National Myths-Stereotypes

Lucky you're not Chinese, guy. You'd have to figure out how to be stupid and clever - at the same time.

Since no one (but Roger) replies, I'll keep up, with a twist.

Myths and stereotypes about Mexicans from other regions (as seen from Mexico City -Chilangos):

Northerners

Northerners are stingy.
Northerners read appliance manuals, but never a book.
Northerners are wannabe Texans.
Northerners are male chauvinists.
Northerners envy Chilangos, because we have the political power.

Northwesterners

Northwesterners do not reach abstraction. "Cow", "truck" is their highest level of abstraction.
Northwesterners are wannabe Californians.
Northwesterners eat nothing but meat & shrimp. Just like the Neanderthals.
There's a sign in the border between Nayarit and Sinaloa: "Here culture stops and Fried Meat starts".
Northwesterners envy Chilangos, because we have culture.

Westerners

Guadalajara males are either footballers, mariachis or homosexuals (or any combination of the three).
Their brand of nationalism is outdated & catholic.
They know only one sport: soccer.
Westerners envy Chilangos, because we are cool.


Bajío region

People on the Bajío region are all "mochos" (religious zealots).
Girls on the Bajío region got to be in bed by 9... so they can be home by 11.
Some are wannabe Westerners; the others are wannabe Chilangos. They envy both.


Gulf region

People on the Gulf region are lazy. All they do is stretch an arm while in the hammock, and the banana falls on their hand.
People on the Gulf region are always talking politics. It's part of their not working.
They talk so much about politics, they honestly think Veracruz is the center of the world.
Veracruz and Tabasco were given all the gifts of nature by God. When God realized he was being unfair, he filled those lands with Veracruzanos and Tabasqueños. The richest states are among the poorest.
People on the Gulf region envy Chilangos because they are rich, but do not envy Northerners: they are rich... but they work.


South

Southerners are violent. They'd kill you for nothing, specially in Guerrero.
Oaxacan women are all witches.
There are more Oaxacans in California or Texas or the outskirts of Mexico City than in Oaxaca.
The South should seek independence. Mexico should grant it, but keep the highway to Acapulco and the Costera street. Southerners would still be our waiters and move their belly in search of a peso.
Southerners envy Chilangos, because we have water and electricity and don't go killing each other.


Southeast

Southeastern people are peaceful. Only they won't let you live.
They're short and have gigantic heads.
They believe every lie they are told. They are very stupid.
They are separatists. We couldn't care less.
They think they're cool because they have their own beers and their own sodas, but they're awful (though not as bad as Northwestern beers).
Southeasterns envy Chilangos, because -unlike those from other regions of the country- Southeasterners do not have the brains to make a joke about us.








... waiting for Pantalones and pohl to make their appearance.

Have a crack at aussies mate.

I didn't reply, but I am listening...

Blimey, I have never learned so much about the world in such a short time.


I can only think of two immediately.


Sydneysiders are up themselves.


Jewish men are good lovers.

Aussies

Australians are sports junkies. They're gigantic and strong. Logical, they descend from some surviving convicts.
Australians are environment freaks. Like not letting you use suntan in the beach.
If you decide to move to Australia, they'll give you some land in the outback for free, but with no electricity, no running water, nothing.

Jews

Jews care about money more than anything else in their lives.
Jewish women don't fake orgasms, but wear fake jewelry.
Jewish men are committed to sex, even if they don't always enjoy it.
If you want a jew to help you, tell him you're also Jewish.

They are hilarious!


Is that suntan LOTION? I wonder where that came from.

Suntan lotion... baaad for the sea.

I think it stems from the old days of baby oil spray booths. before we got onto skin cancer/melanoma.

Belgians are dumb. Kind, but a little... slow in the head.
Belgians are forever involved in some opaque corruption, conspiracy or child sex scandal (or preferably a combination of all), that always links up high into unnamed government circles.
Belgians love the good life, have long and copious business lunches and rich-tasting dinners. (See also: the French)

Germans are loud, authoritarian, and crude-mannered.
And fat.
But they're also kind of obedient, goodie-two-shoes. They stop for red lights. They're a bit behind on fashion and style, wearing lots of dark-blue jeans.
Germans are strong, but not too smart.
Germans always dig holes on the beach to lie in, for some reason.

The English are very funny.
The English are trendy and hip.
The English are uncouth hooligans.
The English drink a lot and scour the streets in packs of young men.
The English talk easily and make for a good time in the pub.
The English are rarely very passionate - except about the footie.
The English have a stiff upper lip and dont show much emotion.

(Stereotyopes about the English are starkly contradictory, and thats mostly a class thing.)

The Dutch are all potheads. Even the old ones.

Pourquoi ne faut-il pas conter les blagues aux Belges les vendredis?

Pour qu'ils ne risent pas pendant la messe.

******************************

Deux Belges, en vacances, sont allés en France pour aller à la plage. Mais ils voient une affice qui dit "Pad de Calais," et puis, ils rentrent.

Hello, front desk?

Send two Cuban women to my room immediately!

very interesting fbaezer.

here's some stereotypes I've heard/picked up re: Mexicans...


They will steal anything not tied down
The men are domineering to their woman
The woman are passive/agressive
All the men cheat on their wives/girlfriends
They will call every relative to find out information, rather than in a direct way.

[fighting to keep hands away from keyboard]

Aggghhhh! I can't stop!!!


And you know,

They say that Shaft is a baaaaaaaaaaaad motherfu......

Chilangos don't talk, they sing the words. (¿Quiiiiuuuuuuubo mi chavo?)
Chilangos don't know English except for words like 'broder' which they use to seem cooler. When they sing songs in English they just repeat the sound as best as they can.
Chilangos think they are better than the rest of the mexicans.
About half of Chilangos' cars are old VW beetles.

Mexico City is so insecure you can't walk anywhere without being assaulted.

LOL
Reminded me of a friend during my teens. He sang, trying to imitate Jim Morrison: "You know that bizembeeran too, you know that bizembeeran lyro, if I wassan saying you, girl we bizembeeran hyro... come'on baby lyro-fyro, come'on serenado fyrooo!".

Oh, and we don't wanna speak English like natives.
We're not wannabe Californians!

People from Tijuana are "pochos", they can't speak proper Spanish:
"Hey brader, léndame un babi-pin!"
"Wacha ese bookcito, está bien psycho!"
"Aparkó la troka dos blockes lejos de la marketa"

Los pochis de California
no saben comer tortilla,
sólo ponen en la mesa
su pan con su mantequilla

Great stuff, fbaezer, nimh too !! I would add some more If I thought I could match your style.