dream interpretation?

hey, ci!

damn - all these things are coming back. I mean, names - memories.

for the record, I haven't been lurking. and by that, I honestly would mean "reading to keep up"- because I DO feel a connection with you guys. but I'm an egoist. I can't read and not say something. <g>

I started reading again on the 4th - that was my nana's birthday - and IS my cousin Jason's daughter, Autumn's. (which apparently is important, but not the reason I checked in <g>)

Alot has happened since I was a very vibrant, aware and curious and creative member of abuzz - I've been going through serious personal issues, and rather enjoying the challenge, apparently - because I really am content to go at hem at my own pace. carefully, cuz it's scary.

(I DO believe, to be honest, that I revived THIS thread to reintroduce myself to the community. <s>)

ANYWAY, thanks, c.i. - that's what I was wanting. I'm looking now.

staz

who's always felt like some kind of whore (no - it's OK - it just IS! <s>) - so she thought she would try selling her analysis ... and now you guys are helping.

But I want to let you know. The reason I'm back now is because I felt supported before - I think this is a great community. Support does not always equal agreement. Support, to me, means helping a person to grow. I got that here from the fights I had, as well as from the people who encouraged my rants and digressions. It's the rants and digressions I'm trying to capture now - and I've started a blog, too - to give me a space where I can turn off the comments .... <s> so I can just have my say. that's my website. I wonder if any of you recognize the old anastasia in the writing?

for those who have NOT met me before ... hi. <s> I ask questions that get you thinking. that's one of the things I'm for. but I am ALSO a sensitive little bitch.

and I AM one of the sharpest crayons in the box, incidentally. I back things up with sarcasm and opinion - just my opinion, not facts to support it. I exagerate, and I say REALLY stupid ****, and one of my heroes right now is eminem - mostly because he is the one person in the world I feel relates to my story - so I relate to his music.

emotionally, I'm in a very raw place - I am immature and growing, and what I need is ... people who are just themselves an allow me to be myself.

and that's one of the things that attracted me about abuzz ... which is why I came over to a2k ... and I don't usually do that .... I usually go off in another direction.

without telling anyone.

heheh.

so ... this is me.

by the way - i have a new photo - can someone make it avatar size for me? i'll check pms - but please leave an email. (it's not my computer, and it doesn't have the software ... <g>)

thx

It's always weird when these threads are revived, and I have zero memory of what I might have said at the time, or if I said anything, and then I see my avatar and I'm like "hey", and read it and it's just what I'm thinking now... It would seem to stand to reason but somehow it's comforting. Me and myself, separated at birth... :-)

A new thought, maybe it's about possibilities? All the places your life could have gone at various points, and hasn't? And maybe (if you go there), something about seeing one of those possibilities through, not "wasting" it?

Oh an ehBeth has recommended irfanview (www.irfanview.com) for resizing, I haven't used it myself. I had Adobe PhotoDeluxe and it rocked and then I got this mac and I STILL haven't been able to make head or tails out of the iPhoto program. Grr.

sozobe, That's funny! I've had my Mac for over two years, and I'm struggling with it - still. I like my windows programs much better, and for me it's much easier to use. My friends who own Macs told me it was much easier than windows, but not for me. I now have four computers. LOL

took a couple posts - made a free-association comment with my head. this is done by not thinking too much, taking in typos, symbolism, and emotional reactions like tears (I'm crying like hell right now, so it worked. <s>) It makes sense to me now. And I know why I had it last night.

this comment came out kinda like a poem, which is cool ...

I've quoted C.I. without acknowledgment - but I DO think it's the "imposter" part that's important. (that's not any personal reference to YOU - everyone in MY dreams is ME, and thi is a kind of dreamstate I can put myself into, like hypnosis. watch:

whiteroom - abandonment
fill it up
industrial - busy
sisters of mercy
songs I walked the streets by
rabbit howls - makes no sound - that's me
white rabbits with no heads
white rabbits with no heads
with no head you can't think
get a head of yourself
get a hold of yourself
french revolution? (guillotine help!) <- no reference here
just read next line
don't see where they fall
"fact" - my opinion
the fact that they're more useful if they're not used for food

The first thought that came to mind was dlowan, but Craven already used that. Hmmmmm..... You know, restaurants do serve rabbit meat, and many meat markets sell rabbit. Cutting their head off reduces any suffering. Only one other thing comes to mind about rabbits, and the answer is readily available when anybody visits New Mexico or Arizona. c.i.

first thought - craven - no, that's what other people say (craving - satisfy me, don't teach me)
restaurants and meat markets <nods>
reduces suffering <reads back>
but I don't see why they fall
freudian typo?
I don't see where they fall

The factory: machines, loud and industrial. It usually symbolizes death in life: often associated with dreams of dehumanization.
This one is more clear: a tayloristic slaughterhouse

remember fbaezer <nods>
death in life - goth music - my teenage "home"
I just learned t use SMARTQUOTES!
dreams of dehumanization
alienation
I was in a very bad place
(in my head)

<pause>
<nods>

what is a tayloristic slaughterhouse?
why is that more clear?
is fbaezer still here?

has anyone seen the princess bride?

Animals often mean people, kinds of people. Rabbits are supposed to be innocent
you see i told you
Animals often mean people, kinds of people. Rabbits are supposed to be innocent
<ahem>

They are beheaded: a dehumanizing process makes them loose their mind, or castrates them (if we take the other meaning of "head"), making them loose their independence and potential.

thank you

You can't hear the rabbits screaming, it's a silent process. Yet you worry.
Knew that already - saw the movie ... thought tat's why it was me. I shut myself off - cut everyone off. Stopped expressing myself, because I thought they couldn't take it, but I couldn't stop, because it's NORMAL.

so I killed a rabbit, too.

Perhaps you are worried about some young people, perhaps you're worried about the child in you being eliminated and lost forever.
Just the well-known symbolisms

Oh my god.

I'm a ******* cliche. <g>

Good thing I believe in archetypal significance.

I saw it.

<smiles>

soz, for the record - it was your post that prompted me to go back and look at the others and type this (females put me into action, I am intimidated by them, so I can't talk to them much! LMAO!)

point is ... I'm re-reading your post next. (I am bulletin-board irresponsible, because I do this stuff by intuition, so I hadn't read all the old stuff. <g>)

just NOW realized you were preaching ... thanks for listening. <giggles>

but do you see why I'm intimidated?

girls get PERSONAL!

LMAO!

and are thinking about letting one of those eggs go all the way to kid-dom.


came to the conclusion a while (couple months) ago - that, for me - I had one last abortion (symbolically, in my mind) - and that was after I had been on here - after the last physical one - after I had reacted so badly - and then I went o bratislava - and then I had to make a choice - mother, father, or baby. (baby was me, mother was steve, my ex in LA) - chose for father, out of instinct. rejected mother. never even considered baby.

and I think, actually - that was expressed in the dream, and I realize it because of your preaching. heheh.

thank you.

Was I preaching?

Yecchh. I try not to do that. (But note the "try", I do have tendencies...)

Glad it was helpful...

no, soz - that's why I didn't notice. you weren't using a "preachy voice"- you were expressing your opinions strongly, in an EXTREMELY understated manner. "preachin's just shorthand. you were perfect.

I honestly wasn't trying for opinions, though I'm sure opinions lurk and bubble through all unbidden -- was just squinting and thinking hmmm, what could that mean. Maybe...

"wasting" would be the keyword here, miss preachy ... heheh

A new thought, maybe it's about possibilities? All the places your life could have gone at various points, and hasn't? And maybe (if you go there), something about seeing one of those possibilities through, not "wasting" it?




but ... do YOU know how very apt that is? you're on a roll.

Blame my English degree. :-)

(I'm constantly always looking for meanings, what makes "sense".)

important addendum (important, too, that I left the IMPORTANT part out the first time, I'm sure - I started smoking at 28

and HERE would be that addendum ...

Animals often mean people, kinds of people. Rabbits are supposed to be innocent
you see i told you
Animals often mean people, kinds of people. Rabbits are supposed to be innocent (except smoking ones)
<ahem>

no - I think you're good with semantics. <nods>

I relate to that.

I could be wrong.

I think the smoking rabbit thing means I should have known better. I realize it wasn't in my dream, but that's how I read things. because, really - yeah - I KNOW I should have known better by then. it was totally naive (nd totally necessary) to do what I did, after b'lava.

I was an idealist.

But i was NOT "innocent"

soz, my version of preachy is on the 'weak and tired"thread.

I love that album by anastacia, by the way. is she anything in america, or not?

Nice pic.

I went to bed right after last post here.

Wanted to say that the "wasted" was from your description of the dream, first post, hence the quotes (tho it wasn't direct):



So their killing is a waste.