Hello. I came across your post because I was looking for ways to help my husband deal with my depression. I was hospitalized last May for suicidal thoughts. I did not attempt suicide, but I was scared that I would. Ever since I have been home from the hospital my husband treats me like I am made out of glass. He doesn't know what to do either. I am not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, but I can tell you from my perspective of being the patient what I think. First of all, you are not responsible for her depression. You are obviously supportive of her, and that is really all you can do. Ultimately, those of us who have mental illness are the only ones who can really do anything to improve our situation. Let her know that you are there to listen, but know that there are some things that she may not want to discuss with you, and that is her right. She may feel that you already have a low opinion of her and she doesn't want to make that worse. From my own experience, I know that when I was really thinking about suicide I did not announce it to people. She may be trying to gain your attention or sympathy. But ALL SUICIDAL THREATS OR GESTURES MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. There are many reasons she may be talking that way. Perhaps she needs to hear that if she killed herself she would be greatly missed by her family. I know that I have had times where I really believed that everyone would be better off without me. The most important thing is that your wife needs professional help. If she is making suicidal threats and gestures, she most likely needs to be hospitalized for at least a few days. In the hospital, they can observer her, give her a correct diagnosis, help you with strategies on how to deal with her behavior, and adjust her medication. I take prozac for depression, and I take 80 mg a day along with several other medications. That does seem like a very low does to me. You can do what you feel is right, and be supportive of her as much as possible, but the main thing you need to remember is that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I am very worried that my husband blames himself for my illness. However, if your wife had a "medical illness", you would never blame yourself. Depression is a serious physical and mental illness and needs to be taken seriously.
I hope this was helpful to you.