Becoming a good Waitress..

<giggle> "whoops dropped a fork, again! How clumsy of me!" <giggle>

You just, like, balance the thing on your hand, like. T'aint rocket science, and even butt ugly people can do it! <giggle>

And never let my coffee cup get empty. I don't expect much, but a constant supply of fresh hot brew will definitely earn you a bigger tip.

I waited tables years and years ago and was damn good at it. The first and most important thing you must master is the ability to make your customers think you give a **** about them and their needs... once you can convince them of that, you should do well. :wink:

Be both attentive and inconspicuous.

Perky waitstaff who interrupt table conversation two or three times with, "Everything Ok here?" don't deserve big tips. Ask softly, "Can I bring you anything else?" and exit silently.

whatever you do, DO NOT spit in the food...

unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure no one is watching....

Or at least, don't let anyone see ya do it . . .

Bend from the knees. (This may not make sense right now but trust me, one day you will understand.)

NEVER ask "do you need change?" when picking up a check. Assume they want change. Always make sure that change comes in an assortment of of demoninations.

A good way to be attentive and inconspicuous is to carry around a pitcher of water with an eye on keeping water glasses full. Even if they don't need refilling, stopping for a quick look gives the table an opportunity to speak to you if they need to.

Oh sure, answer the question reasonably and give good advice, so that the rest of us look like the jerks we've been . . .

Good point about the water pitcher, Boomer.

Speaking of work-- It's going to take every American doing their job to the utmost limits of their ability to help implement our great President's bold vision of victory in Iraq! But I'm sure if we all pitch in that victory in Iraq is just around the corner!

About balancing, and walking with a tray: Get the food balanced on the tray. Get a good hold on it. As you walk toward the table, DON'T LOOK AT THE TRAY. Look at the path in front of you. As my Gramma Marge told me, "You won't trip over the coffee cup on the tray. You'll trip over the fork on the floor, and if you're looking at the cup, trying not to spill, you won't see the fork!"