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Gross Things In Your Life: Rated for Gross Factor: Warning

 
 
patiodog
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Aug, 2007 11:27 pm
Boredom is a great motivator.

Perhaps not to drudgery, but to changing and learning it is.

If you value that sort of thing, boredom's not a bad thing that it is.







When I was growing up I was told that being bored meant that you were boring. Which was kind of like, well, yeah, I'm boring because I'm bored. It's only when you get bored with something that you really look at more interesting (and better) ways to do it. I pushed paper for years at a job I had. Got bored at that job, went back to school and changed the way (without logging fewer than 5 work hours per day studying, hanging out on the internet, and going for long walks down along the docks by the medical school and long lunches at the nearest bar, which had free pool on Monday afternoons) in which boring paperwork was done at that particular institution (by making it less boring, though it would have taken someone with a similar capcity for and distaste for boredom to keep the computer files up to date and labile enough to handle the learning curve of the next generation of users, since circumstances change in unforeseen ways).

Now I've got no time to be bored, and I haven't done anything interesting in weeks (outside of the main line of activity, which is, at least, interesting in its own right).






So, right, gross. Yesterday one of my patients was smeared with and dripping a great deal of her own dog **** mixed with dysfunctional anal gland secretions -- thank god I'm one of those who bucks the rules and wears the hospital's scrubs to work in, or I'd have had to bring shitty scrubs home to wash in my dryer at home, which is neither appealing nor safe for my pets and family -------- but students don't have a union to point out that this isn't right.



Which reminds me of something I think I want to rant about, so I'm off to the ranting thread to apostrophe (which only means, after all, to talk to a wall)...
martybarker
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Aug, 2007 12:37 am
I'm sorry to say that I believe I may have the grossest story ever(maybe even a few)
We had a patient years ago that had a bile duct obstruction. Our part of his treatment was to place a drainage tube to allow all that bile to go somewhere since it wasn't draining internally. The tube is then hooked to an external bag and the patient empties it until the obstruction is resolved. Well, in this particular case, the pts primary physician felt that he needed the bile in his system to aid in whatever the bile does. So he instructed the pt to mix some of his own bile in a cup of coffee every day.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Aug, 2007 12:44 am
Wow.

That's really disgusting.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Aug, 2007 08:45 am
<looks at coffee with disgust, shrugs and drinks it anyway>

Ew!
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:33 pm
lice check at the school today..........
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:37 pm
So, do you have 'em up top or down below?
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:47 pm
I DON'T HAVE THEM ANYWHERE! harumph. It's a standard procedure at the start of the school year.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:48 pm
Sure, okay, whatever you say.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:48 pm
Hey!
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:49 pm
I'm telling everyone I know that littlek has lice.

































Of course, since no one I know knows who littlek is, they'll just assume I'm talking about my penis. Hmmm.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:51 pm
Er, so sorry about that.

Last year, we did have a close run in with lice. My niece had them and so we all kept an eye on our own heads. No one else got them.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:52 pm
Poor lice. They're just trying to make an honest lousy living of it.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Sep, 2007 08:53 pm
Clinging to the only thing they know how to do.
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plantress
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2007 09:19 am
my kids got lice so often at our school that I finally bought the "professional" metal lice comb!
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2007 10:11 am
Some people make a good living as nit-pickers.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2007 10:25 am
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

http://creatures.ifas.ufl.edu/urban/lice_nit.jpg
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2007 11:53 pm
little shits!
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plantress
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Sep, 2007 07:54 am
it's those little clingy eggs that are so annoying
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patiodog
 
  3  
Reply Wed 24 Sep, 2008 03:42 pm
All right, I'm reviving this sucker.

At work we spay and neuter cats and dogs on the cheap for people of modest means. (Unfortunately, all they've got to do to demonstrate modest means is say that they need low-cost spay/neuter assistance, and they're in, but we don't take as many Great Danes out of the backs of Escalades as you might think.)

At any rate, our clients commonly ignore the "don't feed the animal on the morning of the surgery" instructions. (The point of fasting is the vomiting can occur during anesthesia, and an anesthetized animal (or person) doesn't guard their airway and can end up with aspiration pneumonia.)

Now, for whatever reason, cats almost never vomit during anesthesia, but dogs do so frequently enough that it's a real concern. So we give all of the dogs morphine in the pre-anesthetic meds cocktail. Giving a dog morphine intramuscularly is a pretty reliable way to induce vomiting, and it's a good pre-med, to boot, so it's a win-win situation. Most of the dogs vomit within about 10 minutes of the injection, and about 1/3 to 1/2 of them bring up their forbidden breakfast.

Every once in a while, they'll bring up a foreign body.

We had one of these on Monday. A pit bull did the usual post-morphine retching, and brought up a 10-inch compressed tube of plant matter and some sort of cloth. Since it's useful for us and the owner to know what the dog's been getting into, we teased the mess apart.

There was a fair amount of grass, and the cloth component was wadded together tightly. Appeared to be cotton or a cotton blend, though. Ran the bunch under water, and it started to expand and loosen a bit.

A string became evident. Then another string.




When all was said and done, we counted 7 used tampons. Hungry dog, I guess.









If you've got a dog, get a trash can with a lid.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Sep, 2008 04:19 pm
@patiodog,
Quote:
When all was said and done, we counted 7 used tampons. Hungry dog, I guess.


*gag* that certainly is gross.


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