Setanta wrote:
But the Ohioans deserve to be recognized for an old-fashioned, small town courtesy which i have rarely seen in my life outside of the South. It is so common that someone will wait in traffic to let someone else in, that even in this state of some of the worst, most thoughtless drivers i've ever seen, "rush hour" moves along fairly well. makes an enormous
Setanta<
The old-fashioned courtesy in the small-town South is about gone with the wind. People here are like others around the nation who scurry to work, scurry home, scurry to say hello to the family, scurry to eat and scurry to bed. This being the case, many of us down here rarely know our next-door neighbors.
It is comforting to know that you have found a place in which you seem content. You have a lack of restlessness which, I guess, comes with maturity.
fire_n_skye<
Welcome to A2k! I would be happy to hold the door for you anytime.
I much prefer being nice, it's a easier on the stomach.
I work face to face with a lady {my best friend}, she has a real problem with another lady in our office, who is very nice, pleasant, open minded, and helpful.
One day recently my friend was ranting and raving about the other lady, she was almost in a frenzy talking about her, when suddenly she said to me, "you like her, don't you?" I said, "I don't dislike her, she's never done anything to me that was rude or devious."
She then realized how she was behaving, and just said {more or less to herself} "I've got to change!"
Misti<
"I've got to change!"
Your friend is very wise. Sometimes our friends will want us to "fix" them.
That does not work and puts a strain on the relationship.
WH: Yes, my friend is very wise, for her young years {50}!
She will change, because she realizes where the problem lies!
Awareness is the first step.
Misti<
I am sure it will be gratifying to you to watch your friend "grow" out of her problem.
You may find some of her growth unhealthy for you, and the level of your relationship may change. Meanwhile, enjoy the present moment.
WH:
I understand what you're saying and recognize that we've seen many changes in our relationship the past 14 years. The changes were all a natural occurence, changes that need to take place if a friendship is to grow and expand.
=^.^=
my first time in chat room, i need help with a sad situation,''heart breaking for me'' my 30 year old doughter and i havent spoke in 4 months and we live in same house it's as we dont see each other,it's a long story.anyone care to read a book before you can understand what happen between us.she's a wonderfull person but so am i [we need help to even start speaking again]
i'm at the library will be leaving in 5min. but back tomorow,about 12:oo am hope some one can help us i do love her
Frankemp
Frankemp, Welcome to Able2Know. Often a neutral third person can bring you and your daughter into a situation where conversation can begin---safely---until the chill thaws a little. The person can be someone neither of you know. However, a relative or mutual friend my be able to do it more naturally and in greater comfort.
BumbleBeeBoogie
starting a thread is a good idea - these people come up with a lot of good advice and common sense and an outsider can often see more clearly.
In the meantime how about writing down in a note to your daughter that you love her and would love to sort the situation out? no explanations or blame just that.
I know times when I've been furious with my daughters about something coming out with the old cliche that I love them but at the moment don't like them very much.
Frankemp<
I'll join the chorus: Welcome to A2k!
You can take what you want from this forum and leave the rest.
You'll find most of us here are sincere in wishing to help you out.
frankemp, many years ago I had issues with my mother - I won't go into detail - but it was all washed away when she sat me down and cried like a baby and told me she loved me. All the previous nastiness between us was put aside in that one moment and we began a brand new relationship from then on. We talked honestly about our differences and what had happened between us. The open door was her willingness to be vulnerable and show me her true feelings. It took a strong person to be able to do that and I would never have expected that from her. I learned who she was anew and now I'm the better for it too. We are so close now that I consider her a friend, a confidant, my rock.
Heeven wrote: We are so close now that I consider her a friend, a confidant, my rock.
Heeven<
I'll bet your mother feels the same about you!
thank you heeven
for your reply,it mean's a lot's to me that some one cares enough to comment.
you'r advice tuched my heart for i fill it was sent from god,becouse i have thought many times on how to make every thing better,between us.and got out of bed at 2:00 am and so on,and wrote my filling's on paper to her ,telling her how much i love her and how much i'm hurting over this,but she hasn't even tryed to show remorse.i have about 3 note book's where i'v been writeing,trying to find a way to end this. and reading book's on mother and doughter's meanding relationship's and many moreanything i could find,but nothing help's.i found a letter she wrote saying i can't even pray in the same house with my mother,[this broke my heart]
she really don't see her wrong,and what terrable damage she's done by her comment's.
BUT the way you tuched me is i'v been thinking if i just let everything go and take blame for it all and tell her i love her no matter if she love's me or not,and i will be here when she need's me and see's who really loved her.but i just havent been able to let my self do that,becouse she hurt me in a very ugly disrespectfull way and nasty,nasty lies to our bishop.and denies to this day that it is lies,becouse to do that she will have to admite she is wrong in living her life the way she is.[she has deeply hurt me] and i'm a very forgiving person.and ''love'' all 3 of my kid's and 10 grandkid's. thank you all for you'r advice
Random acts of kindness - no way to give back the amount of grace this puppy gets
ok if kindness is free [I hope some one is kind enough] to tell me how to get myanswers to my messages. lol shame to ask this,but tired of trying to work it out on my own. i'm still learning about comp.
Frankemp, Believe me you will work it out. I'm in my kismet mood tonight.
Merry Christmas, and never give up.
From Florida
frankemp wrote: tired of trying to work it out on my own.
frank<
I would suggest Divine intervention here. Pray a lot.
