me, nicest ever met, understands me, laughs a lot with me.

Without the hormonal influence, isn't this a no-brainer? The first girl is a dream girl. You think she likes you because she has a great personality, probably treats everyone well and can melt you with her beauty. You actually have a real relationship with the second girl. Just read your own description. Unless there is something about girl two you are not telling us (like you are completely unattracted to her physically), this seems like a no brainer.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 06:44 am
@Onarey,
You're going to be dating, not picking a life partner.

Ask both of them out.
0 Replies
 
spidergal
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 07:47 am
You could ask both of them out, if you're fine with multiple dates - and if they're okay with that idea.

Ideally, I'd ask the first girl out, so just in case it doesn't work out, I'd be free to move on, and get things going with the second one.

One problem I see with dating both of them together is, what if you end up falling for both of them - and they like you back, too. That would get messy.
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 07:57 am
@Onarey,
Beth and Spidey have got it. This aint a game show with a clock ticking. Take your time, it seems they are. FF sake you're a teenager - I'm impressed that you can see positives in both without mindlessly obsessing about one.

The other thing I'd mention as a male, don't ever assume you're the only one making choices here.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:12 am
@Onarey,
"looking for all your life"? Honey, your life has barely started.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:14 am
@spidergal,
spidergal wrote:

You could ask both of them out, if you're fine with multiple dates - and if they're okay with that idea.


Girl # 1 is dating 3 or 4 boys - seems she might be ok with adding one to the herd.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 09:21 am
@Onarey,
Have you been dating both? Is that why you need to choose?

I'd imagine if you are just friends with both girls - then it would be acceptable to ask each out for a date - at different times/days of course!

Isn't going out on dates another way to determine if you want to be more serious and simply date just one? Also, like some one else said, you need to also be accepted by one of the girls as well.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 09:23 am
What makes you feel that you have a choice with #1?

She sounds like she sees you as one of MANY. You will not be able to make her be "exclusive" to you.

#2 sounds nice, but you don't talk about any real "spark" there. It really MUST be there, you know.

So - I sugggest you choose Neither.

You need to find that "nice" girl who you are "crazy" about.

Keep looking . . .

0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

A good cry on the train - Discussion by Joe Nation
New to Dating Issues - Question by dee2me
Should I trust my instincts? - Question by helpthehelperhelpher
Love problem!!! - Question by Cool123
How to get married man out my head - Question by SofiaMia12
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Who should I choose?
Copyright © 2014 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.06 seconds on 09/22/2014 at 10:12:01