There is also another situation that bears thinking about ...
What if a mother leaves her newborn child in the care of her mother and say, takes off for several years and/or abuses drugs and does not spend the majority of her time raising her own child, etc., etc? The grandmother practically raises the child, no help from her own child, no money, has to pay for clothing, food, diapers, etc., then when child is, say four years old, mother comes back, snatches up child and moves to Timbucktoo. That too is surely wrong. I think there can arise a situation from grandparents that are clearly unfair.
If a parent of a child expects to have fully custody then they should be shown to be the clear parent (and by that I mean that they provide love, time, and sustenance to said child).
Heeven- Interesting scenario- There needs to be a law. If a child is abandoned by its mother, the child needs to be eligible for adoption after a certain length of time. Then that grandparents could adopt the child.
Wait....I think there is a law. The grandparents could go to court, state that the child has been abandoned by its mother, and is therefore unfit. When the mother is declared unfit, the granparents can petition the court for adoption.
Any legal experts around to comment on this?
From one of my posts on page 1 of this thread:
Quote:There may be other laws out there but the only one I could find earlier when I searched the PA Code said that they had to have provided full care of the child for 12 continous months to have standing to file for permanent partial custody status.
It's in the law in PA... Not sure about other states but I'd guess that most are pretty much in line with that.
Phoenix said "Wait....I think there is a law. The grandparents could go to court, state that the child has been abandoned by its mother, and is therefore unfit. When the mother is declared unfit, the granparents can petition the court for adoption"
this is accurate in most states as well the legal process of guardianship in which it is not necessary file Dependent and Neglected status of the child against the birth mother/father.
Grandparents have no legal right on their grandchildren in Germany, if the children themselves, parents and/or guardian don't want so.
Usually, grandparents should adopt their grandchildren
a) because of the difference in age,
b) generally adoption among relatives isn't liked much ( > causes perhaps more legal trouble), when one parent still is alive.
I fully agree with fishin'...unless there are extenuating circumstances, the Mother has every right to do as she pleases with her life, and that includes her child!
This is a difficult question. I am a happy grandmother, with five grandsons whom I adore unreservedly, and children whom I respect and think are great. So, my situation being a winner, I sit in a catbird seat.
But when you reach grandparent stage, mortality starts staring you in the face, and grandchildren assume a special role in your life. And while the role of parenting properly belongs with the parents, grandparents also play a vital part. Everything is linked. And in certain cases a very real fear sneaks in. Children and grandchildren get older at an alarming rate, and believe me, we are only too well aware of time passing. So there is no easy answer, and while I agree that the daughter has her own life to live, I can also understand the grandparent fear. I don't see it as selfish, but rather as a desire to continue a chain.
On the other side, my daughter's mother-in-law, who has always lived within at least a 30 minute drive, has never gone to visit, and seems uninterested in her grandsons. She says it's too far to drive. This has been hurtful for years, and I feel so bad for my son-in-law, who is damn near perfect, and wished for his sons to have a relationship with his mother. Incidentally, for years she lived across the street from me. Every time I volunteered to take her, she had another excuse. I don't know her reasons (this is not limited only to her son), but she is missing something good.
