Write the worst song - ever!

Someone beat me to it!

Artist: Mellowdrone
Song: Worst song ever

Go to sleep
Go to sleep
I'll watch you slip
Spider bite panic attack
I'm lost for words
What more can my friend do
Make a mess
Make a mess
Ill make you cry
Leave you there wondering why
The floors all gone
I know that I really cant sing
Especially when these words are useless
On and on
And on and on I go
I came here slowly falling down the stairs
Taking everything thats in its way
Apologize, I apologized to you
In and out
In and out is what well do
I am stumbling after you
Thank god youre here
Lover and a wreck
Throw it out
Throw it out youll look divine
Just as simple little lie and then were done
I know that I really cant sing
Especially when these words are useless
On and on
And On and on I go
I came here before slowly falling down the stairs
Taking everything thats in its way
Apologize I apologized to you
Big part
You finally made it
Knock knock baby answer the door
Be late
I'm stuck in traffic
I shouldnt have guessed but I'm down on the floor
Waterproof then I'll do it again
Waterproof then I'll do it again
Waterproof then I'll do it again
I got the nerve
I swear I tell you
I got the nerve
I shouldnt assume
Assuming
Assuming
Assuming
I came here before falling down the stairs
Taking everything thats in its way
Apologize I apologize to you

In Chicago cafes they serve fried butterflies
And they taste just the way that I love you
Soldier boy

I will be back with a few, hopefully. I have to say though that some of the songs being belittled are actually good.

Do the insect
Do the butterfly
Here in Chicago
Where the Americans get high
It's so sweet
It's filled with sugar and love
It's important to avoid cavities
So be sure to brush, rinse and spit, my love
And God will remember this
always!!!!!!

I'm startin' to break
Out of my chrysalis
As I fly to Chicago
On business

Makin' my money
Sellin' to the Corps
Caskets that get to
Transport a corpse

I think I'm about to
Take off and fly
Stretchin' new wings
When they make the buy

I'll jump off the roof
And disappear
It that or get drunk
And cry in-to my beer

I'm a real sick f*ck
To be a war profiteer

On a radio episode of The Lucky Strike Program, otherwise known as Jack Benny, Jack heard how a songwriter made a bundle off a hit song. He immediately went home and wrote the following:

When you say I beg your pardon
Then I'll come back to you
When you ask me to forgive you
Then I'll return
Like the swallows to Capistrano -

Memory fails, but you get the gist of it.

What about that awful Barry Manilow song-- Cocacabana...

this reminds me of the story about the elements that make up a perfect country song, mamma, pickup trucks, dogs, rainy nights, prisons, trains etc

and the perfect country song

it was raining the night
my mamma got out of prison
so through my old hound
into my pickup truck
and headed out to
the ralroad station

I love this song but it really does have all the characteristics of a baaad country tune.
Johnny Cash's
The Man who couldn't Cry


There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob

His novel was refused, his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop

He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face

Doctors were called in, scientists, too
Theologians were last and practically least

They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast

He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain

Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died

Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out

Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought

The worst song ever written in my humble opinion is Richard Harris's McArthur Park.

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why
MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!

I nominate "Diary"


I found her diary underneath a tree.
and started reading about me
The words she's written took me by surpise
you'd never read them in her eyes.
They said that she had found the love she waited for.
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it.

When she confronted with the writing there,
simply pretended not to care.
I passed it off as just in keeping with
her total disconcerting air
and though she tried to hide
the love that she denied,
wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it.

And as I go through my life, I will give to her my wife
all the sweet things that I can find.

I found her diary underneath a tree.
and started reading about me.
The words began stick and tears to flow.
Her meaning now was clear to see.
The love she'd waited for was someone else not me
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it.

and as I go through my life, I will wish for her his wife
all the sweet things that she can find
all the sweet things they can find

this one sits pretty high on my list

gotta love this line

"'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain"

A Horse With No Name

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After nine days I let the horse run free
'cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

Having second thoughts. I once started a thread titled, Songs that Suck, and stirred up some angry feelings. Guess I will skip this thread for that reason.

djjd!!! I can't believe it! You posted my all-time most hated song!!!

Not only are the lyrics bad, but there are only three notes in the whole melody. (Okay, five in the chorus.) It's the most monotonous tune I've ever heard, and the awful lyrics make it downright unbearable.

I thought I was the only one who desperatedly wants to shoot that horse.

I've seen him in concert... David Allan Coe....

>Clearing throat<

A friend of mine named Steve Goodwin wrote this song...

And I went to pick it up...and he told me it was the perfect country and western song

And After I read it, I told him it wasn't the most perfect country and western song..

It didn't have anything to do with trains, mommas, pickup trucks, or gettin' drunk

So he turned around and wrote another verse to this song, and it goes sumthin' like this...

I was drunk...the day my mom...got out of prison

And I went.... to pick her up.....in the rain....

But before.... I ...could get to the station ....in my pickup truck....

She got run'd over by a damned old train

So I'll hang around as you will let me....

And I never did mind standing in the rain.....

And you don't have to call me darlin' ...darlin'...

You never even called me by my name.......

Ohhhhh...even with having seen him in concert....he is still the most god awful singer.......lol He's just notorious....and the parties are great!

Roly roly roly roly roly (ETC ad infinitum)

I cant remember who sang it but thats all there was in the way of words variouse emphasises on the word Roly gave it some chatrachteristics .......but not much

A butterfly landed
on Mrs. O'Leary's cow
And I'd salute our flag
if I could only remember how
you know I love my honey
and sugar tastes so sweet
anyone can sing this song
along a typical Main Street

Main Street
Main Street
Belt it to the sky
Main Street
Main Street
Don't have to ask why
Main Street
Main Street
sing it up to the sky
Main Street
Main Street
do it now or die

The cow she kicked the bucket
and the butterfly is dead
I might as well say flip it*
just get out of my head
everyone should understand this
everyone should love their fellow man
but that sounds too much like Brokeback
so do whatever you can

*Radio edit of obvious rhyme

Main Street
Main Street

has been stuck in my head all day