Stupid is as stupid does

I think it's a portrait of Dan Adenoid . . . Drink Up Shriners ! ! !

I saw someone accidently spit on my car while it was parked. I went up to the clown and his group of about 8 people and flipped out on the fool. I PITY THE FOOL WHO SPITS ON MY RIDE!

I PITY THE FOOL!








I like eggs.

OK, so according to all of you wise people I should:

A. Hit the car.
B. NEVER EVER hit the car.
C. Spit on the car.
D. NEVER EVER spit on a car.
E. Toss an egg or two.

I think I'll make a little addition to my handbag, with little compartments for raw eggs -- no need to refrigerate them, since it's all the better if they're rotten, but need to make sure they stay intact, y'know. Then I can just reach in there and whammo!! That'll teach 'em.

Eggs are instant fun.

Meat is better though....

Cravens avatar has a FEZ though.SO cool,Craven.

Soz, if you take an old-fashioned, glass-lined thermos bottle, and break the eggs into it, they will keep for quite a while, and will fall out handily in single servings into a bowl or skillet, if poured carefully like hot coffee. Old country boy's camping trick.

Sentana...what you talkin' bout?

She be speakin of throwin the eggs, not cooking them, foo!

C'mon...get with it. One more comment like that and you're on timeout.

Get a grip, ego boy, pour one a them suckers out into a large serving spoon, and it can be flipped across a street or parking lot with the accuracy of a pistol . . .

So, sozobe is now going to carry the magic bottomless purse, filled with not only snacks for the sozlet but also eggs for nasty drivers.

Hope ya don't confuse the two by accident, and toss Cheerios at nasty drivers.

heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee . . .

a great deal of humor can derive from pragmatism . . .

Cheerios may not be so good, but a carton of milk chucked at the windshield is almost as nasty as eggs. The nasty driver then has the opportunity to go to work and tell his co-workers: "Guess what? I just got lait-d."

Castor and Pollux blow me to Bermuda - that man has too much time on his brain....

That be a long blow Deb!

...or give her a rotten egg for a snack...

spitting. hmmmmmmmm. i can spit pretty d@ng good for a girl-person. hmmmmm. i still like whackin' the cars better though. especially if i can give them a few seconds of thinking they hit me. they can only pray they wore underwear.

I'm sufficiently ill-tempered that, if i find myself legally in the crosswalk, and someone comes to close, i intentionally stand in front of them to make them stop--the i proceed. Could get me killed some day, but it hasn't yet. However, when i jaywalk, i figure i'm takin' my own chances, and i time the traffic so as to cross safely. About once in every five occasions on which i do this, some idiot stops to let me cross--i wave them on, but they usually give me a smile, and wave me across. HEY LADY, I TIMED THIS BASED ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT EVERYONE WOULD GO ABOUT THEIR DRIVING BUSINESS--ARE YOU TRYIN' TO GET ME KILLED ! ! ! Bloody idjits . . .

That post from Denmark made me grin.

Its one of the few things I can never get used to when I go to Germany. Except for in Berlin, people wait at the red light. They even look at you admonishingly if you start walking, already.

Nowadays I'm training myself to be polite and adapt, you know, cross-cultural and all, but I have to literally, physically stop myself - find myself putting a feet on the tarmac, retreating it: 'you're in Germany, nimh!'

<shakes head>

I saw the funniest thing in Amsterdam a while ago, near Central Station. Newspapers had been talking of how 'more should be done' - you know the thing - dont know if that had something to do with it. There was a flock of cops there, and they were stopping bicyclists. The cyclists would stop politely, wondering what in heavens name these cops could want to ask them about. Some check on something? Info on local traffic? What could it be? Then you could suddenly see smoke coming from their ears as their expression froze in disbelief - the cop had just told them he was going to fine them - for crossing through the red light!

Twas a funny scene, I stopped to watch it for a while. The utter bewilderment on the faces, at being stopped for such a thing - fined for it! Had the world gone mad?

Only place in Europe I felt like I was coming home, that way, was in Tirana. I mean, Italy's pretty rule-sceptic, 'f course. But in Tirana, people dont even look, before they cross the street. Anywhere. Anytime.

I dont know whether its cause until a few years ago, there werent any cars in Albania (except for the party elite), or whether it signalled a complete surrender to the belief in a higher being. You just step off the sidewalk, one direction or another, and start walking. The cars will take care of themselves - theyre used to circumnavigating each other in random and impulsive ways across the chockful and potholed (or unpaved) streets, anyway.

Funny thing about cars in Albania was, the numberplates. They'd be from all over the ******* place. (This was in '99). The trade in stolen cars is pretty brisk, you know, and its mostly the Albanians' dominion, as far as I know. There were cars with numberplates from Germany, Italy, Holland, Austria - anything. Course, the 'special import' was complemented by the second-hand cars that were bought from the scrapmarket in the West and never registered at the (probably non-existent) government institution where, in other countries, you'd normally get your numberplate from, and the vans and the like that'd been given as charity to local NGOs. Vans with the ads for "the freshest bread in Pretzelsdorf, Baden-Wurtemmburg", or "Call 0135-224576 to have your windows replaced anywhere in the Munich area" still on them. Funny.

One anecdote, might be an urban myth, was about why so many of the cars in Albania, especially in the beginning, were Mercedeses. (I think it was Mercedes.) Thing is, under Hoxha, noone except for the top functionaries of the Party owned a car. And the Party had an exclusive contract, apparently, with Mercedes. (No Volga's in Albania - relations with the Soviets werent that hot.) So, when the new era dawned and people could get to buy their own car (kinda) - they all wanted Mercedes. ;-)

I don't know what y'all are talking about, but this last bit is something that drives me crazy in Seattle. People in most of the neighborhoods are slaves to that light. Only walk when green, not when red, even when there are no cars in sight.

On the other hand, if it's just a crosswalk with no light, they just step right out into traffic, confident that they will be protected from collision by their lawfully granted right-of-way. And many to most people will stop if they even suspect somebody might step into the crosswalk, even when they give no clear indication that they are going to. (I can sometimes be seen furiously waving at people to move on when I am just standing by the roadside, hands in pockets, leaning on a lamppost, without the slightest intention of walking. (Waving with your hands in your pockets is a skill that requires much practice, by the way.))

Speaking of German exactitude, I happened to find myself in Bremen a few August's ago, on a Sunday, when pretty much everything in town was shut down, for my first night in a hotel in 18 or 19 days. No restaurants or stores were open, everybody seemed on vacation, and, in myt desparation, I did that thing that brings shame to American tourists around the world: I went into a McDonalds. This is something I will never even do stateside, though I will occasionally pop into Burger King or Jack in the Box to nurse a hangover. Anyway, they've got lines on the cups there, and these lines establish the maximum capacity of the cup. Now, over here we just fill it right up to the rim, so I guess we're a bit reckless. The gf and I were amused to find that both of our cups were filled exactly to that line, about half an inch below the rim of the cup. The room was bemusing and overpriced, to, and we fled the country the following morning. I do love Munich, though.