Sheep - a poem in one sentence

Heh heh. You wanna keep this quiet, aidan? I didn't know you were watching.

Gus - watching what- you mean sheep? I wouldn't have expected anyone to know I've been watching and noticing the behavior of sheep this spring, except my dog who goes on my walk with me - oh yeah, and my kids who I tell all about the sweet little lambs I've been seeing recently.

Don't laugh- I mean you being a farmer and all might think it's pretty funny but when I first moved here, I was so afraid of all the animals - even sheep freaked me out - me being a city girl and all. But over the past year, I've learned there are actually very few animals to be afraid of - and sheep are like the least scariest of all- they just bleat at you really loudly and then scramble to get out of your way. Chickens are actually even scarier to me - because they'll fly at you with their claws out if they feel threatened. Did you know chickens can actually fly? I've seen it with my own eyes.

Anyway - nice talking to you Gus. Later - Aidan

Jesus Gus - I just got it. You see - you can take the girl out of the city - but you can't take the city out of the girl. I've heard about **** like that, but never really believed it really went on.

But don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

aidan-that is very sweet.

I used to watch animals a lot when I was a kid growing up in the countryside.They are amazing.You don't get to see them properly on the animal programmes.

Have you ever seen a cow's ear from up close.There's about a million different shades of brown in the sunshine and they flick them a lot if there's midges about.They tense their leg muscles up fast sometimes to try to get a fly off when they are too lazy to use their tails.It must be awful don't you think-being a cow in hot weather.They are flicking and twitching all day long when we are basking on the beach.I bet they are glad when winter comes and they can shelter behind hedges when there's a blizzard on an easterly gale.

I often observed them going to the bathroom.They get into identical postures which are slightly different depending on what they have gone to the bathroom for.And if they are any distance from the nearest bathroom they pretend the bathroom has come to them.It's a convenience cows have.

I once saw a line of cars stuck behind some cows being herded along a country lane.The front car was a Roller with a chauffer and three posh ladies of a certain age.You could tell they were in a hurry from the way they shouted at me and Pete but we couldn't make them go any faster because there was some lush grass on the verges and there were over 40 of them.Pete had been sent by his Dad to bring them up from Cocktickle Meadow for milking and I was giving him a hand. Their udders were so full they could hardly walk anyway.It was only about 3/4 of a mile.

That was funny.They were big Friesians and one of them stopped right in front of the Roller, in the middle of the road,lifted its tail,arched its back and went to the bathroom.It took ages and the chauffer was pipping his horn impatiently,like Clary used to do,but the cow took not the slightest notice.You should have seen the state of the whitewall tyres by the time we got them off the road and itto the shippon.

But that's another story.

Thanks, aidan. I owe you one.

aidan,

I dug out one of mine for you

No Baa Code in Yorkshire

When travelling from Delph to Golcar
Ensure your loved ones are
Well strapped in.

The sheep on the hills round here
Are fond of the odd beer
And some are on gin.

Not content with plain grass, they favour
Instead the unusual flavour
Of tar and resin.

So its no good honking your horn
As that ewe goes airborne
With your wheels in a spin.

Do sheep grin ?

That one did !

Frescoe- I guess if you've gotta go, you might as well go while you're feeling no pain. That ewe probably thought she was given the gift of flight, right there out of the blue on that road from Delph to Golcar - reminds me of the story of Paul on the road to Damascus. Maybe there's a story or poem in there somewhere- oh yeah, you wrote it - nice one.

Spendius - which part of my poem did you think was the sweetest?

As for your story- I like cows too. They have very sweet faces and amazing eyes and eyelashes. I don't, however, tend to stand and watch them do their business, or feel that I need to call a conference to have a consultation to discuss which orifice or organ they may be emptying, the consistency or quality of their "offering" and whether or not it is welcomed by the majority of the other cows in the field or barn.

Maybe I'll post some of my animal pictures as you seem to really enjoy observing animals too- I've always known we have so much in common- although I think I'll have to hand the prize for specific memory and eye to detail to you...I have much more of a "big picture" type of cognition. All those little details and specifics just start to get all mixed up and confused in my brain-that's why I suck at science.

Oh yeah, and how do you know Clary beeps her horn at cows? Have you guys taken road trips without me? Now that would make me sad...

And as for scrubbing **** off whitewalls - believe me - I've done my share.

aiden wrote-



This bit-

Are you being nice? I can never tell.

I'm being nice - I really, really am- when I say I don't want to fight with anyone, but especially not you today.

You know - this week is a very special week for me (every year not just this year) because it holds a lot of precious memories for me. Today is the first day of Spring and my mother's birthday, my birthday is in a few days, and since me and my mom always try to celebrate our birthdays together, in a few days I'm flying (on a very dear friend's birthday- coincidentally) to visit everyone- well not everyone but almost everyone I love and haven't seen in over a year, in the US.

I'll have three weeks, and I am taking a road trip from NY to Key West in Florida and will get to stop and spend time in North Carolina, Charleston, Savannah, just a bunch of my very favorite places. Everything will be in bloom down south, the ocean will be warm enough to swim in - and I'm gonna eat biscuits and gravy for breakfast every damn day!(biscuits over there are these little soft bread things, not cookies). I can't wait.

But you know - I'm a nervous flyer. So I always feel like I have to leave everything in order before I set foot on a plane. So to you, I just want to say - I'm happy you came by here and talked to me, finally, after all this time-even if it was meant as an insult (which I'm pretty sure that stuff about the cow was meant to be)- that's okay -at least you spoke. I respect that.

I want you to know that you were always my favorite person on this forum, and I did feel really, really bad that we were on such bad terms. Maybe we still are as far as you're concerned - who the hell knows? But my philosophy is that life is too short to hold grudges. I prefer to remember those few short weeks we were having fun and laughing, making up our stories about Valmont and Isabella, instead of those old nasty, dark days when I was being accused of being a pedophile. I still don't know how old you are, but it doesn't matter- you've got a hell of a brain- and when you're not in a bad mood - you're really fun to hang out with.

I think you're smart and funny and I wish you nothing but happiness and that you achieve all that you dream of in your life.

Talk to you later - maybe - but if I don't - You take care - Aidan

aiden dear-

Thank you for the sweet remarks about my goodself.

On some of the points you touch on though I do believe you are confounding me with others.I have never,am not now and will not ever be on bad terms with you.And I am never in a bad mood.



Not at all aid.It was mainly a bit of fun.I thought it might serve the purpose of amusing you,and any other readers and also of reminding you that the countryside is not simply pretty to look at and admire.It is an economic activity and it is as cut-throat as any other large scale operation in the field of production.It does have another side which it is as well to appreciate.

I feel it a duty to myself to say that I have never referred to a "peediewhatsit" in my entire forum existence never mind accusing you of that.

I don't recognise birthdays I'm afraid.

Have a good trip.(xxx)

YOU DONT RECOGNIZE BIRTHDAYS?!!! Well, that comes as a bit of shock, and I don't know that our just renewed friendship can withstand such a mortal blow. It makes me sad to have to say that I guess we have less in common than I originally thought.

At the very least, I was hoping for a cake (homemade, not bought- and chocolate with chocolate icing, of course), ice cream, party hats, noisemakers, balloons, streamers, a nice bouquet of spring flowers ( maybe something like ten or so white tulips with some of those beautiful little miniature irises or grape hyacinths and twining ivy in a crystal vase), along with a rousing version of "Happy Birthday to You"- and that was at the very least..... Oh well, - see- that's why I have to go to my mom's for my birthday. She just knows how to do birthdays right - better than anyone else - at least for me.

And just so you know - I am intimately aware of what it means to work in and around the countryside. I bet you've never shoveled manure into the bed of a pick up truck, driven it to a field, and then shoveled it all out, over and over again for eight hours a day, everyday for weeks in the spring and then spent the summer bent over picking strawberries or fighting your way through acres and acres of corn planted in rows so close together that you almost can't breathe, and getting the tassels and worms all in your hair while sweating beneath the burning hot sun for months at a time. Well, I have - and I enjoyed it. People have this mistaken picture of me as "posh" or something. They don't know the half of it.

I'm relieved to hear you weren't and aren't mad at me-I guess I'll just have to call that my birthday present from you.
And I know that (at least in your Spendius incarnation) it wasn't you who called me a pedophile. Hey, there's another nice little present.
Now I owe you a present -do you want me to bring you a pretty seashell as a souvenir?

aiden wrote-



Not again.Oh dearie dearie me.I have never posted under any other name than spendius.Not once.If you refuse to believe me it has nothing to do with me.

Why would I want a seashell off someone who won't believe the simplest things I say.

Okay - you've convinced me - I officially believe you now.

But if we're going to continue corresponding, you need to relearn how to correctly spell the name I've given this internet persona of mine- it's Aidan - not Aiden.

I'm getting kind of sick of her though - maybe when I get back I'll tell you what people who really know me call me - and then maybe I'll feel like we really know each other- you know what I mean?

Have a good night.

Is this the weirdest thread on the board?

It may very well be. I've been in a really weird mood this week. Must be all the stress of getting ready to fly ("I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive, men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees.")
That could be my theme song you know. Everytime I board a plane, I just feel like I'm taking my life in my hands.

It also could be about going home after a long time away, feeling like I'm a totally different person than when I left and hoping that everyone still remembers me and loves me and is willing to accept these changes in me.

I also think it's realizing I'm turning another f***ing year older, you know. I just want to try to come to terms and be at peace with everything- I'm old enough now to make that a priority (44).

Try to be understanding Nimh, okay? I mean, it is my birthday week, can you just try to bear with me? I know it seems to bug people when I talk to Spendius - but I just like to - can't I be allowed that small privelege? It's really a very small thing to ask.

PS - Anyway, I love being weird don't you? I think life's tapestry is just so much richer with all the weirdos threaded in and out of it.

No need to be upset, Aidan. Yes, of course everyone is fully accorded the right to be weird whenever they'd like to be or, you know, just are! I mean, imagine if they weren't, what would happen to me?!

The weird vibe, I assure you, was entirely within the one specific realm of the swirl of unspoken subtexts that pervaded the conversation here - as a stranger, its like stumbling into a family celebration of some kind, where everything seems fine superficially but you can sense a whirlwind of past traumas and resentments underneath every spoken (and unspoken) word! Odd, thats all. Like some Danish movie

nimh-

I hope I'm not included in that.I've never experienced any traumas in my life.If I have any resentments they are fully justified.I resent 70% of the western sky being smeared with vapour trails on the first clear day we've had here in weeks.Are people's relations,friends and neighbours really so bad as to drive them to escape from them and saddle the rest of us,and future generations,with all this shite and leave us at the mercy of oil producers who,if they are not waxing fat,are buying weapons and other stuff to fund attacks upon us.

Is that resentment in any Danish movies?

I don't find aidan in the least wierd.She writes well,compliments her readers with obvious effort and she really is quite sweet and you can tell that she's close to seeing how absurd an activity flying is.I have already proved that she has a better attention span than most people with the story she mentioned.She's just a bit too sensitive to snide remarks which fortunately I'm not.I see snide remarks as the mental equivalent of walking into a door.

Nimh- You are very perceptive (except that I wasn't upset at all). I really do appreciate your perception as to the undertones implicit in my and Spendius' conversation. I can't of course speak for him, but any undertones on my part were not to do with resentment so much as regret. And not really any specific regret at anything he or I did (I did do one kind of mean thing that was directed at him which I have long ago privately apologized for), but regret at how circumstances were allowed to intervene for so long in what might have been a very nice friendship. I value my real friendships beyond measure - and that's why I feel that an interrupted one - for whatever reason- is a cause for regret and I'm always happy when it in some way is able to be rectified or reconciled.

And I'll tell you what I think is the weirdest thing. A 44 year old woman going by an assumed name, (even though everyone else seems to be okay with it- hence all the screennames). But you know, I don't even like the name Aidan anymore, specifically because all of the negativity and sadness that I associate with it.

So, I wish I could retire Aidan and just be Rebecca. That's my real name- and as you can probably tell, I've never been one for pretense or role-playing. I just always feel more comfortable being who I really am. I really do think I look and act more like a Rebecca, because that's who I've really been for 44 years now.
Who the hell is Aidan anyway - and why does she even need to exist? I can't see any reason for her anymore. She was okay for a while - she allowed me to write and post **** without worrying about how it would affect me. The whole screen name and persona created a kind of buffer that I needed to give me confidence to post my writing- but I don't need that anymore.

Spendius - if you're attached to Aidan (the name) feel free to call me that, but I just want you to know that my real name is Rebecca. I really am sorry to be contributing to the mess our environment is in (really) and am embarrassed in a lot of ways to be American and guilty of all the "shite" we (as a people) have inflicted on the world. And I have to admit, I had attitudes I didn't even realize I had, that encouraged me to participate negatively in terms of our society and environment in ways I didn't even stop to think about until I moved away and got a more objective view. That's one reason I'm worried about going back. I know that I'm going to really need to be diplomatic and may have a hard time readjusting- just because living here has taught me to see so many things in such different ways- and I don't want to appear judgemental of the way my friends and family continue to live (even though secretly, I am).
But Spendius - I didn't come here to escape my relations and friends-I wish I could have brought them all with me. It's just a circumstance that brought me here - so you shouldn't be so judgemental about people who live differently than you choose to- you can't assume you know all the reasons, it may just be through circumstance.
PS- Thanks for all the nice things you said about me.

nimh-

Becky wrote-



When I took the Chicago gang to task on this they just called me names and continued to justify their pointless journeys with words which are the hallmark of contactless sociability.

That's wierd.

There's nothing wierd about Becky's position.She doesn't try to justify it.She apologises and that's a step in a rational direction.