Lord Ellpus is poorly.

Good to see you back too, hephzibah. Are you sure that you and Lord Ellpus weren't just on a tryst?

There you are! Glad to see you're well enough to check in with us worriers. I hope to hear about a full recovery soon.

What? No Spam?

Good to see you back, LordE <waves>

Ellpus
Ellpus, just learned you haven't been following my advice. I've been telling you for months to stay away from those dreadful British Bangers. But you wouldn't listen---and looked what happened. If you insist on eating those deadly sausages, at least have the good sense to puree them. Then wash them down with a glob of pink Pepto Bismo.

Can't wait for you to regale us with tales of your super human immune system victory.

BBB

Nice to see you back fella. You had us all worried.

He's back!!!

Well, I've now had a belly full of food and am going to sit and watch TV for a while. Feeling much better, and thank you all for your concern.

I went for the down the throat scope, which turned out to be quite an interesting experience really. A spray or two in the back of the throat with a bitter based liquid (s'posed to be banana - Ha!) and two mins later I'm talking like Stallone before he had elocution lessons. I'm then placed onto my side, while strong hands hold the head still, and a large male doctor sees how many times he can make me retch by thrusting a yard or so of black garden hose down my throat.
When he gets it all the way down, he tells me to just concentrate on my breathing, gives me a millisecond to do this and then starts moving the hose round my stomach in an apparent effort to whip up some sort of omelette.
Photos and samples taken, he wrenches the thing all the way out and says "Well, THAT wasn't so bad, was it!"

Five minutes later and I'm now gloating at the newbies as they make their way past my little seated waiting area, where I sip coffee.

I can see fear on their faces, as they look to me for reassurance, but I just pretend to look horrified by the whole experience, and make an extra effort to make my tongue flap spasmodically around outside my face, dribbling slobber down over down my chin.

The Doc says he has taken some tests, including one for piled up helicopter bacterium, (ulcers, apparently) whatever that is. Avian flu, perhaps?

He just winked at the end though, and said everything looked fine...just a little inflamed.

OK....snooze time in front of Stargate SG-1, methinks......

Byeeee. Back later.

Glad to hear you are doing better, ellpus, but sorry to hear about those awful tests!

heliobacter, or something like that - it's the bacterium that has been found to be responsible for a lot of ulcers.

So happy you're back, naughty boy.

Horrible test, outrageous!

Marvellous to see you back!

It's really good to see that those tests didn't do any serious damages ...

(I'm not my experiences I had when they tried to blast me up with a colonoscopy [barrels of air were pumped into me while a camera went miles through my bowel ...])

Just for the records, the little probe thingy that they force down your gullet is a very complicated piece of machinery and quite expensive. So complicated and expensive that most hopitals merely wipe it off and use it to then stick up your ass. (Sometimes they reverse the order of course)

Well, glad youre back and all. No imbedded shrapnel from Gold Beach tough? what?

hehehe, Up to your old tricks, huh?

I'm getting an image.....

Uh oh. Soz has learned to speak Ellpian.

ELLPUS!!! You old badger! I shouldn't have worried so. You're too tough to let this get you!

>patting him gently on shoulder<

It's awfully good to have you back here where you belong. You must take good care of yourself. We cannot do without you, you know. >smooch<

Can I get you anything while I'm up?

How the hell did I miss this thread!!

Sorry to hear you've been under the weather E

Great to read your posts. Well done.

Those were not pleasant tests. When my mother was due for something similar she flatly refused...nearly bit through the fibre optic cable...and a few fingers. They gave up.

The trouble with a chronic ailment is that it keeps resurfacing at inconvenient times.

Hold your dominion.

This explains the disgusting spam all of us A2Kers have been receiving.....

Ellpus done more than just hold it..



What exactly does this expression mean noddy and where does it come from it sounds really quite strange to Brit Englanders (probably not to E though)

Steve--

I had a cousin in my mother's generation who decided that Mary Baker Eddy and the Christian Scientists knew their onions. Most of the family disagreed, but "Hold Your Dominion" a Mary Baker Eddy mantra passed into the family language.

"God has given me dominion over the things of this earth and I intend to hold that dominion."