WHY WE SHOULD INVADE NIGERIA

.

Honestly, invading an African country is much easier because there is no bloodyhell dessert.
Will be done within a couple of hours.

And then, the little black chidren will all wave American flags, drink Coke and eat Big Macs and praise George the Great in the name of Allah.


Ooops - they aren't Muslims, aren't they?

In that case, it would be even more right to go just now...

You just can't be too safe these days.

There's a chance they could build some kind of WMD. I'm not saying just what the chance is, mind you, but there's definitely a chance.

Re: WHY WE SHOULD INVADE NIGERIA


or the ottawa valley, sounds a bit like canada to most accounts (we may not have dangerous terrorists, but i think some us officials think we harbor them)

as an aside, it was funny the other day, press secretary tony snow was explaing the newest tenuous link between sadam and 911, he stated, while sadam may not have been working with a al queda, he was aware they were there and did nothing to stop them, so he was linked to to them

something the same could be said about the 911 hijackers, it seems that the cia was aware that some of them were in the country, even tha tsome of them had been attending flight school, even that some of them had little interest in learning how to land a plane, so by the same reasoning the cia was linked to al queda and is therefore responsible for the attacks as well

Ah, the Brandon School of International Diplomatic Irrational Paranoia . . . you've learned your lessons well, DD, i'm proud of you.

***********************************************

Walter, according to the CIA Factbook entry on Nigeria:

Muslim 50%, Christian 40%, indigenous beliefs 10%

So i have no doubt that they are wild-eyed, dangerous Isalmo-fascists.

I like your thinking, Djjd . . . when i become benevolent dictator of the planet, you'll have a prominent job in what passes for government . . .

I've neither, living in a country with a similar, nearly identical (3% wild-eyed, dangerous Isalmo-fascists) Muslim population.

But we have nearly no oil at all!

Well, in that case, you won't have to worry about an American invasion.

That's the reason, the Americans are closing their garnisons here

Aha. They do have Islamofascists. It's just too obvious, everything.

And then there's Nigeria's negative track record. Apparently, they are still occupying the Bakassi Peninsula. Let me state here, emphatically, that the Bakassi Peninsula must be liberated.

Also, Nigeria has strong ties to and is indeed providing a safehaven for international narcotraffickers. As we all know, narcotraffickers are the terrorists of our days. They are trying to destroy the United States from within. They can't stand the fact that in this country, women are allowed to work and everybody can vote. They despise our way of life.

So in the battle for Nigeria, we must fight for the cause of liberty and for the peace of the world. If we win this battle, our nation will be more secure. Operation Nigerian Freedom will be carried out with a combination of precision and speed and boldness unexpected by the enemy.

From distant bases or ships at sea, we will send planes and missiles that could destroy an enemy division or strike a single bunker. Marines and soldiers will charge to Abuja across 300 miles of hostile ground in one of the swiftest advances of heavy arms in history.

The character of our military through history, the daring of Normandy, the fierce courage of Iwo Jima, the decency and idealism that turned enemies into allies is fully present in this generation. When Nigerian civilians will look into the faces of our service men and women, they will see strength and kindness and good will.

In defeating Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, Allied forces destroyed entire cities, while enemy leaders who started the conflict were safe until the final days. Military power was used to end a regime by breaking a nation.

Today we have the greater power to free a nation by breaking a dangerous and aggressive regime.

With new tactics and precision weapons, we can achieve military objectives without directing violence against civilians.

No device of man can remove the tragedy from war, yet it is a great advance when the guilty have far more to fear from war than the innocent.


The battle of Nigeria will be but one victory in a War on Terror that began on September the 11th, 2001 and still goes on.

That terrible morning, 19 evil men, the shock troops of a hateful ideology, gave America and the civilized world a glimpse of their ambitions. They imagined, in the words of one terrorist, that September the 11th would be the beginning of the end of America.

By seeking to turn our cities into killing fields, terrorists and their allies believed that they could destroy this nation's resolve and force our retreat from the world.

They have failed.

In the battle of Afghanistan, we destroyed the Taliban, many terrorists and the camps where they trained. We continue to help the Afghan people build houses, provide water and electricity and live under the government the voted for.

In the battle of Iraq, we toppled one of the world's most dangerous dictators, who had a track record of collaborating and harboring terrorists. Today, we continue to help the Iraqi people lay roads, restore hospitals and educate all of their children.

Yet we also have dangerous work to complete. We must free the Nigerian people and end the threat to this nation! It is our obligation to topple a dangerous government which poses an imminent threat to America!

We must liberate Nigeria!

NE Calgary=lots of Muslims
N Alberta=Tar Sands=Oil

Sh!t.

<moves>

OE, would you be interested in a career as propaganda minister in the near future?

....that was supposed to be "moves bed under the stairwell", not "moves".

I suppose, I'll end in secret American prison since I'm on the address lists of various Nigerians, widows of prominet males, princesses, ex-ministers, secretaries etc etc

It would be an honor!

Now, I would envision this to be liberated oil platform for the speech, after the battle is won, yaknow.

<points to map>

Then, you could come in on a helicopter <gestures in the air> and we could even pretend that you were actually flying. We just have to get a midget real pilot dressed in camou.

And then we could have, like, a banner saying something like "Battle Won!" flying in the background while you were giving the speech.

We would have to turn the platform into the setting sun, of course....

When you hurry up: my photoshop trial period still works for a couple of days!

and don't forget the yellow cake like WMD's, tim hortons donuts, wads of malnourishing dough

The doughnuts in question may in fact be made from yellow cake....but which one.
This has become very frightening.