I think whenever the "1/2" is significant enough to include, you're too young! ;-)
A good friend from high school got married straight out of high school and had three boys by the time she was 22. I was changing my first diapers when she was a few years from being an empty nester.
I don't think I would have wanted to walk in her shoes even if it meant having my kids grown by the time I was 40.
I suppose it is a series of trade offs no matter what your age.
My sister had her one and only child when she was 19 and even though she was married it was such a struggle.
But now my sister is enjoying both her daughter and her grand kids. She has a grand daughter a month older than Mo!
I never imagined having kids in the first place but if it had happened when I was any younger..... well... I doubt it would have happened.... certainly not the way it did happen anyway.
Tradeoffs, definitely.
All in all, I'm happy with what I chose, but I think it really depends on the person and on circumstances.
27 when we had our first.
I too, having children in my mid to late 30s, took full advantage of my "freedom" in my younger years. I traveled all over, partied and just enjoyed being young and single. Once I started getting older, I was more "settled." I really didn't want to go out every other night. I was ready to also focus on some one else's needs rather than my own selfish enjoyment.
I too am probably older than most of the parents in my daughter's class, however, I have the distinct advantage that I look much younger than I am. I also fortunately have more energy than many adults 10 years younger than me. I don't stick out when I attend my daughters' events as I look significantly younger and definately have a young at heart attitude.
For me, I have the best of both worlds and really couldn't imagine having had my children 10 years younger. I really wasn't emotionally or mentally prepared at that age to raise a child. Everyone is different - for me I feel I had my children at the perfect age.
Actually that makes me think of another element. I think that young parents have more leeway, from themselves and others, in not being Perfect. Just kind of muddling through. I think older parents tend more toward overparenting, because they've waited this long and want to DO IT RIGHT. (That tendency seems to be demonstrated in what I've observed in my daughter's preschool classroom, anyway...)
i felt i was ready when i was about 24, 25. at 30, i still feel ready, but less readily willing. i need a few more years to run around the world right now, although if it had happened a year or two ago, i would have been happy, too.
I was 22 when I had my first. Had two before I was 23. I think I was too young. I didn't have a clue how to be a parent, but I learned. What choice did I have?
On the other hand, my mother was 43 when I was born. I was the youngest of eight all born in a 15 year span. My Mom was 60 when I graduated from high school, I think we kept her young.
Wwhat choice did she have?
My brother has a 14 year old, and he is 60. They have always treated this kid like an adult. He is intellectually very bright, but emotionally immature.
I think that you are correct Soz, about "overparenting". It certainly applies to my brother and his wife.
I, on the other hand, played everything "by ear". For all intents and purposes, I was a single mother. My first husband did not involve himself very much with the raising of my son.
I was over thirty with my first. I had always avoided getting married, because I was not ready and it wouldn't be fair to the woman. You know what? I was no more ready at thirty than at twenty. Fortunately, my children survived living with me and are doing okay.
Married a woman with one 7 year old child when I was 27. Married my current wife when I was 41. She had 19 & 21 year old sons.
My wife & I had custody of a one year old and a six year old at 52. They are now almost 7 and 12.
Have been raising kids for half my life, but never had any. :-)
I was 19 with my first child.
27 With Jillian.
Honestly, I think being a teenage mom, though it works for some, isnt a good idea.
Patience being the number one 'lacking' issue with people that young.
Financial responsibility being a high ranking problem as well.
But that is just for todays teenager.
I have no clue what life was like in .... lets say the 40's and 50's or even earlier for young parents.
Family dynamics seem to have changed from what I gather from my mother and grandparents. Family was there to help with the child and it was common place to have elders of the family living with, or right next to the young new parents.
With that kind of help around, I guess I could see how it would work for a 17- 19 year old parent.
But my own personal opinion, that age range isnt a very good one for becoming a parent.
At 27 I had Jillian. Honestly, I would have loved to wait a bit longer.
My patience is amazing at this age.. it would have been next to perfect in about 5 years.
Technically I am an adult at 27, but I am still immature in many ways that can effect jillian.
I do believe that the ball park age of 28-34 is the perfect time to have kids.
That gives people time to get schooling out of the way, establish themselves in a home, travel and have a fun full time in life before committing themselves to children.
Your level of patience is much higher and your priorities are completely diffrent from... lets say.. 10 years before?
I was 13 when I was forced into conceiving, by Ingrid, my personal trainer/wet nurse.
Alas, she buggered off back to Germany the following day, when Poland was invaded.
It was the best twelve seconds of my formative years.
Mine arrived at 33, 35 and 38. I am 40 now and having finally learned why, have just had the snip. I sometimes feel I don't have the energy to do the little people justice, but then what do I expect!
Ellpus, was your wet-nurse a large bottomed woman with pigtails, hairy pits and a penchant for Wagner perchance? If so, do you realise you have had your spear and magic helmet in mein mother...
Regards
I married at 21 and had my first baby at 27. Before I was 27 I never thought it was the right time. I was either at school or working, trying to make my career or travelling for my career. Me and my husband were also resolving many of our differences for the first 6 years. At 27, both of us felt ready.
I will be 31 this July and we are expecting our second baby in September. That will make an age difference of 4 years between my 2 kids. I would have preferred between 2 and 3 years of difference. But I was so not ready for the 2nd before this.
