Please allow me to introduce Dinky.

Yeah. Reminds me of all the analysis that went into the kid who drew nothing but black pictures in kindergarten. Someone with real street smarts finally asked the kid, himself. They lined them up alphabetically to get the crayolas, and the poor kid was named Zickerfoos. Black was all that was left.

Oh lord! I was joking!

I think Dinky is weird and funny.

Penny dropped:

If I had just returned from a visit with my bio family, a mutable and unreliable collection of sometimes-fun people, I would create a family memory/member that was enduring.

Whether or not Mo is acquainted with the nature of balloons, I do not know but if you can hang in there, Dinky's days are numbered.

He could have been inspired by a cannonball, you know.

Oh, I didn't read anything into Dinky either!

This reminds me of a weird "friend" I made as a kid. I was a creative kid like Mo is, and I made myself a toy out of a long skinny spring, which I sewed a fur "skin" for. I made suits for him, a dressing gown, bermuda shorts (one-legged, since he was some sort of worm-type creature), luggage for his wardrobe, and named him Stickfur. He traveled with me and everything.

Later when I told people about this, they read a whole 'nother meaning into the name and shape of the lil guy...it had certainly never occurred to me! Mo and his funny games and characters and stuff reminds me very much of myself... I think he's just got a fertile imagination and some of the stuff he comes up with is bound to seem a little off-the-wall sometimes.

Boomer, I didn't mean anything by my smartass remark either. I certainly had imaginary friends and sometimes made them real with whatever was at hand.

Dinky is bound to have a short but happy life with Mo until Mo finds something more interesting.

Well, hell, I thought Dinky is phallic in a sorta strange way, but didn't get around to saying that. But that's an adult response. Liking objects comes, oops, shows up before all that. He gets attached, possibly even like I was attached to my ragdoll, Daisy. Presumably this'll pass, or else it will be part of a lineup of attachments.

Dinky is gone. Hurrah.

I didn't mean to get all freaked out and in need of reassurance. Mo is kind of a quirky kid and sometimes after visits with bios he acts really weird. If I thought any harm was being done I wouldn't let him go but I guess sometimes I snap into awarness that "harm" comes in many disguises.

Here is our current bit of weirdness ---

This one has me a little puzzled ----

When Mo gets out of the bath we usually have a little dry off cuddle time. Tuesday night I was singing "You are my sunshine" as we dried him off.

He wanted me to sing it as "daughtershine"

Then as "Moshine"

Then wanted to know if you could just put any old word in there and I said "Sure" and he decided he wanted it to stay "SON shine".

Okey-dokey.

Since then he has wanted me to sing the "song where you dream you held me in your arms" about a hundred times (no exaggeration).

He says he likes the song because "it makes tears come in my eyes".

Then he wanted me to make up a verse where a naughty storm cloud stole my son shine and locked him up in a little cage.

So I did, adding another vesse about me rescuing my son -shine from the naughty storm cloud.

Even with the happy ending added it still really does make him cry a little bit. Not like boo-hoo crying but just little teary eyes crying.

This morning I only had to sing it about nine times. I tell him I don't like to sing songs that make him cry but he insists that it is good.

What's up with that, O Mighty Experts?

errr, some of us - boys and girls alike - like songs that make us kinda sentimentally teary. it's a good feeling. really. it can be.

Yeah. I think it can be a bonding sort of thing. It reminds me of the hospital story:

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=757192#757192

(Long post, it's about halfway down.)

Something about being loved so much. That's good.

http://www.43things.com/

happy tears are on the list

http://www.43things.com/things/view/382136

wiki even comments on it



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tears

(and hasn't someone else posted about their discomfort with other's not-unhappy tears? I know it's come up for me IRL)

Boomer--



Mo may have a future career in child therapy. Or perhaps as an author of children's books.

As I remember, most two-year-olds go through repetitive rituals, through repetitive rituals, through repetitive rituals.....

Over and over and over.

Mo didn't have a conventional, "normal", third year, so he's doing a bit of overlap now.

He's lived through the real abandonment and rescue when he had no control. Now, by commanding, The Son-Shine Song he can relive the hurt and confusion with a guaranteed happy ending. That "Guaranteed Happy Ending" is very powerful, very important. He can endure the trauma because he knows the Happy Ending is coming.

Mo is closing a chapter in his life and eventually the The Son-Shine Song will be as dead as Dinky. Do you have to "rescue" him from the wheelbarrow any more? From the bookcase?

Would you rather that he insisted on slaying his monsters in the living room armed with a homemade mace and a 12 foot roof rake?

Enjoy the bathos. It is the best bathos.

boomer, how aware is Mo of what's going on with the adoption?

I just had an idea, and went through about 80 posts where you use the word "son" to see how many referred to Mo. (As in, not "your son," or "son of a bitch" or whatever.)

Aside from here, as far as I can tell the only one was addressed to Spendius, about a month ago, in future tense: "I've been working towards adopting him for the last two years and this summer it will most likely become final. He will really and truly be my son."

I remember the discussion about calling you mom -- or not.

While what you say here may well not reflect what you say in real life, I can see that it would be tremendously emotional -- in a good way -- for Mo to have you call him his son. He's wanted this every bit as much as you have.

OK so I just looked more carefully and found two more references on the first page (oops) but still, I think the basic principle could apply.

Interesting, interesting.

I guess I'd never really considered that little kids would cry happy tears. (The hospital story -- wow!)

Mo is very aware of the adoption. We are not at all secretive about it but we try to keep everything age appropriate. I'm sure he even understands more than I think he does.

In real life he is typically referred to as our son - there are not that many people who know the whole story but there are some, who, like the people here, have been in on it as it developed.

When he wanted to call us "mom and dad" we went along with it but we did think long and hard about it. We have tried not to make promises that we weren't sure we could keep. That seemed to be a sure way to ensure future "stuff" if we weren't able to adopt him.

The "I'm your son" stuff started within the last year and the "Son-shine" song just this week.

Perhaps he is just picking up on the relief of having this almost over and our future together being sure.

Soz--

Very insightful.

You can be as overwhelmed by happy as you can be overwhelmed by sad.

... or overwhelmed by beauty ... or joy ...

Intense emotions need outlets. Happy tears can be healthy (IMNSHO).

I agree.

To simplify a bit, I think that even if the word "son" wasn't a part of this at the beginning, it would make sense to me that what this is about is general joy, relief, and love unleashed by the fact that you soon will really truly and forever be mother and son.

(OK now I'm getting weepy...)

Soz, your responses have made my get all teary because of their beauty and honest expressions of love.

Boomer, the fact that Mo, your son, wants to be called your son says so much; some sadness with feelings of abandonment, but mostly his request is filled with love and reassuring the knowledge that you do think of him as your son. In his place, I'd sure want to hear it as often as possible until it became a permanent fact.

Schniff.......

Aww...I started this thread with a silly grin at Dinky, and now I'm getting teary.