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Fri 31 Mar, 2006 05:10 am
My neighbour's son comes over to our place quite often to play with my son. They are the same age and get along well.
Day before yesterday, they were playing together at the park in evening, I was accompanying my son and the babysitter was accompaning my son's friend. On our way back from the park, my neighbour's son said he wished to come over and play with my son for some more time. I agreed and asked the babysitter. She said OK and said she will let his Mom know that he is with me. So I brought both of them home with me.
Yesterday again, the boy pleaded with the babysitter. And the babysitter said "Don't you remember how mad your Mum was yesterday for going over to their place? So NO, today you are not going" And I am wondering.. what the hell, why would his Mum be upset. He comes over every so often, what was so different about yesterday? I am a bit turned off from that message.
What do you think? Was it because I did not ask for her permission before bringing her son? Would that be such a big deal?
Maybe she wanted her babysitter to do her job instead of dropping the child off with you.
Hi, where's the kiddo?
'Over at the neighbor's'
And what you are doing here?
See?
Joe(Yes. I have an answer for everything.)Nation
I don't think it has anything to do with you.
When I was reading your story and heard the babysitter said "ok, I'll tell his mom he's with you", I thought 'That is weird and not right'.
As a babysitter, I would never hand over the child to someone else, on my watch and time, without first having direct permission from the parents child.
Perhaps this mother was scared and upset at the babysitter, but dealt with it by making it clear with her anger that she did not approve of the babysitter's choice of handing over responsibility (to you, but could have been anybody).
Make any sense? That's what I think. You could always ask.
I think Flushed is right and the babysitter should have at least gotten permission.
It's not the babysitters call as to what the child does during the time she/he was hired for the job.
I truly don't think it had anything to do with you personally.
Thank you for the perspective. I never thought of that. She may be upset with the babysitter.
But I am still a little disturbed. Would it be OK to ask her? This can be a little sensitive thing to talk about. So I was wondering if I should wait and see her (my neighbour's) behavior for sometime and if she seems OK then let the matter rest.
If you don't see any changes in your neighbor from here on, I'd just let it go.
If you mention what the babysitter said, it could cause more friction there, so I think this is just one of those times where it's better left unsaid.
If their son continues to come play with your son, you'll know it's not personal, but if he stops coming, then I would maybe ask the neighbor if anything was wrong.
I know if I was in the same situation as the mother of the boy, I would have been a bit ticked off at the babysitter as well, so this is how I'm seeing it.
I'm with everyone else, I think it was directed towards the babysitter, not you. I wouldn't worry about it, they were probably upset that the babysitter was getting paid for nothing.
Or that the babysitter made a bad judgement call.
I would have been ticked off because I would have hired that babysitter to look after my child and the babysitter is not at liberty to leave my child with anyone without me knowing about it.
Yeah, my typical response to requests from children to come over is "I'll talk to your mom and we'll make a play date." Unless mom is standing right there and appears to be ok with it, in which case I ask her outright. I respond the same way to my kids when they ask to go visit friends but there's no parent around to communicate that invitation with.
FreeDuck.. exactly what I was thinking of. May be ask the Mom before taking the kid over to our place. Whenever he came to our place, both of us were always there. So coming over without her permission never happened. Next time I will call and make sure.
Well, she called yesterday evening, asking if she could ask her babysitter to send her son to my place. She was not at home and her son was again asking to come over to our place.
Sounds like all is well in the end :-)
Oh right on. Glad everything worked out.
Good job everyone
Somehow this makes me feel like whistling the "Leave it to Beaver song" :-)
Something tells me Mum needs a new babysitter... what the hell kind of babysitter sends the kid off with another parent and doesn't go with them?!
LoveMyFamily wrote:FreeDuck.. exactly what I was thinking of. May be ask the Mom before taking the kid over to our place. Whenever he came to our place, both of us were always there. So coming over without her permission never happened. Next time I will call and make sure.
Well, she called yesterday evening, asking if she could ask her babysitter to send her son to my place. She was not at home and her son was again asking to come over to our place.
Good deal. Glad it all worked out in the end.
She might not have had angst about whether her son was actually invited. I get that way sometimes if I feel like my kids invited themselves somewhere, and I wasn't there to make sure that it was really ok with the other parent. Sounds like you two have it all worked out though. It's nice to have good neighbors and to have other kids in the neighborhood for your kids to play with.
Bekaboo wrote:Something tells me Mum needs a new babysitter... what the hell kind of babysitter sends the kid off with another parent and doesn't go with them?!
Nah, I think the babysitter gets it now. She's probably a young girl who didn't give it any thought until it was explained to her.
No harm done and she learned a lesson, so I think she deserved another chance.
Montana wrote:Bekaboo wrote:Something tells me Mum needs a new babysitter... what the hell kind of babysitter sends the kid off with another parent and doesn't go with them?!
Nah, I think the babysitter gets it now. She's probably a young girl who didn't give it any thought until it was explained to her.
No harm done and she learned a lesson, so I think she deserved another chance.
Yes I would think so too Montana. And her son's coming over is so frequent, I don't think the babysitter even thought twice before letting him come over with me neither did it ring a bell for me that I should ask his Mom before bringing him over. It was a lesson learnt for me as well
I try not to think too much about this but my neighbour is trying to sound extra friendly since this incident. Wondering if the babysitter told her that she mentioned her getting upset to me. I don't think there is any point even trying to make sense out of these. So I will just let it rest with her and continue like before.
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