Is Physical Appearance Completely Irrelavant?

Fortunately, i have not had to suffer that sort of thing, although, it wouldn't bother me that much. Ironically, a landlord on neighboring property, whom i found throwing trash over the fence, told his son to back off when i threw it back, and threatened to call the police. He then began sneering and hurling insults, hoping that he could incite an unwise action on my part. One of his comments was: "You probably could have been a prize fighter, if you weren't so fat." I turned quickly, and marched toward the property line, and his son nearly pissed himself, tripped over his own feet, almost knocked his father over trying to get away. I then had a good laugh, and went back in the house. I guess a lot of it has to do with your personal image. I like myself, and always have, despite years of drug and alcohol abuse, despite a life time dealing with depression--i've never worried about my physical appearance. I only get bothered as my age increases, and i realize i can no longer run up a flight of stairs, two treads at a time--but i'm philosophical about things like that.

I also know of an almost obscenely obese woman in Columbus, Ohio, who hangs out in a bar i used to frequent. I was greatly amused on evening: I'd always seen her making remarks to men seated beside her out of the side of her mouth. One evening, it happened to be me. "Wanna go over to my place, an' have some fun?" "Don't worry, i won't tell anyone." "We'll leave at different times, by different doors." "Here, i'll write down my address." You know what, i'll be she gets laid right regular. My point in all of this is that you are personally what you make of yourself, just as is the case of making the most, or what you want, of any situation in which you find yourself. I think people who are terribly overweight, or who are genuinely obese, may have self-image problems stemming from deeper problems, and losing the weight will only be a temporary solution--like a depressive who goes on a spending spree, and temporarily feels on top of the world. I have no waist, didn't have one when i was thirteen, standing 6'1" and weighing 120 lbs., didn't have one when i was 30, 6'2" and 190 lbs, don't have one now at 52, 6'2" and 280 lbs. So i never matched the Adonis image, and have never really cared.

I'm not trying to sound as though i'm superior, because these are petty problems beneath my notice. I know how people can be hurt in such circumstances, and i've also always been sufficiently sensitive to feelings to be able to place myself in the positions of others, and understanding how they suffer. Hell, i've unloaded on people who deserved it because of the abuse they had aimed at me, and have had a part of my mind be able to see the pain they suffered, and felt a little (but never a lot) badly about it.

I guess i don't know what i'm saying here, other than the problem is extremely complex, and there can be no simple statement, nor solution to the problem. I will state that white society in America has a very cruel standard about this (my experience is that the black community does not punish it's members who are not slim and trim), and it is a great injustice.

Just out of curiosity, Setanta, did you run screamming for the exit or did you recognize her desire for companionship at whatever the cost and chat with her awhile?

Oh, i got to know her very well then, and to later avoid her like the plague. I have become convinced that she finds herself complete within herself (she exhibits great self-possession), and is simply interested in getting laid. I ought to note that she likely wouldn't give me a second glance these days (like Husker, i accumulated my great weight after suffering a debilitating knee injury), because she usually seems to go for slim men. If she is tortured by insecurity, then her self-possession is even more impressive.

Well, I'm a "well rounded" woman who decided years ago not to let the extra weight bother me. I happen to be married to a thin guy...(6'2", 175 lbs. at 50 yrs. old, mind you.) He eats four times as much as I ever have. My 9-yr-old son watches us, and he's already learned an important lesson from that: overweight doesn't mean overeating.

Funny thing is, my husband is the only thin one in his family. The rest look like me. Consequently, he thinks I look normal and he looks funny! (And far be it from me to correct him!!!)

I left a dieting group years ago when I heard one woman sum it all up. She said, "If I had put as much energy into my career as I have put into my diet, I could have been President of the United States by now."

I take very good care of myself, and I make a very nice appearance if I do say so myself. My blood pressure is right on target, and my cholesterol is 175. If the extra weight ever causes health problems for me, I would consider doing something about it. But for now, it's not, so it's not worth worrying about. Got more important things to do...

Exactly, Visitor. There's an assumption out there that overweight automatically equals sickness, and it's not always so.

Like you, I have low blood pressure and low cholesterol. And I can run up and down the steep stairs in my home better than I could 5 years ago, when I weighed less than I do now.

Prejudice against overweight folks is to a large extent the unfortunately last "acceptable" prejudice. Ever watch "Friends" when Courteney Cox wears the fat suit? Or even when she doesn't, there are often jokes about weight. Subsitute a few words and make them jokes about race and suddenly it's not so innocuous.

You do indeed make a nice appearance!

Visitor is a beautiful woman, you guys.

Why, LibertyD, what a nice thing to say!!

You're quite attractive yourself! (Petite & thin, for you guys!...Hey, a thin woman who's not prejudiced against heavier women! YAY!!! We have EVOLVED!!!)

Jespah, I hear you about the stairs. We moved four years ago into a house with four levels...two stories with attic conversion & basement office. There are three flights of stairs between my bedroom and my home office, so I get a LOT of exercise.

I agree, Jespah. Imagine yourself watching the show with a group of family or friends and hearing them roar with laughter at those jokes. No matter how accepting you are of your own body image, the jokes/comments still sting and hearing your friends laugh at them while in your presence isn't the greatest feeling in the world.

I've realized that being prejudiced or bigoted against blacks, Asians, Mexicans, Irish, Germans, Italians, French, Brits, Auzzies, Polynesians, tall, short, fat, skinny, or anything else means I'd have no family, friends, neighbors, or anything else. c.i.

hmmm, no american wasps of average height and build among your friends, CI. sounds like you're a bigot to me.

pd, I wouldn't know 'average' if I saw one. LOL c.i.

well, another word for average is "mean"

c. i. reply
c.i.

I didn't find "women" on your long list. Does that mean I still can be your friend? I hope, I hope, I hope, the answer is yes!

BumbleBeeBoogie

truth
I just discovered this thread about an hour ago. I looked through the Western get-together thread and photos last week, and enjoyed it immensely. I particularly enjoyed the photos (sorry Butterfly). Everyone looked pretty much as I expected--wonderful. Only one surprise: Dyslexia, and it was a wonderful surprise. What a great look!. Now to my point. I think it is perfectly understandable that there should have been so much talk about physical appearance if only because we seem to know so much about our ways of thinking. To "fill in" the image we have of one another is perfectly desireable--and great fun. Great idea, Lola, to have this follow up.

Wimmin are special in my life. I wouldn't know what I've done without my lovely wife. c.i.

I'm not fond of wasps, they get a bit uppity when you poke at their nests....especially if you are above average....

bumblebee

First, no, I'm not familiar with that theatre, and haven't been to Exeter in sober memory. Why do you inquire?

But I must add something here. Truly, I did not notice, or think you obese. That thought didn't enter my noggin, and that is completely true. It isn't that I never have that notion on seeing people, but it wasn't part of how I thought about you.

My mother was much overweight through her adult life, but she was always deeply active in the community and a very strong and confident person. Grandma was pretty rollypolly too. For us, it wasn't an important factor.

cav, Everybody in my world is "above average." c.i.

Mine too, c.i.