THE BRITISH THREAD

Good luck, chilly from Chorton.

The gasman is saying he has a headache already from it!

I had a really bad one in the bath the other night - I could have been a gonner!!!

x

Get that in writing from him!

That is so not true McT!

Most of the funny people I know are woman!

x

bloody hell smorgie

do what ellpus said

I reckon you could have a serious claim against your landlord...

your local authority might be able to take up the cudgels for you.

We cant have unscrupulous people going around trying to poison smorghshoius can we now?

Oh I don't know Mac.

Hattie Jaques was pretty good, and Margaret Rutherford's a real hoot. Coronation St has a few. Jack's wife for one.

Every young lad should watch Corrie for a bit to give him an idea what he's up against. It's a dead loss going blindfold. A flirt and a flip and a honeymoon and it's off to Homebase and B&Q with your hard earned wages until gold watch time.

Just watch when Miss Rutherford tells the Chief Super to "follow me".

The ones you mention are not comics. They are grinding axes. Like Ben Elton- he's no idea. He's a very serious person you know.

For any of you that are familiar with exhaust gases... it's reading 13, with the cover off and the front door and windows open, just overheard it...

x

Just heard the gasman say "effin hell it's 26!"

x

Muckty,

I am I the only person who didn't know that Torchwood was an anagram of Dr Who?

Sorry if my gas saga is boring everyone...

x

See Jaques Derrida on deconstruction.

What we all say or believe is based on our own experience - that's been the basis of empirical science since the Enlightenment.

"Lovely Ladies" is insulting, I believe You to be a misongynist.

But...

I can't help chuckling at the wonderful mixed metaphor you've used (in bold).

Looking to form our future without considering the lessons of the past is child-like behaviour, just as to make decisions about the direction of our lives and the world, without considereing history, is foolish in the extreme. I know there a rather succinct quote on that somewhere but I can't find it now.

I hope you enjoy your life, spendi. I don't envy you your view of the world.

Smorgs

Just glad you're with us to tell it!

KP

Just got this weird email from someone I don't know - anyone seen it before?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>This is really freaky, but you have to do the last part.
>>
>>
>>
>>Howdy.... I hope you have time to read the following and go to MS
>>Word and type in Caps Q33NY, etc. and see what happens.
>>Have a good day.
>>
>>
>>Read to the bottom. Try it out. I did. I got goose bumps. IF YOU'RE
>>A CRITICAL PERSON STILL READ ON AS IT'S ACTUALLY VERY INTERESTING!!
>>
>>This is actually really freaky!! (mainly the end part, but read it
>>all first)
>>1) New York City has 11 letters
>>2) Afghanistan has 11
letters.
>>3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin
>>Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
>>4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
>>
>>This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
>>1) New York is the 11th state.
>>2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight
>>number 11.
>>3) Flight 11 was carry ing 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
>>4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65
>>passengers. 6+5 = 11
>>5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 +
>>1+ 1 =11
>>
>>6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number
>>911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
>>
>>Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:
>>1) The total number
of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was
>>254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
>>2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5
>>+ 4 = 11.
>>3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 =
>>11
>>4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers
>>incident
>>
>>Now this is where things get totally eerie: The most recognized
>>symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The
>>following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic h oly book:
>>"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome
>>Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of
>>Allah while some of the people trembled in despair still more
>>rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle
cleansed the lands of Allah
>>and there was peace." That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran .
>>Unconvinced about all of this Still .?!
>>
>>Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on
>>end: Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
>>1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first
>>plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.
>>
>>2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
>>3. Change the font size to 48.
>>4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS. What do you think
>>now?!! Send this to as many people as you know and in 11 minutes
>>you will get a nice surprise, if you don't you will get the shock
>>of your life in 11
min.
>>

I don't have word...

Just tried it - looks very wierd:

Q = Aeroplane, pointing right
33 = looks like 2 tower blocks

N = Skull & Cross-Bones
Y = Jewish 6-pointed Star

which you could read as being a comment on the death of Judaism from the 9/11 incident.

Rather strange, though (says he, who flies about once a week) - flights tend to have two letters and up to 4 numbers, not the form it suggests.

How much of the email is actually fact, I wonder?

There's so much rubbish in numerology that I don't really get too concerned about this stuff. I don't think you should, either.

KP

Aha...

If you look up "koran 9 11 hoax", it leads you to the following:

Truth or Fiction - Koran Chapter 9 Verse 11

That's a relief, or something!

Derrida is tied to a stake in front of a firing squad.

The officer read out sentence.

Derrida says "what does it mean?

The officer says "it means we're going to shoot you".



Obviously. But it does depend on how that experience is interpreted and the observed experience of others is a large factor. In my case much the largest factor. I'm not bothered about what has happened to me. I'm useless as a statistic from which to draw any conclusions.



Yeah--I spent 20 minutes on that line and changed it half a dozen times on the way.

I don't envy anybody's way of life but I can't imagine my saying so to their faces.

pantrypete wrote:



I wondered that too...

Don't worry, KP, I don't take a blind bit of notice of emails like that or conspiracy theories.

I delete any chain emails with relish, and never resond to them.

Just curious, cos I don't have word.

x

Do workmen go to a 'special' shop to buy their jeans?

When the try them on - do they check the back view in the mirror, and only select those that show suitable 'arse cleavage'?

And do other workman admire them?

And ask them where they got them from?

And do they try them on in front of their mates and say "hope my arse looks big in these"

He smells great though...

Smells of putty...

x

1. No, I didn't know that. Why should anyone?

2. No your gas saga is not boring everyone or anyone...strikes me that you could sell that story to the Sunday papers for £20000 or adjacent. A big wedge, anyway. You nearly got killed.

McT wrote:



Common knowledge, apparently...

They have gone to get a new boiler, and I heard the words 'fire cement' mentioned.

At the moment - I'm more in danger of over exposure to testosterone!

Men's conversations are sometimes tres boring.

Why can't they talk about something interesting like exfoliation, peptides and dipilation?

x