Sheep - a poem in one sentence

There you go again, being incorrigible.

I wasn't saying that I'd participate in any of those fun and games Mathos. I was just stating what I've observed. You seem to like to create and embody characters. You also have quite an authoritarian air about you. Apparently, from what you stated, you and Miss Pilkington were into some role playing games. I just put all those facts together and deduced that you would probably enjoy pretending to be a sheriff, contrary to what you expressed. And you don't need me to dress up as Calamity Jane. The real thing is right here - maybe you could enlist her help in staging your play.

I'm just trying to help you get your creative juices flowing. You seem to have fond memories about your exploits with Miss Pilkington. As inappropriate as your exploits were, and actually because they were inappropriate and somewhat illicit, I believe it would make an interesting story. Again, I'm referring to your exploits with Miss Pilkington, not with me. We haven't had any exploits to write about Mathos - remember? I'm a real person whom you've never met in person. We don't have any memories or incidents to write about. And this whole dressing up and acting out thing is really not me at all. I'm not really into acting or role playing. I'm more into imagining and writing. I meant that you and Miss Pilkington having such similar interests and meeting each other was your karma or whatever. I always wonder about stuff like that. I mean, which of you brought up the role-playing first. Did the other person think it was a little weird at first or did you both just jump in with both feet?

My karma has nothing to do with it. I'm not looking for a role-play partner. I think I'd find it hard to keep from laughing and totally ruin the mood to be honest with you. (Although I do find it interesting that two otherwise intelligent people who are willing to indulge in talking about such silliness encountering on a forum is kind of karmic ...I'm beginning to feel a real kinship towards you Mathos).

Your description of yourself is quite intriguing... but then I have to remember that you're married, a grandfather...Mathos - let's just write a story. And I think we should keep it innocent. We don't want any further misunderstandings.

I put the sprinkler on while the kids and I were playing badmitton last night. It was really refreshing, although I didn't leave it on long, I always feel so guilty about wasting water -even when I'm watering the garden.

Another hot one - can you believe it? How long do you think this heat wave is going to last?

My friend, Doc Benwright, he reckons your an intellectual playing hard to get Miss.


Well regarding the weather Miss, I find it extremely enjoyable when I can relax, but I (along with the majority of the population) have work to do and the heat is definitely slowing everybody down.

According to my mate Ralphs mother, and she is pretty good at predicting the weather it will be a very hot summer until late September, personally I just take each day as it comes and listen to professional forecasts.

Goodnight Miss.


PS Miss, I see that penny turned up again :wink:

Mathos said: 'My friend, Doc Benwright, he reckons your an intellectual playing hard to get Miss'.

Aidan responded: I can't get my quotes to work, so I have to make up my own method of quoting you today Mathos. (You have to excuse my typos - I'm on an Engliish keyboard today and they are ever so slightly different from my usual American one - just enough to throw me off now and then, so please forgive any mistakes, okay?).

But I want to address something you said that illustrates something I said before. Dr. Benwright has me all wrong. I'm not an intellectual. I enjoy learning and some intellectual activities, but I would never classify myself as an intellectual. I've known too many real intellectuals to flatter myself with that title.

Secondly, I never play hard to get. If there's something I know I want, I go for it. I just have to be sure that it's exactly what I want.

So you see, because he's never met me - Dr. Benwright has me figured out all wrong. A doctor can't diagnose a patient he or she has never met.

Mathos said: 'Well regarding the weather Miss, I find it extremely enjoyable when I can relax, but I (along with the majority of the population) have work to do and the heat is definitely slowing everybody down.'

Aidan responded: Yes, but isn't it so beautiful with the sun shining on all the fields? I even think the grasses drying from green and into gold and brown makes it even more stunning. You just have to conserve your energy and find a nice, cool breeze every now and then. Do you have a fan?

I thought it was going to thunderstorm last night. The wind did pick up and was much cooler for a while there. But, in the end, not a drop of rain.

Mathos said: 'According to my mate Ralphs mother, and she is pretty good at predicting the weather it will be a very hot summer until late September, personally I just take each day as it comes and listen to professional forecasts'.

Aidan responded: I'm the same.


Mathos said: PS Miss, I see that penny turned up again :wink:

Aidan responded: Yes, I was wondering where he had gotten to.

That was a really crappy response Miss, all that 'he said, I said stuff!'

We are never going to get this book on the road if your not committed to it! Are we?

I put a really good day's work in today Miss and I expected some decent material from you, Miss Pilkingotn would never have given me a response of that nature.

If you don't knuckle down and get your act together, I'm going to have to seek an alternative co-writer.

Am I making myself perfectly clear Miss?

Okay, I'm ready. Get started and I'll follow along.

And by the way - I worked really hard giving you all sorts of good material last night. I went along, (very agreeably and even somewhat over-excitedly I might add) with your fruit, custard and cream conceits - even though I have no idea where that's all leading. For all I know, it could just be another dead end. And speaking of dead ends, why are we revisiting the gardening and bath themes. I think we've done those to death - don't you?

We need to agree on some characters and at least the beginning of a plot (we can kind of go with the flow and flesh it out as we go along).
We need a setting, a time frame, and some agreement on what genre we'll be working in.

I'm leaving it up to you. But in reality, I think you're already working on a project and you're just stringing me along. I don't believe you want to write with me. I think you just want me to keep writing stuff you can make fun of. I can go either way. Just let me know, okay?

And another thing- I did happen to see that video you mentioned last night.

Of course I thought you were talking about that eighties song - Call on Me which I think had the somewhat famous video where the real people turn into comic book characters and then at the end step back out into reality or something like that. I could have it all wrong- but anyway -I'm curious as to what you found interesting about that video.

The guy was cute and the girls were all pretty in an angry, predatory, souless sort of way. What I find most amazing though is the sameness of all of them. They're all exactly the same size, wearing the same expression, doing the same moves. There was something really grim and humorless about the whole thing - like they were working really hard to present an image that brought them no happiness. Where's the joy in that?

I didn't like it - but I think I can guess what you liked about it.

Well yes, that's no surprise at all is it Nellie? Conclusion jumping is simply your second name.

I happen to have a financial involvement with the company supplying the leotards and other gymnasium clothing as used in the video. Is that some kind of crime, or can you tell me why you have to surface like a fourteen year olds 'dodger' when he watches his first porno movie?

And come on Nellie, 'Where's the joy in that'

Get real young lady, that video made a few million, and your writing it off like a punchy boxer falls foul of the anti-boxing critics of the noble sport.

Looks to me like that idiot is giving you a hard time so your huffing and blowing at anyone in bellowing distance. Exactly what that load of Spendi-code was with the Mayflower and Laurel and Hardy bit I have no idea.

I have to bring myself to the conclusion that he is totally 'bonkers' or, he is a genius and none of us are intelligent enough to realise it.

I'm actually disappointed in you Nellie, your also accusing me of double standards above, and on the alter thread your making out I have supernatural powers.

There is a possibility that you could be right in that department, the government are presently conducting a series of tests, for which I have to attend their private clinic in the south. There is nothing conclusive at this moment in time, but I assure you, I will advise you accordingly at the moment of knowledge.

One question Mathos - and there's absolutely no judgement attached on my part- Do you enjoy watching porn?

Just curious.

The problem I had with that video has nothing to do with a puritanical attitude -which I do not have in any way, shape or form.

It has to do with the fact that in my mind it showed something I know to be unique and fluid, sensual and beautiful to be something rigid and mechanical and jerky and unappealing. Kind of like porn.

But hey - to each his or her own.

Maybe that's your cup of tea.

(Money's money - art is art- just because something makes money- doesn't make it art).

Stupid question that Aidan. When porn films first came out on 8mm film, it was all the go, so to speak. Like everything else in life it has it's place. I would never go out of my way to watch porn, and I would not deem it a requirement to purchase a porn movie, unless perhaps, somebody I knew was alleged to be in it. That I daresay would interest me for a brief moment in time. Now, if I visit my mate Ralph, when he is home, I can expect porn on in his room 24 hours a day, I would watch it for a while, because Ralph would no doubt have some particular scene he found stimulating in one way or another and would want to show it, time and time and time and time again.

Does that satisfy your most peculiar inquisitive nature?


You try telling Madonna she isn't art.

I didn't say what Madonna does isn't art. Actually, a lot of what she has done in the past appeals to me. At certain times, I think she has a beautiful voice, she's kind of mesmerizing to watch as a dancer and she can be incredibly sensuous and beautiful in her movements - even as she simulates sex. But what she does is totally different than what those women in that video (as a group) were doing.

Maybe that's the difference. Madonna always maintains her individuality. That video was just rank and file tits and ass. You couldn't separate one out from another.

(I was really disappointed in Madonna's latest effort - she abandoned her art and ran for the money in my opinion- but again- I understand that in someone elses - her latest effort might certainly be considered art).

Contradict yourself all night Lady Jayne.

Tits and arse, wether or not they belong to Madonna or some 'bonny lass' in the aforementioned video are 'sales material' That makes all of it art.

You just don't like the fact that your tits and arse are not commanding the masses of raised eyes alone that the video's can.

If you turned up the ball in your fancy new swaying party frock, and somebody else walked in wearing it's twin, wouldn't you show us all how you could stomp. and then some?

If the female body did not appeal to me, I would buy a brand new gun (in case my existing old one mis-fired) and I would shoot myself.

It is absolutely beautiful there is nothing like it on the planet, women who take good care of their bodies deserve major applause.

For the life of me, I am unable to see anything wrong in my thoughts on women in general and I am proud of the fact that I love to see femininity and sexuality.

If that gives you a problem, go take a hike lady, I need your thoughts like I need two holes in my head.

I understand the appeal. I found their bodies (taken one at a time) amazing as well. But I found it hard to focus on an individual form as it was presented as such a mish-mash of body parts being displayed and moved in such a distracting fashion.

I guess that's what bothered me - none of those girls were presented as a thinking, breathing woman- or even as a beautiful female form in any sort of completion. They were all just kind of mean looking faces attached to jerky limbs.

Why are you so angry at me because I didn't like it? I said I understood why you (or any other man) might.

I really don't care if you like it or not. It doesn't change my opinion of you in any way. And it doesn't threaten my view of myself as a woman. I'm just a different type of woman. I'm no better or worse - and yeah- I wouldn't mind having a dancer's body like that - I just don't know if I'd use mine in that fashion if I did. That's all I'm saying.

I wouldn't mind having a dancers body like that. Thankyou Nellie Gump


The first step on any road to recovery, admitting your problems and or deficiencies.



Exactly, what is your opinion of me?

See the questions thread.

I gotta go. My friend came back and he wants his house, dog and computer back. I'll talk to you later.

Well I hope your tantrums have diminished in size when you do come back.

Why on earth do you get so grumpy, there is little or no point at all making rash assumptions and shouting semi-abusive contents the length of the country?


Maybe you would fancy yourself as a 'pole dancer' it could be quite an interesting vocation and if you were good at it you could weald unreasonable power of femininity over the poor saps of punters who might just be drooling in their glasses of John Smiths Extra Smooth.


It's common knowledge that Yorkshire and the north east in general (Tyneside) have more entertainments venues of ill repute than any other place in the country.

I did quite a bit of singing over there in my vocal entertaining days, the agent I used was Jimmy Dunne I would arrive Friday evening, two spots Friday night, Saturday lunchtime two spots, Saturday evening four spots, Sunday lunchtime two spots and then drive back to Lancashire. Every spot meant sharing a dressing room with at least one female stripper. It took the shine off things when she was talking about her kids and putting make up over a shiner her husband had given her for getting home late the previous night. Then they would go out bouncing about stage on the back of a purple heart, and the saps would be screaming their heads off. It was hard work quietening them down in a fancy suit and your voice and personality to use as your tools of engagement, but when you did, it got you a lot more bookings.

In the trade it's called the "Filler".

It fills in between the girls and you can get your pint pot filled up without missing the action. They sell more beer that way.

No alcoholic male chauvinist pigs and no appearances.

You're the one who was all fired up and angry. I just expressed an opinion.



Again, whatever you say Mathos. If you consider me abusive - what do you call your name-calling, label throwing self?



It's funny you should say that. In this new house I'm living in, you walk two steps up from the bedroom, across this kind of 'stage' that has a mirrored closet door and then two steps down into the bathroom.

The moving guys (who were really nice and funny, by the way) called it the 'pole dancing room' and they called the bedroom it was off of the 'up and down room'- that was the biggest and best bedroom but I gave it to my daughter because it was green (so don't make any nasty comments about what might go on there- it's the bedroom of an innocent child). I didn't want a green bedroom. I took the nice, sunny yellow one.

Anyway, the woman who owns this house must really be a character - I'll tell you that much. It's a very quirky, eccentric house. Everyone who has seen it has loved it. It has a tree trunk in the middle of it (the staircase winds around it). I love living here.

I couldn't pole dance though (not for an audience anyway)- just not in my nature - no matter what kind of money I might net.



You're so damn full of surprises Mathos. I wish I could hear you sing. What kind of music did you do? I picture you in the Tom Jones mold.

There was a woman who came into the shop yesterday with a black eye- her boyfriend tried to slam her head with the car door. I asked her if she'd gone to the cops - she said she had - many times. I had no idea of how to help her - life just sucks so bad for some people sometimes. I was depressed all night last night. Between reading the times yesterday and seeing that poor lady and hearing her story...