Giving kindness is free

true - and when a driver waves thank you to you for letting them out from a side road -you feel it was worthwhile - you feel happy

Being kind makes you feel good and so does kindness towards you

We do impose our moods on other people don't we? thinking about being in a bad mood and cross and sharp - it spreads ...

A random act of kindness, huh. Well, I try to be kind all the time, Brit, but sometimes it comes at a rather high price. I do agree with Vivien,however. Nothing feels better than good feels.

oak, Those are the basics; saying please and thank you. Threre are those other kindesses that can hurt your ego, and those are the hardest to practice. Forgiving somebody that has done you wrong is but one example. I'm sure others will be able to dig up some other examples. c.i.

I have always liked the story of Jesus washing another's feet. I am not religious, but the meaning of the act speaks volumes for me.

Random acts of kindness mean a lot to me. Recently at my little neighborhood bar a woman sat down next to me. She had come with her daughter who lived in the area. anyway a drunk came over and started bothering her. She had divorced a drunk and was really uncomfortable. I inserted myself between them. Didn't help as he just went around me. So I got up and told him he was frightening her. He didn't mean to but the booze prevented any judgement. He thanked me for letting him know and backed off.

The real payback was meeting the daughter who was tough as nails. She had all the armor she would ever need. But when she talked about Mom the face softened and the tone of her voice showed the depth of her feeling for the one good parent she had. Dad apparently was a brutal drunk. The lesson in softness in a hard hearted woman affirmed what I already knew was true. Give a hand when you can. It helps.

You know, Bob. I once asked someone if they would take a bullet for someone that they loved. I didn't really get an answer, but I had to think a minute about myself. We never know what we will do when that time may or may not come.I like to think that I would. I guess we are all still an unknown quantity. I often think that people miss the point of heroism. It's the small things that a person does that makes this planet habitable. I hope you still continue to stand between what you see to be a small moment of decision as opposed to contemplated drama.

c.i.<

I have found that forgiveness for others comes much easier when I forgive myself first for the act or words in question.

Until I forgive myself for thinking unkindly of others, I find that I am unable to forgive them. You don't have to like the other person, you just have to "give up" the hard feelings towards them.

I do that by analyzing my own feelings first, and if they are negative, I forgive myself first for having them. The more I practice this method, the easier forgiveness becomes, and my life is less stressful.

I had an experience today that taught me a lesson. At my local CVS drugstore, there's a young lady who works the check-out counter who I've always felt could use some lessons in customer service. She's cold and abrupt, no smile, and her "thank you" is tired and insincere. Well today, it was the same scene and after paying for my purchases, I stepped outside to a pounding rainstorm. Standing under the overhang of the store roof, hoping the rain would ease up enough to get to my car without getting totally drenched, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the young cashier. She offered me the use of an umbrella to get to my car. She didn't have to do that. She wasn't coming outside for a smoke or anything else. She just stepped out from behind her cash register and showed a stranger a little bit of compassion. I couldn't thank her enough.
She will still, more than likely, be cold and somewhat surly behind the counter but now I know that underneath that lies a kind and thoughtful young woman. Maybe someday I'll even get a smile out of her. I'm gonna try.

You will.

williamhenry3: yes, forgiveness, IMHO, is the key as is loving oneself. I don't believe you can truly forgive or love others until you can do that for yourself and it does make all the difference in the world (and for the world); and

Letty: your example immediately reminds me of the incredible strength both mothers (and, I'm sure, fathers) have for their children in times of need. Do you recall the various stories of women lifting cars when their child is somehow trapped underneath; I believe there are other things, as well as taking a bullet, for someone else when there is a choice to be made.

I do wish we could truly understand we all are part of the human family. Lately, I see a lot of emphasis on civility, but I place much more importance on the kindness and sincerity behind/beneath it...

You may already have, inside.

eoe, That was a beautiful story. Almost brought tears.
william, I know what you mean. I've also had long practice; first to forgive myself, then others. It's worked very well for most of my adult life. My older brother was very mean to me when we were kids, so we never socialized together in any way. I've hated him for the longest time, until I learned that hating him hurt me more than it hurt him. We get along very well now - especially at our quarterly sibling brunches. We all laugh at our foilbles of childhood. c.i.

Me, too, angelina.

I currently live in Ohio. I've been here for 15 years, which is longer than i've previously lived in any one place in my life. I don't care much for Ohio, but, truth to tell, my life is mostly interior, and has to do with other people and their thoughts, so, in that regard, Ohio is mostly a wasteland, and my saving grace is the internet.

But the Ohioans deserve to be recognized for an old-fashioned, small town courtesy which i have rarely seen in my life outside of the South. It is so common that someone will wait in traffic to let someone else in, that even in this state of some of the worst, most thoughtless drivers i've ever seen, "rush hour" moves along fairly well. I should note that just a few miles away, in Columbus, this does not work, because everyone wants to be like New York, and the bad driving is combined with rudeness. In this little town, people who are complete strangers will nonetheless greet you on the street, hold the door, smile and thank you if you do the same. It makes an enormous difference in the quality of life.

a really good point - empty politeness is far better than rudeness but actually caring about people is the most important

Thank you, Vivien !

Setanta, I lived in Lancaster for a time. Are you anwhere near there?

I aways thought that the people at A2K had their hearts in the right place & the tales told here shows that to be true.
Setanta mentions the charm of the people in his small town. The town I live in, just to the north of London celebrates it's centenary this year & much of what Setanta says applies here. We have a multi cultural population of around 35,000 and everyone gets along just fine. It perhaps helps that the town is prosperous and for the most part is well run. Happy smiling faces and no bullets

Angelia, Lancaster is east-southeast of Columbus, and i am northwest. I could get on the beltway, take the Lancaster exit and be there in under an hour. Lancaster is an interesting place, they have one of the world's finest choirs, and sponsor a marvelous musical event in conjunction with the Lancaster festival eash year. I've not visited there often, though--i'm pretty much of a homebody.

I like this tread. I try to be nice to people like holding open doors and letting driver's in front of me.. I have yet to have somone hold the door for me.