'The Onion' Produces Special Iraq Issue

'The Onion' Produces Special Iraq Issue
By E&P Staff
Published: March 25, 2007

The satirical newspaper The Onion is out with a special issue this week, "The War in Iraq: Celebrating Four Years of Winning."

The top hed reads: "Bush Announces Iraq Exit Strategy: 'We'll Go Through Iran.'"

Other stories include: "Gen. Tommy Frank Quits Army To Pursue Solo Bombing Projects," "Report: More U.S. Soldiers Suffering From Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder," and "U.S. To Give Every Iraqi $3,544, Let Free-Market Capitalism Do the Rest."

Then there's "Humor in Uniform Submissions at All-Time Low."

An Op-Ed piece declares support for the war but not the troops: "Need I remind the reader that it is our flag, not the troops, that we salute? It is our nation-state, not a bunch of 20-year-olds in parachute pants, that deserves our allegiance.... I support the occupation, and the occupation alone, because when we start to support the troops, we pave the way for irrelevant concerns about their families back at home. Before you know it, questions about who is and isn't going to be home in time for Christmas will be interfering with the crucial decision-making process of our commander-in-chief.

I'd like to ask those currently trumpeting their support for the troops a question: Have you ever actually met any of these soldiers in person? Well, I have, and believe me, they are no more impressive than any other low-level functionary of a large institution."

Read the issue:
http://www.theonion.com/content/