Is Anyone Flawless?

Flawless people piss me off.



What do you make of that?

Well, I've never met a flawless person so...I can't say?

My oldest sister once observed that we cannot see faults in others that we don't already possess ourselves. I used her words against her once and it really pissed her off. I sorta enjoyed that. Does that mean that I am flawed?

Altho' I think we all are flawed in some way or another, all you did was throw her words back in her face.
And got a kick out of it.

I'll be back.

I am flawless. you must meet me sometime. it'll be enriching for you. i say this in all modesty of course.

of course bear.

Me, me, I'm flawless!! Unless you count all those goddam flaws of mine.

Anyway, I always find this to be true, eoe. I suspect I'm guilty of this too, sigh, although it's certainly harder to catch it when you're doing it yourself than when others do it! And I had the same experience Letty mentions-- my mom told me she notices this phenomenon, yet constantly exemplfies it herself, without noticing. <tee hee>

BTW, I love your makeover, eoe!

Thanks kitty!

So far, those that have commented on the theory tend to believe it. Interesting...

Im not so sure I believe it.

Rude people are rude wether YOU ( the person they annoy) are rude or not.

Drama queens.. same thing

just because someone has a trait that bothers you, does not mean you posses it yourself to the point of it being a 'flaw'.

Frankly, everyone is capable of being a drama queen, an ignorant racist, and even an all around ass...., Of course we are going to see it on others.

it is only when it ( their behavior) is out side of your comfort zone is it a problem .

I put a slightly different spin on it (but unfortunately I don't have an elegant delivery):

When we are puzzled by someone else's behaviour, we will generally satisfy ourselves by ascribing our own characteristics or morals to the other person. Does that sentence make sense? There have been times, in my life, when I have been held blameless for some deed, not because of facts, but because the behaviour doesn't fit with the judging person's valuation of me. Or I have been accused of doing something that is outside my powers of imagination, but is obviously within the possibility of the judging person.

Ohhhh, I'm probably just muddling this more and more.

I had a girlfriend who loved to find fault with people then "push their buttons". I feel priviledged that it took her nearly a month to find mine. I broke up with her after about 3 days of button pushing.

Nick, that reminds me of a sort of friend - well, I worked with her, she was hell on wheels, we got along, sort of - who found people's weaknesses and then rode them to hell and gone. Eerie sometimes. Lotta stories there.

On what eoe was saying, or related to it - I had a lightbulb moment once back in my laboratory days. There was a nurse that brought various materials to our lab and stayed around and schmoozed as she knew some of the mds from the clinic. She had this obnoxious breezy queen of the realm attitude that drove me nuts.

Took me a while to see that it was because we had the same behaviour.

Damn. Had a great response to shewolnm's post above but somehow, it was lost.

Anyway, I said that she is on pointe by bringing up the drama queen and the rude boor and being annoyed by this behavior doesn't necessarily mean that these traits are possessed by the annoyed.

I have a very sneaky mind. My parents caught onto it early, thank goodness, and punished me for it until I learned that I couldn't outsmart them and stopped trying. As an adult, I've always tried to live right and stay honest so I never acted on any of the sneaky and devious schemes and thoughts that would come to me out of the blue. But I can see it in others, especially young people, and can smell a scheme or see a plot or an underhanded ploy from several steps ahead.

I've often felt that because I have a devious side, I can see the deviousness in others. But I don't indulge that side of myself at all, still fearing a beatdown from my mother, I guess, altho' she's been gone now for almost six years.

Tico, I suppose you're saying that a person's perception of you will come into play here somewhere but I'm not quite sure where.

Osso, interesting story about the breezy nurse. Do you feel that the theory is correct?

how about this

you know how it's been said that we are attracted to certain people because we see something in their character that we admire and wish to learn more about? To enhance within our own selves?
Well maybe the reverse of that has something to do with us seeing what we consider 'flaws' in others. And maybe we know something about those flaws because we share their blue-print - so we're irritated because we don't want to be influenced by that person. Maybe in some way we feel threatened.Irritation and fear/stress often go together after all.

I'm very irritated by both the concept and standard of television. To me, its biggest flaw (ithin the character of what it delivers)is ignorance and that is something I do fear in me.

I suspect there are many reasons why we feel irritated by the flaws around us. It makes me feel flawed just trying to write this.


Going back to seeing our own flaws in others, I spend a lot of my life being irritated with myself.

Am I seeing the flaws in me, in me?

sounds like a song

Miz Wolf, that's interesting...of course, it's not a hard and fast rule, if something bothers you in others, you do it yourself. It just seems to happen fairly often.

The examples you mention-- drama queen, rudeness-- maybe it's easier with concrete ideas, like, "It's rude to pick your nose in public, and I hate it when people do it." Well, someone with that as a personal rule probably isn't going to pick their nose in public, and they'd know it if they did-- it's not a trait you'd have and not realize you had.

But with a more subtle thing-- "It bothers me when people remember an event wrongly, so that they come off looking better," for example-- it's harder to pick up on if that's something you actually do yourself. I think that's often the kind of thing that it happens with. I know someone who often mentions how so-and-so annoys her because they "re-write history." Well, you'll never guess who else does that! She, of course, doesn't for a minute think she does it.

hmmmm....
I started a thread some time ago about a relative who annoys me by re-writing history.
I know you're not talking about me?

Hee hee...I'm hitting unexpectedly close to home, eh?


Actually, I was wondering as I wrote it if almost all of us go around thinking, "Boy, everybody's always re-writing history except ME!!"