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Fri 15 Jun, 2007 07:05 pm
Hello everyone this is my first topic so please stay with me
I have a 16 year old. Her curfew is seven, we are always arguing because she thinks that it is too early. She has been caught drinking a few times and stays out past seven a few times a month.
Now with school letting out she wants her curfew raise... should it be?
Only if she is not drinking.
1. Curfew extended to 10 pm but immediate reduction of 1 hour if found to be consuming alcohol, drugs or driving.
Each subsequent breach of the rules will result in a further reduction of curfew. 3 strikes and your out.
If more than 15 mins late police will be called and parents will drive around looking for her.
Dont forget that a 16 year old girl is physically a fully formed adult without life experience. Teenagers need to take risks.
The most Important thing is to let her set the rules but arrive at the above position thinking she has talked you into it.
dadpad wrote:Only if she is not drinking.
1. Curfew extended to 10 pm but immediate reduction of 1 hour if found to be consuming alcohol, drugs or driving.
Each subsequent breach of the rules will result in a further reduction of curfew. 3 strikes and your out.
If more than 15 mins late police will be called and parents will drive around looking for her.
Dont forget that a 16 year old girl is physically a fully formed adult without life experience. Teenagers need to take risks.
The most Important thing is to let her set the rules but arrive at the above position thinking she has talked you into it.
dadpad is totally wrong in this instance, curfew should always be negoiated for circumstance.
I have no idea where you live, but that would be considered very early where I'm from. Is she driving?
JPB wrote:I have no idea where you live, but that would be considered very early where I'm from. Is she driving?
No she is not driving yet.
dyslexia wrote:dadpad wrote:Only if she is not drinking.
1. Curfew extended to 10 pm but immediate reduction of 1 hour if found to be consuming alcohol, drugs or driving.
Each subsequent breach of the rules will result in a further reduction of curfew. 3 strikes and your out.
If more than 15 mins late police will be called and parents will drive around looking for her.
Dont forget that a 16 year old girl is physically a fully formed adult without life experience. Teenagers need to take risks.
The most Important thing is to let her set the rules but arrive at the above position thinking she has talked you into it.
dadpad is totally wrong in this instance, curfew should always be negoiated for circumstance.
Teenagers will bend the rules anyway dys. Giving them something strict to bend is one way of keeping them in check.
If there is a special event or similar the kid can negotiate a better deal. But its all based on trust. Mostly PARENTS learning to trust their kids good sense, forgiving them and mending the broken pieces when they make mistakes.
njdevil209 wrote:JPB wrote:I have no idea where you live, but that would be considered very early where I'm from. Is she driving?
No she is not driving yet.
When I'm doing the delivery and pick-up then I pick the time that gives my daughter a chance to have fun and me a chance to get a decent night's sleep. Most of the Mom's here have decided on 10:30 as late enough.
Agreeing with JPB, that that's early around here, too.
When our kids were 16 (they're now 25 and 22), they were finishing up grade 10 and had just gotten their licences. Curfew was negotiable, dependng on what they were doing and absolutely depended upon communication. It was never later than 12:00, though, and often earlier.
We stressed that freedom came with communication. If we know where you are, who you're with, what you're doing, you'll have increasing freedom.
It worked for us. We were more strict than most.
Give them enough rope, but not enough to hang themselves.
thanks everyone for your help in this matter.
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