Gross Things In Your Life: Rated for Gross Factor: Warning

I recall the time I found the body of a man in a very remote region alongside some railroad tracks. I had been hiking in Montana, in the heat of July, and one day as I was walking along a rise I noticed a stream in the distance that looked like a good place to camp for the night.

I had to walk along a very scenic stretch of railroad for a short piece as I navigated towards the stream and at one point a very powerful odor hit me. Dead people have a different smell to them than any other animal when they are decomposing; there is a certain sweetness mixed in with the ordinary pungent odor associated with death.

Anyway, I knew there was a dead human in the vicinity so I started poking around in the weeds and, sure enough, there was a guy in a suit not more than fifteen feet from the tracks. I surmised someone must have thrown him from the train because no one in a suit goes hiking in the middle of Montana.

I took my walking stick and pushed him over so I could see his face. Pools of maggots swarmed in his eyes and his lips had long been removed by small carnivores which passed in the night.

The smell was quite powerful so I removed my bandana and held it over my face as I quickly began rummaging through the dead guy's pockets. I found his wallet in the inside pocket of his suitcoat and quickly left the scene, gasping for air as I did so.

Back at the tracks, I sat down on one of the rails (quite hot, but tolerable) and began to rummage through the wallet. Quite a few credit cards, driver's license, a few photos of his wife and kids, and a gift certificate for JCPenneys for the amount of 100.00. There was also thirty seven dollars in cash neatly arranged in order of denomination. One twenty, one ten, one five, and two ones. I took the gift certificate and the cash and put it in my backpack. Then I returned to the body and placed the wallet back in the inside pocket of his suit.

Here's where the gross part comes in. As I was started to stand up to leave a badger came out of the guy's mouth. It had to force its way out and I could hear the guy's jawbone and teeth breaking and then his head literally explodes as the badger struggled to get out. The badger and I stared at each other for a second and then he scampered away, the guy's intestines covering him like spaghetti.

I had read somewhere that the main staple of a badger was the common earthworm and, mulling it over later, I theorized that that critter had been burrowing underground and broke the surface right where the body was and he continued to burrow into the guy's intestinal cavity. There he discovered this plethora of the fattest damned earthworms he had ever seen and began to eat to his heart's desire. Afterwards, full and happy, he searched for an exit and, seeing light coming from the guy's mouth, chose that path for his departure.

And there I was as he exited.

Another thing, as I think back to this story: At the time I thought I was quite familiar with the biota of Montana and the badger certainly wasn't on the list.

Did you guys know that Montana has badgers?

and this is what i find...


sack

I like that little story.

almost everything I can think of involves pulling things out of a dog's butt

seems I've been doing that more than I ever expected

Cleo likes to eat verra verra long pieces of grass - then it goes through her, sort of, with poop coming out like it's on a shish kebob skewer - but it doesn't all come out - so I pull the rest of it out.

seems normal now

I used to think it was gross.

I know about that long grass and the long twigs and the long bits of swallowed towel. Especially from my sis' dogs.

I like Gus' stories.

I must profess a lesser level of grossosity than shewolf (and than HM#3) as I never smelled the goop coming out of my head cyst.

What........in the hell....is that for.

Man, iv'e seen all kinds of **** and thats just weird man. I'm getting old.

Somebody put that ho in a hefty bag and put her ass on the inernet. Somebody call her MaMa.

So Amigo likes Gus' story about the dead guy, his money and the badger, but he can't take hot chicks gone wild with cysts, pus and anal glands.

Go figure.

That sounds like a tarentino flick.

ok peeps this is my favorite thread.

Have you ever gone in your kids b room to find that the whoosis that pulls up that little stopper thing in the tank has broken so the toilet won't flush? And that your sicko kids have crapped and peed in there and stuffed mounds of tp in there til it's like a landfill coming up and out of the water? Then have you ever had to put your bare hand in all that mess and remove wads of poopy tp so you can flush the whole thing w/out its coming back at you?

Just wondering

Egads! Buy a plunger!

Once, in Chicago, I lived in a very nice 12-unit apartment building. The neighbor below me was the nastiest bitch alive and the building became infested with roaches because of this one person. Back then, I, like my mother, kept an old can of cooking lard in the kitchen and, this particular can had a cracked plastic lid. Well, one evening I lifted the lid to use some of the lard only to discover that the can was swimming with dead roaches, some only half-buried. They must have crawled into the grease when it was melted and then couldn't get out. It was a sight I'll never forget.

ooooffff...

along that same line...

I stayed to take summer class one year in college, had to move into a different dorm to consolidate space. The room I moved into had been empty a month or more.

Someone had left a zip lock bag with food in it. A roach had gotten in there (maybe put there) and laid eggs.

I opened the drawer to find a gallon size zip lock with a zillion roaches in it, swarming.

I still feel sick thinking of that.

Speaking of gross apartments....

THIS one was..

When I was finally with the landlord to come in and take a look, he had to have a locksmith come out because they locked the doors and just left.
What he didnt know what that they had been gone for 3 months. ( at least according to the date the electricity was turned off)

And they left everything.

Plastes of dinner STILL on the counters and in the sink. Food 1/2 eaten.

Fridge and freezer FULL of food, had been left there, in the heat, for 3 months.

Piss all over the back of the toilet.
And un flushed toilet at that
Dirty diapers in small , untied bags, all over the floors


holy...... ****.....




And people wonder why I am still seeing roaches several months later.
This place was INFESTED.

eeeewwww

I'm right in the middle of a book by Chuck Palahniuk (of Fight Club fame)

I've enjoyed several of his books, most of all, Choke.

This one is named Rant.

I gotta tell, this Palahniuk just keep pushin' the buttons until he hits everyone's personal gross out factor.

Good writing, clever, keeps you turning the pages to see "god, what could possibly happen NEXT?"

I'm reading past several ooey gooey things, all sorts of bodily emissions, thinking....eww gross, but that would really bother Cheryl, she hates...

anyway, last night he hit my personal "OH RALPH!" button.

Anyone else read any of him?

At least you didn't find half of a centipede in your third spoonful....

Chai, I read the one that he wrote called "Haunted" I believe. There was a story in it in the beginning about a kid masturbating in the swimming pool directly above the filter drain who ended up getting most of his intestines and stomach parts sucked down and stuck in the drain from out of his a-hole. He then tried to get out of the pool, but was stuck fast to the bottom of the pool by his own viscera, which he had to bite through to get free.

I'm sitting here trying to think of what I've seen that's truly grossed me out, and unfortunately it has to do with a sexual experience.

If you would ask a bunch of guys to describe their worst one-night drunken stand, I'd bet 90% would have to do with the girl being fat.

Well, mine is the opposite. She had an obvious eating disorder, which I couldn't really tell until the clothes were off. Bones sticking out everywhere...ribs, collar bones, hip bones, zero boobs, absolutely disgusting. Definitely worse than someone with a little too much meat. For months I'd shudder at the thought of it. She looked like a f'n skeleton.

But then the end of the plunger would get all icky.

I can relate shewolf. I once had to clean a toilet with steel wool. After that the closed fridge that had been sitting unplugged for two months was a piece of cake (so to speak...)