Two things about nimh

Good thinking, farmer!

... & it'd be a terrific distraction from politics, nimh!
Hell, that's what depresses all of us! :wink:

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farmerman wrote:

Hows it going? By now, you should feel the stirrings of the seasonal turn-around. I have an idea, after the new year go down to an art academy and enroll in a sketch or watercolor class. Youll find lotsa great women , all you have to do is set up your stuff next to different ones each week .

Or you could set one up near the same bird each week, somewhere where you can watch her every move and she can't see you without turning awkwardly. Never talk to her. That's important. No talking -- but give her a long, knowing look every time as you pack up your stuff to leave. Oh, and be really secretive about what you're painting. Chicks dig that kind of stuff.

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(Y'know I agree with you, Farmer...)

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Hello again everyone.

I tend to drift in and out of this thread at irregular intervals. That involves leaving kind and cute posts that were posted here in gentle concern unanswered for odd lengths of time. Please ne haragudj, nimm es mich nicht uebel, accept my apologies. Its .. hmmm. I think its kinda because, you know, with this thread I opened a sort of vulnerable roadsection, and not always when I go driving I'm up to facing the bumps and potholes or the shadows streaking past in the curves. Too confronting, sorta.

But herewith, then, a belated thank you to little k, pdog, 2Packs, Stray Cat, dadpad, and, of course, tryingtohelp - and all the previous posters whom I hadnt yet thanked by name.

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_Heatwave_ wrote:

Hi, nimh:
You won't know me, I'm more of a 'reader' on A2K, than a 'writer.' A very long time ago, you had written me some advice on a particularly distressful thread of mine. I remember being so comforted by what you had written, and being struck by your kindness and humanity. Since then, whenever I see that you have posted on a thread, I make sure to read it. I truly think that you are one of, if not the most attractive person to me personally on this forum. I've always wondered what you look like, and now I know. Can I just say that you are totally hot! You have *such* a Jakob Dylan look about you - and I wouldn't push him out of bed.

Bye now...this post is completely out of character for me because I'm generally a shy person!

Dear _Heatwave_! Your post must have been the sweetest, and the sweetest surprise, in a long line of kind posts. I didnt know, and I'm so glad, you think so kindly of me.

And also, I'm really Smile

that you think I'm hot too. Perhaps that even more. Hey, its what this whole thread was about, after all. I'm mighty chuffed. <s>

Thank you, thank you for coming out of shy readerdom to post such a caress of a post. Its thoughtful and at the same time tempting. Perfect. <smiles>

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tryingtohelp wrote:

I decided I am not going to hide behind an avatar anymore. I am going to be me, faults and all. I am still going to care about things, I am not changing for anyone.

You go, girl! Seriously. I'm guessing that must have been a brave enough step, and brave steps have a virtue of themselves by definition.

Also, you've perhaps formulated the whole challenge of life, getting older, there, in two sentences. How to get yourself to keep caring, keep being open, feeling, vulnerable too - and at the same time, establish the foothold or sturdiness to be able to say, in complete autonomy, I'm who I am and thats who I'm going to be? To not care, even, anymore?

Cause that is what one needs to do, I'm sure - the combination. And there's plenty who fail: some who become whom others want them to be, fitting in roles and patterns, and many who become hardened, building a wall around their inner self.

tryingtohelp wrote:

I have often thought of how you feel and the fact that you even say it. Most guys do not or will not say their true feelings. To me you are unique. [..] I do not see talking about your feelings as a weakness. I see it more as a sign of strength especially in our society.

You actually are going out on a limb and doing something society as a whole has condemned. You have an inner strength and that is where I find the attractiveness of someone.

Thank you very much. I (can only) hope that there will be this (small?) minority of women who do look at it that way. Who dont find it a turn off if a man isn't just insecure - he actually even (at the same time) openly talks about it too - who see that that, in itself, shows courage, of some sort, in a man, itself. Thats all I can hope to appeal to, I suppose.

Oh, and dont worry about being "new" (on this board)! You have as much place to say something as anyone else, and its definitely appreciated as much too. <nods>

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flushd wrote:

Happy holidays, hottie. Cyber is right on about the photos. What she said. [..] you really are looking good! Age is kind to you, indeed.

Thankee ... Embarrassed

You're too kind.

Or no, actually, you're exactly kind the right way - its true, I admit, this is why I started this thread Embarrassed

Thanks, girl.

I think you're pretty hot too - and thats just from reading your posts. Imagine.

flushd wrote:

Me too, I find that I look like a friggin goof ball when I am smiling - my mouth is big (could have guessed that, right?) and my smile is super gummy.

Yet, I get compliments on my silly smile all the time. So whether I really am looking goofy or not - it makes people smile anyhows, and that is good enough for me now.

Yep. I have gotten plenty compliments about the big, everpresent smile too, even from total strangers. At the same time I have no doubt that it's turned off equal numbers of people.

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OK, more later, tomorrow.

In the meantime tho, I gotta add that I did have a new years eve that brought me into some better spirits.

I know, its just new years eve and all that - but still, feels like a good start of the new year Smile

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It's nice to see you feeling a bit better.

Couldn't help but notice your conversation on another thread. It made me think about the event you mentioned, pages back, that kind of exacerbated things. Wondered if it was the same.

I could be completely wrong, of course, but if I'm right, I'm curious if talking (writing) about it, helped. Robbed it of some of the sting, if you know what I mean. Me, I think it likely. I sure hope so.

Anyway, I'll leave it. I nearly let it go unremarked, but sometimes it's nice to be noticed. Hope this is one of those times.

Happiest New Year ever, nimh.

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Hey, your new year's sounds great! With kissing and everything, you sly dog...

You've gotta be feeling a bit perked up by that, right? I mean, that's at least some reassurance that real live people find you attractive, not just message board semi-strangers. I always found that it goes in streaks, you know, a dry spell followed by having lots of people interested for a while, etc-- so hopefully this will mark the beginning of an uptick in the dating department, eh? (And if you get a bit of a confidence boost from it, that's certainly going to help with attitude and with attracting others.)

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Good that you doing better, nimh! (I pm'ed you a link, btw, some time ago).

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JoeBlow, yes, same event - though in the post you read on the other thread, I was doing a lot of downplaying. Downplaying the context of the remark, what happened around it, and who the girl in question was (not just an old friend..). Dont know about whether writing helped. I wrote her, though, and she wrote back - that kinda sorta helped. But no, not really.

Cypher, thank yoouu ... and dry spells, well this one's been lasting too long. Been here almost two years now, and apart from the two wonderful times I spent with A, a late-night indulgence with two old friends - none of the above here in Hungary - there's been nought but the occasional kiss; two-three times with a friend/flirt early this year and once way back in the summer before last. All of the above Dutch or American - who knows whats up with Hungarian women? Not me, anyhow - though yes, its true I'm in a little better mood about that now ;-)

Walter, yes - it was about my employer, right? They tend to send round all the press/media stuff with him on the organisation's mailinglist; I must admit I dont read much of it - but I'll look this one back up. Things are changing in our program - there's nothing wrong with the organisation as a whole, its expanding, but our program is suddenly (and unexpectedly) in a precarious situation. I'll be safe here through 2007, but after that, its all uncertain. Which sucks because I really want to stay.. better make the best of this year, in any case, eh? ;-)

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cyphercat wrote:

Mkay, I've tracked down where you posted photos of you through the years on the picture gallery thread, and I see that you have a big smile, and I can understand that you look at photos of you grinning and you see goofiness. You're too hard on yourself, of course; other people just see an open and friendly smile, but i can understand where you're coming from.

Yes. Apart from the downright insane-looking toothy laugh, there's the creepy Tony Blair grin, that looks like it was stylised for some leaflet photo, but has just tipped over into just straight eekiness. Yeah, like with Blair.

cyphercat wrote:

But when I finally saw myself on videotape, I was kind of astounded to see that (dare I say it) I looked-- okay, I'm gonna say it-- great. Yes, great, damn it, shut up you mean voices in my head! (I have a very hard time saying anything good about myself.)

Ha, you so sound like me. Smile

Really. We must be lost twins somewhere.

Half full, half empty.. you and me both have these voices telling us how ugly or stupid we look, and they really get up our (expletive)s - and at the same time, we also do have the ability to recognize them as a bad thing, and that, probably, things aint half as bad as we really do feel they are - and sometimes, we even catch a glance of ourselves that involuntarily makes us think, hey, thats actually pretty cool. Confidence despite ourselves, almost.

I had an example or two of that when I got round to making some more pics of myself, too, with this new cameraphone - and if I'm really, really, really brave I might post those too. Embarrassed

patiodog wrote:

People usually think I'm stoned when I'm not.

Which doesn't give one much of an incentive to not be stoned, eh?

Hehheh.

Coupla years back, I was just sitting somewhere minding my own business, I dunno - perhaps on a square enjoying the sun, perhaps at a long wooden table out on a terrace, perhaps who knows where - and this guy who had sat down next to me looked at me and, as an unusual way to strike up a conversation, observed: "I bet you take a lot of drugs eh?" Laughing

WTF?

OK, so he was kinda sorta a little right (though not in any definition of "a lot" I'd agree with), but still! Made me laugh tho.

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farmerman wrote:

I have an idea, after the new year go down to an art academy and enroll in a sketch or watercolor class. Youll find lotsa great women , all you have to do is set up your stuff next to different ones each week .

Hmm.. Farmer - and Msolga - I'm not really the kind for organised activity, kinda, I've learnt.

I mean, like - what people usually recommend: do some volunteer work! Join a club! Do a course! Its not that I dont see the point of volunteer work, and I've done it if I thought the work important or just enjoyed it. And its not that I dont wanna learn things, though its true I prefer learning by myself than in the scheduled constraints of a class course.

But apart from the time I was a volunteer barman (and with the exception of meeting A. and a Polish girl who briefly was a lover through the work I did for a Balkan aid volunteer network), courses, volunteer work and other such scheduled activities have just not ... well, the other people always seemed to be ... well, not my type. Very serious, rather straightforward - a little boring, perhaps. Or perhaps very focused on one thing, where's I'm more of the many eclectic superficial interests ;-).

An art class could be different, its true. I did earn some extra money as a nude model at the local art academy when I was a student, and the people always seemed cool (though for understandable reasons I tried not to pay that too much attention ;-)). I cant draw for shite tho, but Cs did a photography course and its true, the coupla people we met that were classmates of her seemed pretty interesting. Hmmm. Ive just so far found that the whole class and community thing has always been kinda dry fishing for me when it comes to meeting friends (let alone more).

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nimh wrote:

Yes. Apart from the downright insane-looking toothy laugh, there's the creepy Tony Blair grin, that looks like it was stylised for some leaflet photo, but has just tipped over into just straight eekiness. Yeah, like with Blair.

Nimh, I can only assume if I met Tony Blair, any appraisal of his looks would soon fade to obscurity as I began to recognize his brilliance. I have every reason to expect the same with you.

You look quite a bit like a friend of mine who is the unlikely combination of reserved quietness, mosh pit enjoying, highly intelligent, pot smoking, tattoo and book enthusiast. He's highly skilled and under paid, worries often about his appearance (though you'd never know it by his unique style), yet scores frequently with very desirable ladies. I continue to wonder if your concerns aren't exasperated due to success-assessment with extraordinary women.

Have you measured your relative attractiveness against your peer's in consideration of what they find attractive? During infrequent ponderings regarding my own not infrequent social droughts; I find my standards are mostly to blame and I am quite comfortable with that.

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Hey, Nimh, did you notice all the flirting that women used to do with me on A2K when I first came on here? And did you notice how quickly it stopped after pictures of me got posted on this site? What a coincidence, huh? I'm an ugly ****. And I'm not even smart, like you, so quit yer bitchin'!

Damn, I'm a bitter f*cker today.

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kickycan wrote:

Hey, Nimh, did you notice all the flirting that women used to do with me on A2K when I first came on here? And did you notice how quickly it stopped after pictures of me got posted on this site? What a coincidence, huh? I'm an ugly ****. And I'm not even smart, like you, so quit yer bitchin'!

Damn, I'm a bitter f*cker today.

Oh my gosh, we have to have a comfort Kicky thread now too?! Really, that sounds so off to me, I swear I still see you being flirted with all the time... Confused

I think your imagination is running away with you...

Nimh, I still think maybe you should consider a drawing or photography class. I've taken tons of art classes at the local community college; first off, there were always lots (probably about half the people there, really, at least in lower division classes) of people just taking drawing for fun, socializing, etc, who obviously had never drawn before. No big deal.

I get what you're saying about the women there not being your cuppa, but wouldn't that be true in lots of social venues? At least this would be a new bunch of people. And the girl-to-guy ratio is always good in art classes, too! Smile

You could always sign up for one and go for a few weeks and then drop it if it just doesn't seem interesting.

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Don't worry about me. I am comfortable with my hideousness. Most of the time. If I need a comfort thread, don't worry, I'll start one. I've never been shy about tossing out my most personally embarrassing thoughts and ideas.

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kickycan wrote:

I'm an ugly ****.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v637/gwenz/gifjes/kiss.gif

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Aw, thanks, Gwen (May I call you Gwen?). That is sweet.

I was gonna ask if you might want to make out, but I'm just not in the mood. That was a nice thing you just posted anyway.

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Two things about nimh

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