16
   

50,000 Errors in the Bible...Is Bible God's Word??

 
 
Glennn
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Aug, 2016 01:54 pm
@cicerone imposter,
He has no answer.

Going further into the story, we find that Balaam's response to the talking ass is highly inconsistent. The ass asks Balaam why he has beaten him. Instead of his jaw dropping to the ground, Balaam starts in on the ass by answering his question and speaking his mind, accusing the ass of mocking him.

I think I speak for many when I say: what's wrong with this picture?
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Aug, 2016 02:13 pm
@Glennn,
It's not the only talking ass in literature.

“Did I ever tell you about the man
who taught his asshole to talk?

His whole abdomen would move up and down,
you dig, farting out the words.

It was unlike anything I ever heard.

Bubbly, thick, stagnant sound.

A sound you could smell.

This man worked for the carnival,you dig?

And to start with it was
like a novelty ventriloquist act.

After a while,
the ass started talking on its own.

He would go in
without anything prepared...

and his ass would ad-lib
and toss the gags back at him every time.

Then it developed sort of teethlike...

little raspy incurving hooks
and started eating.

He thought this was cute at first
and built an act around it...

but the asshole would eat its way through
his pants and start talking on the street...

shouting out it wanted equal rights.

It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags.
Nobody loved it.

And it wanted to be kissed,
same as any other mouth.

Finally, it talked all the time,
day and night.

You could hear him for blocks,
screaming at it to shut up...

beating at it with his fists...

and sticking candles up it, but...

nothing did any good,
and the asshole said to him...

"It is you who will shut up
in the end, not me...

"because we don't need you
around here anymore.

I can talk and eat and ****."

After that, he began waking up
in the morning with transparentjelly...

like a tadpole's tail
all over his mouth.

He would tear it off his mouth
and the pieces would stick to his hands...

like burning gasoline jelly
and grow there.

So, finally, his mouth sealed over...

and the whole head...

would have amputated spontaneously
except for the eyes, you dig?

That's the one thing
that the asshole couldn't do was see.

It needed the eyes.

Nerve connections were blocked...

and infiltrated and atrophied.

So, the brain couldn't
give orders anymore.

It was trapped inside the skull...

sealed off.

For a while, you could see...

the silent, helpless suffering
of the brain behind the eyes.

And then finally
the brain must have died...

because the eyes went out...

and there was no more feeling in them
than a crab's eye at the end of a stalk.”
― William S. Burroughs, Naked Lunch
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Aug, 2016 02:16 pm
@izzythepush,
Quote:
“Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk?


I always believed that was a condition of all animals.
0 Replies
 
CVeigh
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Aug, 2016 10:13 am
@dalahow2,
Just the most silly post. You MUST be a teenager. Where is the drop-dead error.
50 000 means "I don't have any reason so let me unleash a snowstorm of obfuscation" What a child.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Aug, 2016 10:30 am
@izzythepush,
Welcome to Annexia..
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Aug, 2016 11:33 am
@izzythepush,
Quote:
It's not the only talking ass in literature.

I know. There's also Francis. I saw and heard him with my own eyes!
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Aug, 2016 02:09 pm
@CVeigh,
http://eubc.eusu.ed.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Do-you-have-any-idea-how-fast-you-were-scrolling.jpeg
0 Replies
 
CVeigh
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Aug, 2016 01:21 pm
@dalahow2,
That was a devastating takedown of your position but you ignore it. So, do you have any one single Error ? My children do what you do, You ask for a reason and they give you 50 because they have no reason.
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Aug, 2016 02:09 am
@CVeigh,
But I repeat myself

http://eubc.eusu.ed.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Do-you-have-any-idea-how-fast-you-were-scrolling.jpeg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Oct, 2016 04:53 pm
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/1d/66/c3/1d66c3f0aa6e8e79c1d4803cf4984678.jpg
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Oct, 2016 05:00 pm
@hingehead,
Quote:
Love Your Enemies
(Leviticus 24:17-23; Luke 6:27-36)
38You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.’h 39But I tell you not to resist an evil person. If someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also; 40if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well; 41and if someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

43You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’i 44But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,j 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Do not even tax collectors do the same? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even Gentiles do the same?

48Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.


hinge, Hold your laugh, now.
0 Replies
 
glenmedved
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Nov, 2016 10:04 pm
@dalahow2,
"Wow, that makes no sense."

... believe me, He lives in no sense.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Nov, 2016 03:58 am
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/37/34/be/3734beeb4c5f7269a88dc1703337cbaf.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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