Thu 6 Jan, 2011 12:07 pm
My good bye letter to a recent widow I dated helps me tremendously. He was married to his wife for 32 years and lost her five months ago. I hope this helps others too.
"I miss you and Sade too. I believe we were instrumental to each in many beautiful rays. You helped me to stay true to the path which I am practicing. I learned to love boundlessly and to understand that time is not a factor when it comes to love. I am grateful for the wonderful thoughts of our experiences. Remember me as your little freckled Lily, swaying in the kitchen while making our dinner. Remember me as your friend who shared a movie together, laughed as we played a game, and childish with Sade. Remember me as your lover who kissed you a thousand times. And I remember you in our most wonderful moments.
I know I was there to help you. In what capacity, I am not certain. But I don't question it, as St. Francis of Assisi had said, "Asked not to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, and to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive."
I hereby release you of our physical attachment and obligations. I hope that you do the same for me. For what we had was greater than physical.
I am grieving at the present moment. I wish us both healing and happiness."
I know you are hurting.
You helped make grief doable for him.
He is strengthened for whatever happens in the future.
A man who lost his wife is a widower, not a widow.
Thank you for correcting my typo. Too late for me to correct.