Assisted Living vs condo

Mythyme--

Welcome to A2K.

All of us hope to die with our boots on, but no one can choose a style of death.

Point to consider: Can you face two moves, first to a condo and then to Assisted Living?

Another point: You say that Assisted Living would take all your money. Do you have children who are counting on an inheritance?

I think Noddy has a very good point about the two moves.

Depending on where you are, sometimes there are communities that have a combination. I'm thinking of one in my city that consists of 3 linked towers -- one is a seniors condominium, one assisted living, and the third is full-care. The first floor links them all and has services such as a cafe, a library, hair salon, convenience store, non-denominational chapel, etc. The nursing staff is available to everyone, including the independent condo dwellers, if the need arises. As your needs change, you move from one tower to the next. You still move, but it's not as stressful as finding a new place in another part of town.

Even if that isn't available where you are, if you're up to it and can find a nice condo in a good area, that might be best. Condos are typically less expensive than houses, so depending on your mortgage situation, you may be able to buy a condo outright. Then, when you are ready for the assisted-living, sell the condo (hopefully it's appreciated and you get a bonus to your investment) and use that money for the assisted living. If you go this route, I think it's important to find a good realtor who has solid experience with seniors and their lifestyles.

From my own experience, there is a lot less stress living in a condo apartment than a house. And greater security. If you do decide to move, give yourself lots of time to look carefully and to get rid of all the stuff we pack into a lifetime in a house. It took me 4 months to find my condo and I got a 2-month closing date, which I used to purge my possessions.

But it's important to consider all your options and do what's best for you and your husband. Not just financially, but emotionally too.

Assisted living vs. condo
Thank you Noddy and Tico. You've given me good information, things I
hadn't thought of. I hope I get some more responses as well.

Moving straight to Assisted Living may seem premature and drastic, but at your ages you'd be a damn fool to assume you'd have plenty of warning for an emergency.

I see nothing morbid about doing my best to avoid muddle and trouble--which means admitting that muddle and trouble are very possible scenarios.

I'm with Noddy on this. Why move twice? Perhaps you can find an assisted living facility that will allow you and your husband the freedom of mobility that you obviously hope to maintain.

Have you considered hiring a caretaker to visit a few times a week and then someone to assist with the housekeeping? It's another way to go but the cost for both may be less than either a condo or assisted living facilities.

You can buy condos here (in Germany) in assisted living facalities.
The service you get, is totally referring your demand: from nothing at all to nurses three times or more often daily, meals, doctors, cleaners etc etc. (Actuallym that's here exactly the idea behind "assisted living".)

There's a related report in today's Chicago Tribune (section 4, pages 12-11)

SENIOR SERVICE
Condo associations are adjusting to an older population, but what is their responsibility to residents?

I wouldn't do it. Don't pay any attention to New Age people with their glib compliments in favor of things like assisted care and heaven forbid, nursing homes.

You should go on living at your home just like good World War II people do. This senior assistance mania is strictly a money grubbing industry where minimum wage trolls hate their menial jobs and the millionaires that own these death mills make more millions.

Plus, if you are smart the less you have to do with people your age the better off you will be. I meet with a group of old people periodically mainly as a favor to them. I don't like doing it but it comes under the category of "giving something back" so I do it pretty much as a civic obligation. I am 70 and I "get it on" several times a month with women who are age appropriate. Age is chronological of course but frame of mind goes a long way. I see people, fools actually, in their early sixties who mumble, drool. they are geriatric. It irks me to see that.

Plus you probably can't afford one of those assisted care places anyway and once you arrived there I can guarantee you will hate it before the day is out. You will hate it when some low class, dark skinned peon brings you cold tea.

Have you got a dog? If you don't have a dog get one. I have a dog and she is better than having a human living with me although, incidentally that may soon change when I develop my relationship with the avant-garde woman more swimmingly.

No, for heaven's sake, you and your husband should stay home, enjoy your time together and stay away from strangers. Talk to your minister and ask him to send parishioners to chat once in awhile. Spruce up and spice up your life a little bit. Enjoy some beer in the daytime and a hot toddy or two prior to turning in to your own, nice warm bed.

Your home is where you will be best off. I guarantee. :wink:

Where I live, in Florida, there are a number of places that have combination living facilities. In other words, a person can start out with an "independent living apartment". Here you are on your own, except that you are provided 1-3 meals a day (according to the facility), linen laundry, (you do your own personal laundry) and weekly maid service.

The next step is assisted living, where a person gets 3 meals, all laundry, and help with bathing, dressing and medication. There are people around 24/7 in case you have a problem. Often there is a beauty and barber shop on the premises.

Some of these places have nursing home units for those with serious medical problems.

Of course in these facilities, you do not have the problems in running and maintaining a home, and the number of bills that are due every month is greatly decreased.

mythyme- My concern is that your husband has lost his short term memory. Therefore, just about everything concerning the house is "on your head". As he ages, you will probably be doing more and more for him. If you were completely well, I might feel differently. Since you have fibromyalgia, this responsibility may prove more and more difficult for you.

Personally, given your circumstances, I don't think that moving to a condo would be of too much help. Yes, you would be spared some of the duties of a homeowner, but I think that at this point in time, you may possibly need more help. I think that an independent living facility, with an assisted living section, would be far more practical at this point in your life.

Talk to your state office of senior affairs. They can probably give you a list of those kinds of facilities in your area. Visit them. Talk to the people who live there. Do they look alert and happy? Are there lots of activities for them? Ask them their opinion of the place. Do employees come and go, or have the people who worked there been at the facility for a long time? That is a great clue as to the quality of a place. If there is a place that you are considering, pop in at different times, especially meal time. Does the place stint on food, or is the menu adequate and pleasing?

Do your homework, and you will probably find a place that suits your needs nicely. Good luck!

I wonder what Ms. Mythyme decided to do?

Assisted living
Look around for a retirement community that provides what Phoenix describes. One name for these is "Life Care Communities"; try looking in the Yellow Pages, or entering that term in Google.

This is what we live in, and I am enormously thankful that we do, since Bob could not possibly live on his own; if I weren't here, he might be able to go on the assisted living plan here, in which case he would be able to stay in our apartment with aides coming in whenever needed. As things are now, he is able to stay with me in our apartment instead of having to go to a nursing home; if I need help, as down the road I most surely will, it's there, thank God

Whatever you decide, if you are not aware of it or the potential costs, when you buy a condo, you also need to pay for monthly condo fees. These can vary greatly depending on the facilities offered at the condo complex. You can also receive assesments where you may have to come up with additional money as a result of major unexpected expenses like a new roof, or in one case where I lived a change in fire code where we had to get a whole new heating system for the building.

As my grandmother has had some recent medical issues we were looking into assisted living - it is very expensive as you said and she cannot afford it and also gets too much money so can't get financial assistance (even though she makes less than the monthly rent). You will need to look into can you afford it for the rest of your lives? As some have mentioned is there some sort of compromise?

My grandmother has decided to try it on her own again. She lives in an apartment building that is strictly for seniors/disabled individuals. There is some help (ie lunches, residents help each other/look out for one another). She also has family near by to keep an eye on her daily. Do you have family around that may help for some things?

There are also lots of other types of assistance available - meals on wheels, you could hire some one to come to do cleaning, if you had a condo. There are also many condos that are retirement communities that offer meals in their community room/building, cleaning, etc. for additional costs.

Assisted living
Assisted living generally provides various services for which you pay individually - by the hour, or according to the service. Assisted living and Life Care Communities have monthly fees, like condos, but Life Care Communities have most of the ordinary services such as cleaning, utilities, maintenance within the unit, and one meal per day included in those fees.

Our Life Care Community is a coop and emergency assessments aren't charged to the residents; we have a fund for such, made up of things like sales fees when a unit is purchased or sold (a percentage is charged to both seller and buyer). I'm not sure about Assisted Living communities, but they seem more like rental apartments with services available; Life Care Communities charge up front; like a condo purchase.

In a Life Care Community assisted living services are available; some are covered by long term insurance, others may not be. Assisted Living places don't have nursing homes on site, Life Care Communities do. We have a Wellness Clinic, staffed all day except Saturday afternoons and Sunday, but nurses are available from the nursing home in emergency. And remember: Assisted Living does not necessarily include the availability of skilled nursing, but may be limited to the sevices provided by aides, such as dressing, bathing, etc.

All these things are points to consider, taking into account your present needs, what needs you see down the road, what you can afford to pay.

Phoenix is right: the idea of a double move - and purchasing a condo could very well mean exactly that in a few years - is not a good one. You say that your husband is in good health except for his short-term memory. I am probably telling you what you already know, but sad to say, this could imply greater difficulties in the future. In that case, you would already want to be in a place where you could get the appropriate help. I don't know about Assisted living communities, but I do know that Life Care Communities tend to have specific standards of physical and mental health for admittance. This being so, sooner rather than later is the best time to start looking around.

QUOTE]You will hate it when some low class, dark skinned peon brings you cold tea.

TomKitten - could you provide where you are located? For future reference for my grandmother - I live south of Boston so this will be helpful to me/types of costs expected, etc.

You could send me a PM or if you feel uncomfortable about providing this - safety reasons, etc. I will understand.

Assisted living
Okay, here's my situation as of this minute:

My husband panics if I leave him to do errands, so I have to rely on others for simple things like new light bulbs - our main living room light needs a new one. BUT our retirement community has a little shop downstairs, and the owner will pick up bulbs for me tomorrow. I couldn't go out to the market,myself, so I just bought grapes and an avocado for lunch from the shop. Another vitally needed lamp has just stopped working; Maintenance will come tomorrow morning to see about fixing it.

Wednesday afternoon Natalie will come to clean; we have cleaning services every two weeks included in the maintenance fee, but I'm happy to pay the small sum charged for cleaning in between.

Last week I had a doctor's appointment, the temperature was 13F, and I didn't want to drive myself in case parking was a problem; we have drivers to take people to local appointments, (no charge) so I used that service.

If we hadn't moved here I'd be in real trouble - we have no family to help out; I have cousins I'm close to, but they live in other states.