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Tue 8 May, 2007 08:58 pm
I deleted #1. Not pertinent enough.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610".... which has no beginning and no end.
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic... a "Scenic Drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.
7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian. (Kurk-en-doll)
8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrases, "Oh, we must be in Pasadena!" or "Man, I hate Baytown!" or "Mmm, smell that Texas City!"
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total
right-of-way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
13. The rod iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.
14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.
16. The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.
17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.
22. If you live in Katy and I live on the south side of Houston we'll never hang out.
23. The best thing about being drunk between 2-5 am is Whataburger will serve both breakfast and normal menus.
24. Deleted
25. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the feeder like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.
26. Deleted
Gives me a sense of the downtown LA interchange. Last time I went through it, on the way here to the fine southwest, I hit it at about 8:30 on a Sunday morning. You'd think that would make it relatively pacific. Noooo.
Everybody going at least eighty, since traffic wasn't clogged, and the next freeway to catch access on...either your left or your right, perhaps in second lane from the right...
I made it with no errors, very exciting. Luckily, I had some of my old instincts still intact. G'help the newbie.
To speak up for LA, their signage in general is a zillion times better than here in Albuquerque, where I discern what intersection I'm at by the width of the teeny sign, where almost no business puts its address on signage, and where you can't get there from here.
ossobuco wrote: G'help the newbie.
L.A. is where I learned to drive.
It was awful. *sobs*
One time, in my first month or so, two of my employees suggested we go to some specific spot for lunch. I had to go somewhere else right after, so we took two cars. I didn't know where the restaurant was, so just followed them (mistake #1). The driver was a maniac, in standard L.A. mode but a maniac. I had to keep up. I was pretty much hyperventilating by the time we got there. They were like "what...?"
Sounds like traffic actually moves in LA.
Not so, in Houston.
Depends on what time of day. 6 AM -10 AM, 3 PM - 7 PM, also total snarls.
The rest of the time, scary-fast.
Well, scary for a while, I got used to it. Since it was when I formulated my driving style, I still have to tamp down my more LA-ish impulses.
At least we use lanes in the US.
Here's a street-level view in India:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_9c9UPJ4tQ.
We use lanes in Albuquerque, but they seem to be restriped rarely..
When I go to Corpus Christi, I get lulled into relaxing somewhat, after the rigors of Houston driving. It seems so laid back. Then, like a bolt out of the blue, somebody driving slower than you are turns across your lane to make a turn. You slam on the brakes and then for a time you drive like you are back in Houston. Most unsettling.
Yeh, I was not so many blocks from home the other day, and came out of the lot with Staple's, all clear, turned right, and some bozo from the WalMart lot across the street revved up and nearly got me, but I forged on. Went on the street under the freeway, turned right, with full right of way, and a truck shot across in front of me, not seeing me. Shheeeeeesh. People don't look side to side. Idiocy reigns.
Why can't people drive as good as me?
Yesterday, my daughter, heading home from work, was confronted with a lightening bolt striking a power line, right in front of her. No one was harmed, but it made a light so brilliant, she could not see and had to pull off of the street.
Not long after, my wife, turning into the neighborhood, had a tailgater. Even though she flashed her signal for almost a whole block, he had to hit the ditch to avoid rear ending her car when she slowed to go around the corner.
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