Which Do You Fear?

many things dog, many things.

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Now, if I'd said picking your nose... I could understand being annoyed.

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I've known few friends and relatives who have died, but none who have suffered terribly. I don't think, never have, of death and dying. Why live in the past, which is gone, or a future which nobody knows much about?

My good and wonderful mother-in-law was so tough they told her she had a muscle strain in her back when in fact she had cancer. She cared for herself until the last two weeks when she suffered mightily in hospital. It was only 2 weeks but seemed forever. It would be nice to make the same sort of arrangement.

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I've gotta say, the degeneration of my mind does scare the hell out of me -- and there's a pretty good chance it's going to happen, given the history of my father's side of the family. All with dementia by 70 or 75. Ah, well -- this does not go hand in hand with death in their instances; they go on for years in this state.

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I have witnessed more than a few horrific deaths, and currently am close to someone who is suffering an illness that threatens to lead to death.

The end result; death, I expect to be a blessed relief.

The afterlife, for me, will be a blissful existence, which will make me forget all about this world. (YAY!)

Getting there, though.... How I die, how long it takes, the possible indignities.... this, I hope I am strong enough to circumvent. I have held many men upright, while they valiantly tried to score the potty...quietly gathered their urine stained clothing, hoping they didn't know what they had done-- Endured the same conversation for the third time in five minutes, trying to seem it was natural each time...

My greatest fear is being a burden on my children. I hope I am mentally quick enough to take an OD, or just leave a nice note, directions to my will and take the pills on the doorstep of a mortuary...

The lingering process does seem to be better for those who love you after it's all over. They have time to say goodbye, and after a while they think it would be better for you to die. I wonder if speeding up the process by suicide is kinder or more selfish in the long run?

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Sofia wrote:

I wonder if speeding up the process by suicide is kinder or more selfish in the long run?

That is a very interesting question.

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Sofia wrote:

Quote:

I wonder if speeding up the process by suicide is kinder or more selfish in the long run?

That is a very interesting question.[/quote]

Patiodog responded:

Quote:

That is a very interesting question.

If we could have a bit more public discussion of suicide for terminal people we could probably take this question out of the "interesting" category -- and put it into the "decided" list.

And I think it would be -- decidedly kinder.

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sofia "My greatest fear is being a burden on my children. (or anyone) I hope I am mentally quick enough to take an OD, or just leave a nice note, directions to my will and take the pills on the doorstep of a mortuary..."
YES

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Quote:

i totally agree but offer questions such as how do you determine "need" and what happens if you become incompetent to act?

dyslexia-Unfortunately, my "system" is not perfect. I think that if I had an illness that was going to be downhill 'til the end, I would act. If there were any hope, of course I would hang on. I would have to assess quality of life vs. the little extra time I would receive by living.

As far as being competent, I hope that I will never be in the position where my incompetency would not allow me to deal with my life as I wish. If I were to receive a diagnosis say, of Alzheimer's, I would make my plans before I was unable to!

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Piffka wrote:

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About Death? My mother always told me that it would be an experience not to be missed and as natural as being born. I see the wisdom in that.

I like this.

Some random thoughts:
There so many emotions involved for me, this year my mom died after a long sickness, followed almost immediately by a dear friend, then two weekends ago the child of a close cousin drove herself off the Miami Bay Bridge followed by the near death of our favorite elderly aunt. In the midst of my deepest sadness I find myself first happy for them, that death was better than their lives, and then, moments later, wondering how can I be happy that they are not alive and well. Confused

Death spins us faster than life.

I do know this: I'm unhappy that it all has to end for me. I'd rather not go. I like life.

For many years I was petrified of heights, short ones, twenty five feet or so, hated to get on ladders, but when I went through parachute training I jumped off the towers with almost no hitch in my step. I finally figured it out years later at an amusement park when a friend noticed I was nervous on the low fast rides but okay at the top of the ferris wheel. "Death", I said, "is certain from up there. On the toboggan all you might get was a crushed pelvis or something." I don't want to suffer, I want to go out like a light bulb.
===
When we watched on tv the bodies falling from the towers, someone asked how could they do that? I said they were brokers, they estimated the risks of burning or falling and they took the sure thing. If it presents itself, so will I>

Joe

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Patio has introduced an important idea here-the thought of the possibility of senescence is one which haunts me . . .

To Piffka: I have not wished to be unkind to you; i value you for your intelligence, your ready wit, and your obvious good nature.

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I'm pretty sure someone else brought it up first -- but I can't remember...

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Think, man, think . . . fight that encroaching . . . uh . . . whatzit . . . you're too . . . too . . . too young, yes that's it, you're . . . damn! i'm getting hungry . . . what's in the fridge . . .

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Frankly, I am pissed off by death.

I feel the Universe (or God or whatever) is cheating me. The whole idea is quite unfair whether there is an afterlife or not.

Look, the Universe has been around for some 15,000,000,000 years. The Earth has been here for 5 billion (give or take a couple). I am supposed to be happy with a mere 80 or 90 years. That is practically nothing!

I am supposed to spend this 80 years working to make the world a better place, and for whom? In just 100 years my children will be dead and I will be a faint memory to their children.

In a momentary 1000 years pretty much everything I have done or thought or said or wrote or fathered will be completely unappreciated, or even known about, by anyone. This idea upsets me more than it scares me.

If there is a god (and I suspect there is) I feel He owes me more than this. Giving me a mind that can imagine eternity, experience beautity and contemplate the miracle of the Universe without the time to do anything about it seems like a cruel joke.

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Possibly, ebrown, you may so love the next life, you will be miffed at having had to slug around in this one first.

Wouldn't that be loverly?

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ebrown_p wrote:

Frankly, I am pissed off by death.

I feel the Universe (or God or whatever) is cheating me. The whole idea is quite unfair whether there is an afterlife or not.

Look, the Universe has been around for some 15,000,000,000 years. The Earth has been here for 5 billion (give or take a couple). I am supposed to be happy with a mere 80 or 90 years. That is practically nothing!

I am supposed to spend this 80 years working to make the world a better place, and for whom? In just 100 years my children will be dead and I will be a faint memory to their children.

In a momentary 1000 years pretty much everything I have done or thought or said or wrote or fathered will be completely unappreciated, or even known about, by anyone. This idea upsets me more than it scares me.

If there is a god (and I suspect there is) I feel He owes me more than this. Giving me a mind that can imagine eternity, experience beautity and contemplate the miracle of the Universe without the time to do anything about it seems like a cruel joke.

I think that's part of the idea with being a Christian - well for me anyway - getting a chance to walk and talk with God and to ask those questions and ponder the measure and majesty of the universe. Can hardly wait.

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ebrown_p wrote:

Frankly, I am pissed off by death.

I feel the Universe (or God or whatever) is cheating me. The whole idea is quite unfair whether there is an afterlife or not.

Look, the Universe has been around for some 15,000,000,000 years. The Earth has been here for 5 billion (give or take a couple). I am supposed to be happy with a mere 80 or 90 years. That is practically nothing!

I am supposed to spend this 80 years working to make the world a better place, and for whom? In just 100 years my children will be dead and I will be a faint memory to their children.

In a momentary 1000 years pretty much everything I have done or thought or said or wrote or fathered will be completely unappreciated, or even known about, by anyone. This idea upsets me more than it scares me.

If there is a god (and I suspect there is) I feel He owes me more than this. Giving me a mind that can imagine eternity, experience beautity and contemplate the miracle of the Universe without the time to do anything about it seems like a cruel joke.

All the more reason to laugh at funny things and treat people with kindness (or at least not treat them cruelly). If we're each so truly insignificant -- well, there's not much pressure to be perfect or to do great things...

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Sofia, that WOULD be loverly. Very Happy

Patiodog, what a great response to ebrown and to all of us. I would be so happy if everyone would lighten up and be kind to each other. :wink:

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Setanta wrote:

To Piffka: I have not wished to be unkind to you;

I would never want to be unkind to you, either. Truly I meant no offense. I sort of liked the image, but only with gentle humor.

I apologize to anyone who felt I was mocking Setanta's or your own beliefs. It is hard enough to really know what my own are, they have certainly changed with time. Perhaps in my old & doddering age I will forget altogether. Shocked

I also like life. And I like what Husker's (long!) link said -- By living in the present you are already living an eternal life.

Quote:

If I have a 'new' thought, it is that my world, or what I started off calling this, seems to occupy a 'timeless present' analogous to that traditionally ascribed to the Deity. Wittgenstein once wrote, 'Eternal life belongs to one who lives in the present.'

As I've seen family & friends leave this vale of tears, there have been several moments of considering my own demise. Who hasn't had that moment of lying awake wondering what death will be like? Lucky, you are, if you haven't wondered in illness, "Is the moment close at hand?"
For me, there were moments of sheer terror, hand-clutching fear, because it will come. There is no stopping death.

Meanwhile, it is better to keep on keeping on -- be as happy as possible and try to make the lives of those around you as easy as possible. If that means easing my own way out, at the very end, I would do that. I hope it doesn't come to that. Meanwhile, I'm trying to live in the present.

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My problem is not fear, but curious frustration; I'd really like to know how it all turns out; and, unless the "end of the world" mongers are soon to be correct, I probably won't last to the end.
As for the "death" thing, I have frequently challenged any dieties to take away my existence immediately, on the basis that I do not wish to live in a universe where the view of any, or all, of the established religions even approaches being reality. I'd rather not be here; and, perhaps the fact that nothing has taken me up on my offer, reassures me somewhat in that my concept of existence is less "scarey" to me than theirs.

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Which Do You Fear?

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