Walter
I hadn't seen those photos either!!! Thank you very kindly. What a grand mix of likeable humans.
blatham wrote:What a grand mix of likeable humans.
Lowest category, blatham, mostly subgroup "liberal" or even "socialist"
Walter
Well, clearly, Steve is a football hooligan, thus exactly as I imagined him once the black eyes healed.
Isn't it curious how we produce a certain image of a person we know online, and do it with enough unconscious certainty that we find ourselves surprised at seeing such photographs? The only person here who I was even close to having a correct likeness of was ci, and that probability of error has been the same with each set of photos I've seen.
Since Steve and I met in London Gautam nearly the same moment we entered the restaurant, this was really good to guess.
(Much easier fore me to find the complete group, since I knew McTag and FionaB already.
Quote:Well, clearly, Steve is a football hooligan, thus exactly as I imagined him once the black eyes healed.
Can you imagine what trouble I/we had at the airport last week, when Steve and Mrs. Steve came visiting us?
Walter - them pictures bought back a flood of sweet memories !!
Yes, still trying to prepare my salmon as in "India's Culinary Ambassador" :wink:
My recall isn't all that dependable, but I remember some decades ago that studies have been done on "looks and success." These studies have shown that teachers were more likely to forgive the better looking students mistakes in their papers, and that the police were more apt to let good looking people go more readily of similar crimes as not so good looking. The most interesting part of these studies for me was the fact that new hires often favored the good looking people as well as promotions. Looks do count, but for important, long term friendships and love, it depends on the person's character. Gotta admit tho, that I was attracted to my wife the very first time, because of her looks.
c.i.
walter
Very funny!
ci
Yes, you point to something quite statistically discernible. Aristotle, in On Happiness, famously wrote that happiness is more difficult for those very poor, very old, or very ugly. And though unfair, it is so. If it weren't for street medication, I'd be down for the count here.
You know, a smile or outright laughter lights up any face, even the most blighted . . . as i go through my daily life, i flirt with every woman in sight, i crack jokes with the servers at the counter of the fast food restaurant, i inject a harmless silliness into every transaction i undertake . . . i'm no matinee idol, and smoking does indeed add wrinkles to your face--but i get a good reaction, and it's just amazing how much more attractive people are when they smile at you . . . you get as much beauty out of life as you are able to extract, the effort is up to you . . .
setanta
You are right of course, but it isn't the entire picture, and that's relevant to this conversation. My first job was newpaper boy and my route included the local hospital and attached senior citizen facilities. At 12, I could observe how disposition affected the happiness available to people.
But disposition is itself dependent upon one's life experiences. The child of a violent alcoholic, the wife of a sexist jerk, the poor souls born into a time or place of little mercy or of deep travail - don't have the fortune which you or I, homely shmucks that we are, enjoy.
And in this culture, broadly, women have been disadvantaged. How to rectify that, individually and socially, is the debatable question (as with racism) but the general fact of it is real. The fight that Deb and buterflynet and others have waged needed to be waged. That they (we) fight not just against arbitrary social arrangements, but also against dynamics which exist (surely) at levels preceding consciousness likely adds to the amount of grey hair we all have now.
Fortunately, almost all of my white hairs have appeared on my chin--i've pulled out any that appeared on top (vanitas, vanitatum). Of course, Lovey insists on the beard (van dyke), so they are out there for all to see . . .
I can only agree in part with what you say here, in that i cannot, and cannot reasonably be expected to, right the wrongs of society, or those inherent in simple existence. I can make life more pleasant for myself, and thereby for others, and this will indeed make me more attractive to them, and them to me. Ealier, i answered the question of this thread that physical appearance does indeed matter--but we are not passive spectators before a television screen, unless that is what one chooses. Appearances matter, but so does the effort we toward the qualities of our lives, and the effect which that will have on others . . .
Setanta wrote:Fortunately, almost all of my white hairs have appeared on my chin
Glad, you prove this by a more recent photo!
sentanta
Yes, I know what you mean. It is the dilemma which seems to me at the heart of the arguments for and against social programs. It is what John Rawls was tryiing to solve with his 'theory on justice'.
Quick poll
A gorgeous woman and an ordinary woman is standing at a singles bar. You have a choice to talk to one of them. Who will you choose ??
Let's all face it. The first thing which attracts us to a person is the way he or she looks (and pls exculde friendships/romances formed over the internet from this)
Its like food - we make an extra effort to make our food look good - it is only when we eat it we decide whether or not we like it, good looking or not - and sometimes we make an extra effort to like it just because it looks good !!
People are somewhat like this. I don't dispute that "inner beauty" is what is ultimately satisfying in the long run - but we make an effort to know that "inner beauty" only because we like the "outer beauty" first !!
My 2 cents......
I think it's interesting that someone couldn't be curious or could be angry over the discussion of the appearance of internet friends. It seems very natural -- and even though I'm not as involved here as most of you I enjoy being a fly on the wall of the "gathering threads" and looking through the pics to see what everyone looks like. I must say, this site has an incredibly great-looking bunch of people!
At any rate, it appears that jealousy has reared its ugly head in the case of one person, but that the majority truely enjoy comparing the initial images in their heads with the reality of meeting someone.
Gautam, My personal life experience confirms your thesis.
c.i.
ci mine too - no one talks to me at the bar
Regarding the bar scenario: I think that many people are intimidated by someone with a high level of beauty/sex appeal. Perhaps they would choose to chat up the regular-looking person instead!
