The education of boomerang and Mr. B..... and you?

Interesting question.

For us, sort of. E.G. had a very traditional education, and hated it. He did well academically, but didn't enjoy school until he was in college.

I had a very different sort of experience. I complain about my parents, but one thing I think they handled great was my elementary school education. They (my mom especially I think) really researched the options, and identified a certain alternative school within the (large) public school district as being the one for me -- it was pretty far away and complicated to get into, and there was some sort of a waiting list so I didn't get in until after kindergarten. (I think I was on the list for two years, not sure. We moved there when I was 4, I think my mom acted shortly after that.)

My elementary school (1-6) was absolutely fabulous. I've talked about it here a lot. Our classrooms were crazy homey places, with lofts and pillows and lots of room for personal expression. (We had desks, but they were up on the loft or under the loft and we could decorate our area.) Desks were just for doing independent work -- classtime was a circle (sitting on the floor) or at tables. Music played a prominent part -- my 1-3 grade teacher played piano, my 4-6 grade teacher played guitar. We had separate music classes too but would sing and do music as part of the main class. There were three rules and only three rules: Respect yourself, respect other people, and respect other people's property. All teachers (and the principal) were addressed by their first names. We had class camping trips every year. It was great.

I was very aware of high expectations -- from everyone -- but there wasn't any kind of negative/ punishment aspect to it. I didn't get letter grades until I was in high school.

Sozlet's experience so far has been very similar to mine, in a lot of ways. We chose this area to buy a house in for a lot of reasons, but schools were probably the biggest slice of the decision pie. Did a ton of research before choosing. Sozlet's school (also a public school) is this great crazy homey place, very similar feel to my elementary school. She absolutely adores it, and adores school. We have high expectations of her, she meets them. No letter grades, won't be for a while (won't be any in elementary school at least, not sure about past that).

E.G. knew that he didn't like his own educational experience and has generally deferred to me in this whole process. (Wish he'd do that more often.) But he's happy with this school, too.

I understand what you are saying, and there is a wide spectrum of reactions which one could get toward education from their experience in the home; but not all of which would necessarily derive directly from the attitudes of one's parents. In my case, my grandfather taught me to read in the summer before my fourth birthday. I had been injured, and was laid up for quite a while, and i think his reaction was that as i could not dispel my boredom by reading, he would teach me to read, and fill up my days with that exercise, eventually leaving me able to fill my time by reading. My grandmother, who only had four years of formal education, was an inveterate reader, who made weekly trips to the library, and read three or four books a week at the least.

But when i was a child, i was surprised to learn how many children did not learn to read at home, and for whom the home was not a place they associated with reading, other than in the context of doing homework. I remember twice when i was in elementary school when i told another child that they could find out what they wondered about by a visit to the library, and go a blank look. In those innocent days, in a small town, you didn't even need a library card, you just went to the library, and looked at the books, and checked them out if you wanted to take them home to read. Yet visiting the library was not either a habit in those families (apparently) or something which would have occurred to those children. I think there are and always have been many families in which there was not a habit of reading, nor a concept of education in the home. It's kind of a sad thought--but i would say that both you and Mr. B were fortunate that you had parents who had a concept of education which was passed on to you.

Fascinating! Thank you both for your thougtful replies.

It seems to me that in both of your lives that the apple held tight.

The library was really more our school than any school we ever attended. Me and each of my siblings each did many reports on Finland because the children's librarian was from Finland. My father traveled a lot for work and made it a point to visit the main library in the nearest major city. I'll wager he visited at least 1,000 librarys across America.

Soz, it's amazing that you found a school for sozlet that so mimics your happy experience.

Set, I love your grandpa and I wonder if he knew the knowledge monster he created.

Boomer...you can doubtless predict my reply!


I think that ANYTHING about raising kids is flypaper for our own experiences of being parented.


People tend to either revert to their parents' thinking...or react against it....at least while they are not conscious of the forces shaping their thinking.


I will be interested to hear about whether your thinking changes at all now that you are both aware of what was going on.

Being a rural kid I never had any choice in the kind of education I had. It was the local public (Government funded) school or the catholic primary school.

One thing that has always concerned me about non mainstream education is the fact that our children will, at some time, have to face the world and it aint always nice. You don't get to do things only if or when you feel like it.

Education and specialisation continues right throughout our lives so early education should be based on giving our kids the base skills (3 Rs) and then as broad as possible range of experiences as possible.

I also think that teacher skills and attitudes rather than school systems or styles are more important.

I'll be interested too, dlowan!

Mr. B and I are so yin-yang in our parenting styles (and, well, everything else) that I fear Mo will be an absolute oddity. Once we do reach a compromise though -- harmony ensues.

dadpad, do you think that your parent's lack of choices regarding your education had any impact on the decisions or non-decisions you made about educating your own kids?

My education was not really mainstream and I do pretty good on the if and when stuff.....

Perhaps having to accept responsiblity about my own education helped with that.

We did not/do not have the money required for a private school education so I we were always limited. If we were cashed up I would have considered boarding schools. so in that respect my parents had no real influence. I was dissapointed with the style and effort of some individual teachers of my children at primary school level. I made several written complaints about one teacher, however the public high school here has a very committed teaching staff especially at the upper end of high school. b The school (360 kids) is quite limited in what streams they can provide but do very well in giving variety. Were we in the city we could look at different schools and have something to compare to.



Interesting and noted. Perhaps my impression is unfounded.

I attended a parochial grammar school. In those days, it wasn't very
expensive. Nuns didn't cost much. I went on to a local Catholic high school
for two years. Summer jobs and scholarships paid for a lot of it. The rest of
my education was on what I call a "celibacy scholarship".

My own kids have gone through the public system except for Nigel's high
school. We watched the Stoneham system go down the tubes and decided
to put him in private school. I believe it was the right decision.

I'd say the biggest influence of my parents (parent really, my father was out
of the picture) was respect for education and a willingness to sacrifice for it.

My family couldn't afford private school so there was no question or even a thought to private education. I liked school so my parents had it easy with me and I was also self-motivated. I liked getting those As and would strive for straight As even though typically some B would mess up my goals.

My older brother and youngest brother were more difficult. My oldest was very smart, but lazy and thought if he failed he would be put in the easier classes. My parents tried positive re-inforcement like money and rewards for good grades, but he still did poorly. My youngest was just not as smart not very motivated, but he did o-k.

I think my parents in general tried to use positive and encouraging motivation without "pushing". Although it was expected without question that I would attend college - my thoughts and theirs. They did try to guide me more toward a major/school where I would make a "good living" though they did encourage me to find something I enjoyed - sort of a balance.

My take on hubby is that he wasn't really pushed at all - sort of left on his own. His parents were divorced and he lived with his mom. He did o-k, but excelled in sports.

Funny thing is - he is much more strict on studying and doing well in school than I am. I do encourage my daughter to do her homework and study, but when she comes home with some math (not her suit) with a B, he gets all upset (not yelling upset) and tries to push her to do harder. I sort of say - hey a B is good, lets see what you got wrong and how can we learn from it.

first 3 years a school operated by Arabian American Oil Company then off to boarding school in Beirut of The Lebanon then back to america to a 2 room school near my grandparents farm home, state teachers college then off to gradual school at state university.