Why are better educated people less religious?

Thank you for the invitation. It would probably be premature for me to consider this, as I'm new at this site. I live and work full-time in Santa Barbara, CA, and I don't often travel that much these days (although I used to travel a lot when I was younger).

Not "premature" at all. I'm sure many old-timers on A2K will agree with me that better than 90% of the gatherings have been successful, and the first time with anything is fraught with anxiety, but a2k gatherings are quite a different animal. We had two new folks attend our Chicago gathering early this month, and I'm more than positive we all had a good time. A couple of them drove in from Ohio - a three hour drive - to participate on a Saturday for brunch and a Cub's game. joefromchicago got us box seat tickets, and we all had a ball with 40,200 fans. Our picture was even plastered on the internet on the Cub's fan web site.

When we visited Walter in Lippstadt, his hometown, he took us on a one day tour to Munster.

When I went to Russia last year in June, I met SerSo in Moscow, and we spent a day together. He wrote me last week to invite me back, and told me he'll show me more of Russia on my next trip.

What's not to like? It's a very good way to enrich one's life experiences.

A glass of red wine a night can reduce prostate cancer up to 87% due to chemicals in it that are also available in grapes, etc. Therefore, a glass of wine a night is actually, indeed, healthy.

Is it too late in the thread to make this comment/ask this question? Lent began today, and I am once again confronted with: I have become gradually, in recent years, a non-theist or non-believer married to a devout Catholic. This division is widening, and I find there are no grounds for discussion. Do others deal with this? Some people I've talked to say "..just go-along-get-along" and I know how to do this, have done it for years, but maybe there comes a time when you freeze-frame and wonder if there is a better way to go.

Maybe you should start a new thread. It's an interesting question.

Joe(good luck)Nation

Hi, Kara. You know me. I started out a devout catholic with very strong family rituals (rosary crusade, novenas) and have no theistic belief after I entered my thirties, now hitting seventy soon enough, puzzling through my late teens and twenties. I guess I was lucky I married an agnostic, so there was none of the sturm and drang that might have gone on in that area.

I can imagine having no grounds for discussion, and I know you've been married a long time. I guess it would be down to your estimation if he could begin to understand you, even if he disagrees. And only you can judge that, if you even can. I can see wanting to communicate on all this, even now.

I can also see letting him be with his mode and sucking it up, again, again.

I now think my father was agnostic, at the least, and went along with my mother, having had years to think about all this in memory (they died fairly early in my life). Super passive aggression on both sides, no wonder I'm a fool. Silence the rule, at least in front of me.

Are you able to talk with any of your children about this? None of my business, of course.

I don't think there is.

When my wife and I got married, we had to deal with churches refusing to marry us, (as I was honest with them), so she missed the church wedding she really wanted. Each priest we asked to help suggested it was best she get the hell away from me and never look back! Here we are 20 years and 2 kids later. She's not "religious" as such (raised JW but rejected that), but is a theist.

I rant about religion at times and she berates me (rightly) for my egotistical view of my own opinion. She never mentions religion around me if it can be avoided.

It's difficult, it's a schism certainly, and may cause more trouble as the kids get older, but anything can be overcome as long as there areas of commonality that balance out the differences.

Kara and Eorl - kara and I know each other from a long time; we are both older. I don't remember if you were on abuzz, where she posted as karateka. The age thing can have import here (not so much about her - still a very sportive mind, grins, but I don't know about her husband)
But maybe it shouldn't.

Not trying to close you out, the opposite... listening.

I can't believe you all chimed in. Obviously, fellow thinkers.

Osso, you wrote:


I can also see letting him be with his mode and sucking it up, again, again.

Well, yes. I have been doing that for years and years. And I'm wondering if that is my life sentence. I guess we all have one or another...

I'd be perplexed too, Kara.

Eorl, what you say is what I miss...the ranting and raving, the talk. We don't talk. Religion is sacrosanct, and I have this terrible insight that he must keep it that way...not let me or the world in....it is fragile and the belief might go away if threatened.

I have a much less "sanctified" view of marriage than I used to. I have stayed in this life, this contract, for many decades. I made a commitment and that has been all important, reinforced by having children and all of those additional commitments.

Bless you for listening. I will smile and suck it up. This is a good man, super intelligent. But....

If only there was a way to rail against religion without damaging my relationship

Do I ever know what you mean.

Relationships are the substance of life. More important than religion.

Well, I speak as a divorced woman who didn't want to be. I'm not a genius.

In our case, religion wasn't the discussion problem, but I get discussion problems, and so does Eorl.

I don't really know anything about your communication with your husband, except maybe a sense of caution. What is you estimation that he could begin to understand you now after all this time, if you do talk straight? Does he still have a lively mind?

It sounds as if you are both a bit free-thinking. Your own bond is more important than these other issues. A perfect union.

I plopped out a few babes before I was wise enough to ponder on these issues...altho I got married "late" at 25 yrs (which was old then.) After you have a few babes, life has a grip on you and you have set your course.

A lively mind, indeed. But a faith that was built in from an early age. I have tried to bring up religious issues but they are always brushed off. I feel that I must not threaten his faith and belief. Well, I don't want to. It is his comfort and his courage and everything else that is important to him. Wow. After all of these decades, I am directionless. But I want someone to talk to. Maybe I'll just have to resort to this forum as my own comfort zone.

I think we've cross posted.

No, Kara, I don't say suck it up, that was a posited choice. The other choice could get ugly.

Are your ducks in order if it would? mental or territorial?