Mon 9 Jul, 2007 05:40 pm
Ready for this?
A couple hours after phoning the doctor to set up an appointment to check this sebaceous cyst I've had for 15-20 years, I was eating a bowl of gnocchi with tomato sauce and mozzerella when my neice bonked me on the head with a rubber muffin tray (very lightly). It hurt like hell, I put my hand on my head and when I took it off, it was wet. EEEEEWWWWWW!
I spent the next 20 minutes squeezing it and wet-compressing the thing. It was at times like a tube of tooth paste and then sometimes like a drippy faucet. And, yes, it was gross.
After some time I went back and managed to choke down my lunch which looked remarkably like what I had just squeezed out of my scalp.
Go ahead, gross me out!
Oh crap man I had a cyst like that once in my armpit of all places. Hurt like bloody hell. I walked around for a week not swing my arms looking like an idiot. I wasn't going away on it's own, it seems and my doctor at the time was married to the infamous Australian "Dr. Death" so I was kind of afraid to go see her.
So one night when the boys were out and I enjoyed a couple of stiff drinks I took a long hot shower, put a clean blade in my x-acto knife and cut the damn thing open.
Toothpaste! That is exactly what it was like.
Horrible and marvelous at the same time.
Next time tell your niece to give you a couple of shots of nice whiskey before banging you on the cyst.
But you are seriously gross for eating gnocci afterwords. Seriously.
Ouch, your underarm!?!
Round two or littlek vs. the cream cheese monster who lives on her head went pretty well.
We're the only two gross people on here. Who knew?
I was wondering if this was going to be one of those highly viewed, but rarely posted to threads.
msolga wrote: k, do you think things are "coming to a head" on the family vs finances thread. Sorry but I couldn't help but find that funny.
Ack! Now osso says: It's interesting how in a long term relationship with a sister or close friend that a lot of stuff can fester.
Stop it you guys!
Hahaha - I noticed that too!
Your head cyst is a metaphor for your life.
The only thing that can brighten your day is a trip to Portland to see that new nephew. (Guilt trip your family. Go on -- do it.)
(I might be moving nearish to that neighborhood so come visit!)
The nephew is HERE! I just got to spend a whole lot of time with him and my sis. And that did help a lot. He likes me, I make him giggle his sweet little 5 month old giggle.
Head Cyst: Coming to a Head Near You.
One time I was sitting on the toilet, horribly hungover, and trying to pass the contents of whatever I had eaten the night before. Finally, after much struggling, I heard the troublesome turd splash into the water and felt the backsplash gently caress my backside. I glanced into the toilet expecting to see something of enormous length and girth, but was surprised to see a scaly creature of reasonable proportion, a prehistoric-looking thing with bulging eyes, swimming in frantic circles around the edge of the toilet.
Even before I had a chance to wipe I flushed the toilet and watched the thing swirl faster and faster and finally disappear down the drain.
Then I realized that I should have wiped first and then flushed, but because I didn't and had to double flush, I knew I was wasting water and I am generally not a person inclined to waste.
littlek, I feel so close to you right now. I too had a sebaceous head cyst for years. Right behind my hairline on the front of my head. Finally decided to do something about it when it start causing pain when I would lean my head against something.
I winced when you said you got bopped on the head, yeah...hurts.
When the doc split the skin to remove it, even though the area was numbed, it felt like my whole head had been opened up....just a really gross feeling. That and the tugging on the thing in there.
He walked away across the room and was fiddling with the assistant with vials and paperwork, and I'm sitting there with 2 little forceps sticking out of my head.
He comes back and asks me if I want to look at the cyst...I'm like "not until you stitch me back up...this is making me sick" Anyway, when I did look at it, it was grossly cool. Like a little jagged meteorite.
emptying a cat's anal glands. dare you to eat gnoci after that.
Ok, you want gross. One time I discovered an old cow that had been dead for probably a week and was bloating in the hot summer sun. I hooked a cable to its neck and started winching it onto the back of my truck. As the cow worked its way slowly up the makeshift ramp its belly snagged a nail and punctured a hole in its stomach, releasing a blast of toxic air and disgusting liquid that caught me square in the face. I staggered backwards, screaming and spitting, and ran as fast as I could and dove into the pig pond, right among the startled pigs. I drank copious amounts of the pig pond water, swished in around in my mouth, and spit out the offending cow juices.
I can still, to this day, taste that crap.
OK, I've held this back. I live in a housing tract with cockroaches in the drains and g'knows in what walls, and so on. Given this is a tract wide and probably city wide problem, the number I've had haven't been all so many. Indeed I went months without one gracing my tile floor, etc., until a few weeks ago. It's water they like, in the heat, mostly, and I endeavor to not give them any. So, two evenings ago, I picked up the asian woven basket thing that I've kept the geranium in and watered through winter and finally planted, so it's been an empty basket sitting there by the back door.. to put the basket on the back patio. I look down. Six quite dead as doornails cockroach bodies. ****, they like the water from watered plants.
Reminds me of the time I found the mouse in the potted plant back in north north...
but, I think mice are kind of cute, even as I fear them for matters like hanta virus, et al. It will be a long day in Tipperary before I think a cockroach is cute.
Yes, yes, I know, borax....
Chai - mine's on my part. I want to remove it and will when I can afford the copay. Actually, given that it's ruptured, maybe there won't be a copay now (less on the cosmetic scale)
Gus, that was pretty gross. Yep. <shudder>
Osso - I feared hanta more than any other thing when I lived out there. Even more than widows.