Hire a parenting consultant!

redpickle wrote:

Supernanny rocks!

And she doesn't have to spank the children

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redpickle wrote:

All the above applies here. Yet a thought of hiring someone goes against my grain. I rely on common sense, my instincts, a few chosen parenting books, and on trying to keep the noun "parent" a noun, not the verb.

Yeah, I can't quite imagine hiring someone myself -- it doesn't automatically bother me though if other people feel the need to do it though. I'd much rather that people have too many parenting skills rather than not enough. The only thing that really worries me about it is whether the coaches are actually qualified -- giving out authoritative bad advice and getting paid for making things worse would suck.

What's wrong with "parent" as a verb?

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squinney wrote:

I wouldn't hire one... but I would love to make the recommendation to a few. Some parenting things I see going on nearly drive me mad!

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sozobe wrote:

What's wrong with "parent" as a verb?

"To parent" used to mean "to be a parent of". Now it is loaded with sense of taking control over and away from the child.

I happen to agree with Boomerang: "Everything today is so overly sanitized, zero tolerence, politically correct, overly organized, that kids just seem like miniture adults. There doesn't seem to be much adventure left. "

So my quest is for returning the adventure. To let the kids just be.

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I smell some extra cash in this thread. Or maybe another reality TV series......

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redpickle wrote:

"To parent" used to mean "to be a parent of". Now it is loaded with sense of taking control over and away from the child.

I wish more parents would take control over their kids.

I'd agree that as a child grows they should gain more and more freedom and responsibility but a 4 year old has no business being "in control" of anything more than their toybox.

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redpickle wrote:

sozobe wrote:
What's wrong with "parent" as a verb?

"To parent" used to mean "to be a parent of". Now it is loaded with sense of taking control over and away from the child.

I happen to agree with Boomerang: "Everything today is so overly sanitized, zero tolerence, politically correct, overly organized, that kids just seem like miniture adults. There doesn't seem to be much adventure left. "

So my quest is for returning the adventure. To let the kids just be.

Heh. I've seen the opposite. Too many parents who are hands-off, lazy, uninvolved, too permissive.

Kids become mini adults when parents try to stay kids themselves. Doesn't matter if that means the kid is in a million activities so mom and dad don't have to be involved, or if it's because mom and dad are irresponsible tarts.

In case you didn't notice, kids need grown ups. Not as friends, as GROWN UPS.

I'm guessing you didn't grow up with a 'permissive' parent. If you had, you might release the adventure gets quite tiresome of being your parent's best pal, and being expected to do things that you can not possibly do....like making major decisions about your life and future.

Structure and security, as a kid, first. That matters. Nothing is fun if you are scared and wondering what is going to happen next, all the time, and if it's going to be ok.

There are a lot of kids out there just screaming for adult guidance and direction.

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Ooo, I must tell my parents.

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I'd opt for a childrens advocate instead of a parent consultant.

Yes, children misbehave, didn't we all? In today's world, children have
far more changes and complications in life to deal with than we did:
multiple divorced parents,
being pushed around to new stepfamilies,
sometimes to grandparents
sit in daycare from 6 am to 6 pm
and the list goes on and on.

The question is always: why do children act the way they do?

And yes, there are also clueless parents who just don't know how to handle
their offspring, like Supernanny shows, but more often children have to
act like mini adults without them asking for it.

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mushypancakes wrote:

Heh. I've seen the opposite. Too many parents who are hands-off, lazy, uninvolved, too permissive.

Kids become mini adults when parents try to stay kids themselves. Doesn't matter if that means the kid is in a million activities so mom and dad don't have to be involved, or if it's because mom and dad are irresponsible tarts.

In case you didn't notice, kids need grown ups. Not as friends, as GROWN UPS.

I'm guessing you didn't grow up with a 'permissive' parent. If you had, you might release the adventure gets quite tiresome of being your parent's best pal, and being expected to do things that you can not possibly do....like making major decisions about your life and future.

Structure and security, as a kid, first. That matters. Nothing is fun if you are scared and wondering what is going to happen next, all the time, and if it's going to be ok.

There are a lot of kids out there just screaming for adult guidance and direction.

Seems to me there are two parallel threads going on the same topic, freedom vs. structure. I could not reply to you better than Plantress and Sozobe did in the "My! What big eyes you have! (or: Are you blind!?)" on page 5. I wholeheartedly agree with them.

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redpickle wrote:

sozobe wrote:
What's wrong with "parent" as a verb?

"To parent" used to mean "to be a parent of". Now it is loaded with sense of taking control over and away from the child.

Maybe. I think of the word parent as a verb that means "to guide and teach". Not that it means I'm any good at it, just that's what I aim for. Most definitely a verb for me. Unguided children turn in to rootless, confused, and floundering adults. I have that on good authority.

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Hire a parenting consultant!

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