Reply
Thu 19 Jan, 2006 07:31 pm
And it doesn't sound like music anymore at all.
Here's the deal:
We're having this party for Mo's birthday and I've invited all his bio-family along with our friends.
Our friends are used to our semi-wrecked house but I know I will feel judged by his bio-family. Some of whom have never been in my house.
So I'm trying to clean in the BIG clean kind of way.
The trouble is, the harder I clean the bigger messes he makes trying to get my attention.
I sat him down and explained that his continual and serious messes only serve to make me have to spend MORE time cleaning and LESS time goofing off with him but the point is entirely missed by Mo.
It is turning into a frikken grudge match -- we're both angry and frustrated.
I'm not ignoring or neglecting him. We still take time to play and goof off. I warn him when I need to tie in and get some things done. I've tried to explain what all the hub-bub is about.
It doesn't make one damn bit of difference.
How do you stop this stuff?
Have Mr. B take him somewhere to do something fun, and get him out from underfoot.
Heh.
Not helpful, I know.
It's been an ongoing thing with sozlet, she's getting better and better about it but in that kind of a situation (deadline, actually somewhat important), I'd plain get her out of there until the important stuff is done, and then have a lot of out-of-the-house activities until the inside-the-house event has happened.
Heh, yourownself, soz.
I might be able to get away with that for a few hours on Saturday morning while I finish up.
I am sympathetic to his crud. I don't like it any better than he does.
Usually he's better about work than this. When I do have to work I can usually convince him to play quietly while I get stuff done. I don't know if this is just because it is cleaning type work or what.
Maybe it's the Raw Man.
That's the new Winnie.
Or something.
Have you already tried the delegation thing, and it hasn't gone well? That's usually what works best -- give her something to do that she CAN do, but she hates it when I'm zooming around cleaning and not paying attention to her. Somehow different from when I'm doing editing-type work.
Exactly!
I can tell him I'm working on some pictures and he'll grumble but leave me alone.
Not with this.
I've tried everything I can think of and nothing seems to work. He's even doing this weird secretive thing: hiding things from me that he knows are okay. It's almost like he wants to get in trouble.
It is weird.
He's prolly made anxious because things feel different right now....in kids lik ehim this can trigger more of the desire to be in control, and to make bad stuff happen cos his anxieties make him feel that is gonna happen anyway, and he might qs well be done with the tension of the wait.
Also...does he know the bios are coming? I assume so. This would up the ante.
I am with Soz.
That or slip him a mickey!
Kiddin'!
I wish someone would slip me a mickey.
I could so totally use a mickey.
Yes, he knows the bios are coming. But really it is the bios that he sees with some regularity so I guess I didn't think it would cause such a ruckus.
I'm not really nervous about them being here so I'm not doing a big panicky thing, or anything. Most of the ones that are coming are ones that I have a pretty good relationship with.
There is no doubt though that this is a bit of a "stand" for me; not waiting for them to decide to throw their own little party. I know there will be a bit of judging going on. I DO want to make a good impression.
But it has been a weird week and I'm trying to evaluate whether I'm doing something freaky to set it off.
The "Raw Man" has made an appearance and Mo can't sleep in his room because of the Raw Man, for example. (Frankly, the "Raw Man" sounds scary to me!) That and some other things are just really wacky -- like his appitite. Strange.
Ride it out, boomer. It sounds like he's picked up on all the anticipation of a really big day. Indulge him on the Raw Man fears (I have got to hear that story) and see if you can come up with something to distract him, like soz said. Can you tell him you need him to dig a hole in the back yard? Is there anything he likes to do to help you clean? My kids like to wash the windows. The puddle of windex at the bottom of the pain is a small price to pay.
Riding it out is really all I can think of too, FreeDuck.
I've really tried to include him and get him involved in everything. I'm no perfectionist and I really like his style so anything goes, really.
Like today -- I cooked up some bathtub paint to paint our windows with. He was furious when I started painting the windows. I gave him some paint and let him go to town -- smearing it all over. He had a blast but he was still mad at me and wanted to ruin my paintings.
It was just so bizarre.
And...
I always let him help me cook but today he was helping but pissed.
I don't know much about the Raw Man except:
1. He is "purpley-reddish".
2. He has a face mask that he uses to set people on fire.
3. He makes a funny noise.
4. He lives in Mo's bedroom.
Perhaps he's uneasy about being the host of his birthday party?
Perhaps combining the Bio People and the Organic People has him nervous?
Perhaps he doesn't want you to be pre-occupied--even by his birthday party.
Remember, This Too Shall Pass.
Hold your dominion.
I don't know what is making him so strange.
He doesn't like it when I'm pre-occupied with anything other than him so maybe it is simply that.
I've got a lot to do tomorrow but most of it is stuff he can do with me -- cooking. So, we'll see if there is any improvement.
Sometimes I wonder who is the biggest nut case -- me or him!
After sleeping on the problem, I've concluded that Mo is very, very leery of change of any sort. Novelty which is not of his own making is scary for him.
How would Thomas get ready for a birthday party at the roundhouse?
Listening, with the same advice as Freeduck.
I hope today is calmer at Mo's house. Sounds like the cooking is going well, at any rate!
I think Noddy has quite an insight.
Oh no...Winnie II
Keep us posted Boomer...and good luck
He really doesn't do change well. He is a real creature of habit.
Today is going much better. Cooking days are usually good. He doesn't seem to be so wound up or so needy.
They DO have a lot of parties on the island of Sodor! When we do our make up a story time today perhaps I can work a party into the story line.
The Raw Man sounds scary to me too... poor boy.
It reminds me of the Jean Sheperd (?) story about Red Skeleton (the creature he imagined upon hearing of Red Skelton, the actor...)
Have you been talking about making a straw man?
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace