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Sat 19 Aug, 2006 02:25 pm
This afternoon Mr. Noddy went to a family funeral for a 74 year old man. Instead of having people stop back at her house for a buffet and conversation, the widow elected to hire a restaurant to provide a buffet.
Calling hours were from 11:00 to 11:30. The funeral lasted 45 minutes. The restaurant was booked from 12 to 1:30. About 1:15 the restaurant staff started clearing and by 1:45 they were setting up for the evening party.
Is a restaurant buffet common these days?
I have been to one recently where there was a buffet in the local pub/restaurant. But there were no time restrictions on the ending.
x
That is a common tradition in Germany since .... a couple of hundred years (mostly in pubs, though).
(Generally, without time restriction.)
Yepp, and the Germans call it for some reason "Leichenschmaus" (corps feast)
Noddy, you haven't lived until you have been to a Virginia funeral, if you will pardon the oxymoron.
I won't even bother to explain.
Actually, every funeral I've ever been to involved going to a restaurant afterwards.
Most of the people from the funeral will go there and eat, drink and talk, then a select few will go back to the house with the family afterwards for more quiet company.
I recall we went to a kosher restaurant after my Aunt Ray's funeral although it might've been her unveiling (uh, the unveiling of the tombstone).
jespah wrote:I recall we went to a kosher restaurant after my Aunt Ray's funeral although it might've been her unveiling (uh, the unveiling of the tombstone).
I haven't heard of that custom before.
Yeah, it's about a year after the funeral, the stone is unveiled. It gives you a chance to pay respects if you had to miss the funeral for any reason, and gets the family back together.
I've never heard of this in any group other than Jews.
We had a very nice buffet in one of the meeting rooms at a hotel after my mother's funeral a few years ago. It worked out very nicely.
None of her three children had a house in the same city where she lived, and we didn't want a bunch of people (some of whom we didn't even know) potentially rifling through her things at her house. Can't always trust people. Sad but true.
I grew up with family members and close friends being invited back to the house after the service for conversational memories and a buffet produced by family and friends.
Ten years ago, when my mother died, my brother and sister and I took her ashes back "home" for a funeral service. We reckoned on booking a restaurant room, but two of my mother's cousins--both in their 80's, came up with a family spread.
Yesterday, the widow, a woman with three daughters, three-daughters-in-law and four grown granddaughters opted for a booking a restaurant so there would be "no cleaning up".
I suppose times change.
A funeral dinner is very traditional around these parts. It's always at a local restaurant and everyone who attends the funeral is invited.
Noddy24 wrote:Yesterday, the widow, a woman with three daughters, three-daughters-in-law and four grown granddaughters opted for a booking a restaurant so there would be "no cleaning up".
I will quietly note that there is no mention of sons, sons-in-laws, or grandsons.... Surely they would be involved in the clean-up effort as well?
It's probably been 25 years since I went to a funeral 'do' where the food was prepared by family/friends.
Sometimes family/friends bring desserts to add to a delivered food service, or it's all-restaurant/buffet.
Drew Dad--
Quote:I will quietly note that there is no mention of sons, sons-in-laws, or grandsons.... Surely they would be involved in the clean-up effort as well?
We're talking about the resolute redneck branch of the family.
When my grandmother died the service was held in a local funeral home with a local minister but the plot was a hour's drive away in a remote rural area. It was Christmas eve and there was a terrible snow storm and many people had driven quite a distance some with very small children. Luckily an in-law of a relative's relative
had ties to a tiny country church nearby and the women's group put on a lunch for us after our visit to the cemetery. You can imagine how welcome hot coffee and tea and homemade "tea" sandwiches and desserts were after shivering in a snow storm in a windswept country graveyard. I'll never forget the generosity of those women finding the time to look after us on Christmas eve.
Re: New Funeral Customs
Noddy24 wrote:This afternoon Mr. Noddy went to a family funeral for a 74 year old man. Instead of having people stop back at her house for a buffet and conversation, the widow elected to hire a restaurant to provide a buffet.
Calling hours were from 11:00 to 11:30. The funeral lasted 45 minutes. The restaurant was booked from 12 to 1:30. About 1:15 the restaurant staff started clearing and by 1:45 they were setting up for the evening party.
Is a restaurant buffet common these days?
Makes it easier for the widow in many respects.
Noddy24 wrote:Drew Dad--
Quote:I will quietly note that there is no mention of sons, sons-in-laws, or grandsons.... Surely they would be involved in the clean-up effort as well?
We're talking about the resolute redneck branch of the family.
Their dominion is defined by soapsuds and dishtowels, eh?
The most enjoyable (!) funeral I've been to in quite a while was for an uncle of mine. The post-church, post-cemetary "do" was catered, on a yacht... on a beautiful day. It fit him...
Drew Dad--
Quote:Their dominion is defined by soapsuds and dishtowels, eh?
Women are also allowed to fetch and carry and to listen in awe.
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