Are You a Middle Child?

I am #6 of 8. Does that qualify??

My brother, the middle child, felt neglected and was very resentful for a long, long time. When he and I would reminisce, it's funny but many situations and events he simply doesn't remember correctly and it becomes clear that alot of the neglect he claimed to have suffered was created in his own mind and didn't really happen. I'm not saying that there was no basis to his initial feelings but he took them way beyond the reality.

serious question, how do you know You're not the one remembering correctly?

I am #2 of 5. I think I have the most forceful personality of my siblings. I have one who has a similar personality to me (just not as severe) #4.

#1 was the good-girl (favorite of the two eldest when we were younger although parental units tell me I was more entertaining!)

#2 was me - demon-child (maybe I reacted to #1 being "#1"?)

#3 was a gem, quiet and no problems

#4 another similar me but less bratty/badly behaved

#5 another gem

I know I got the crap beat out of me often as a kid but I was a brat, so .... ?? My older sister, had the parental units figured so she was the "angel". Later told me she was stressed that she had to go through everything "first" so I can't imagine that was fun.

Next sister #3 was just as placid as could be. A good student, lovely person and well-liked by parental units.

Next # 4 was a stronger personality - goofy and brash at times like me but less of a devil and didn't push the envelope like I did. Parents never really 'got her'. I can still tell that they love her of course but don't really understand her because she is much quieter than I am.

Last # 5 was a moodier version of #3. Nice, gentle, quiet person. Given that we all adored her we spoiled her to pieces growing up and am surprised she wasn't ruined when growing into adulthood. We still spoil her but she is the sweetest thing.

Parents say they didn't treat us differently and, in general, that may be true. However, whichever of us demanded the most attention probably got it (read: me) whether the attention be good or bad.

All siblings tell me that I am mothers favorite. I certainly wasn't when growing up - she used to kill me and I hated her back then but now that I've matured we chat all the time about anything and everything. She was oldest and only girl but her family situation was very unusual so she did not get raised by her mother, was raised by grandmother instead with her aunts/uncles (who she grew up believing were her sisters/brothers). Dad was middle child of lots of brothers/sisters. He was very placid and easygoing man and showed all of us the same attention. No difference from #1 to #5.

I'm 3rd of 4 - the other middle in my family is the only boy. So, I figure I'm the middle-middle. I know my parents tried hard to treat us as equally as possible. We 4 were born between January '65 and June '70 - 5.5 years. We were all teenagers for some chunk of time. It's almost like the birth-order conventions aren't as obvious under those circumstances.

#1 sister is the most successful of the pack of us. #1 was the first grandchild on both sides of the family until my brother came along a year later. She is the most self-secure. She makes more than the rest of us combined, by far. And, soon, all three of us others will have master's degrees and she'll still make more than us. She has a big house and a boy and a girl. Two cars.... yadda yadda.

#2 brother is gay which puts a whole different spin on things, to some degree. He and I are sometimes scarily alike. We are both friendly enough, but hard to get close to romantically. We're independent and seem to be living mostly just on the safe side of financial sufficiency. Bro and I are both single, but he's been in a great relationship for quite some time now.

#4 sister is more emotional than the rest of us. She was traditionally the most insecure, but that may be changing as she ages. She has had wicked inferiority issues with her older sisters, especially #1. She has a good marriage with a financially successful man and is now handling her 4-month old baby full-time.

Given all that, we are far more alike - all of us - than different.

Yes I am a middle child - but I did have another sibling that was a middle child (there are 4 of us). I actually think we were all treated differently - perhaps equally, but differently. I think are children are treated differently and should as all children are different. Ironically my oldest brother always felt he was not paid attention to as much as the rest of us and felt neglected. He was always getting into trouble. My parents actually gave him more attention and they as adults admit to it - he required it in a sense.

My youngest brother also got lots of attention - quite possibly because of us the older siblings gave it to him too and my dad had more free time when he was young. I don't resent it - it simply is the way it was. I got some different attention being a girl and my other middle brother got special attention from my grandmom (he was always her favorite). I resented that attention the most, but as an adult I look at it as a positive experience for the both of them.

I did have another twist too as I was the only girl. I don't have a middle child so I can't vouch for that.