Rae, I whole heartedly support your stand.
You did the right thing for all the right reasons.
I remember in high school, a mother called my parents because their son came home blasted from a party I was at. While it wasn't all innocent, this guy turned up loaded and was encouraging others to drink, alot. My parents came in, and humiliated me by smelling everyone's glasses for alcohol. They only turned up one, the one he was using to mix a little Coke with whiskey.
Although at the time I was really upset, they did the right thing. Everyone got home ok, and I was much more cautious of where I frequented after that.
Underage drinking is dangerous for two main reasons. Early drivers and early drinkers - a recipe for disaster.
Thanks, Sublime.
Update on the passed out seventeen year old.....
The stepmother never showed up, but the boy's father did. Three hours after being called.
I mentioned to Letty in the chat that I never meant to sound like I was trying to gain points with my son for doing what I did. Dougy has been raised with two parents in the hotel business ~ he has heard all of the stories. But because he has such distaste for drug and alcohol abuse, he was completely amazed with the proceedings of last night. I apologise if I gave the impression that my actions were meant only to impress my son.
fisher mentioned earlier that if it had been just three kids in a room not disturbing anyone, it would have been different. And he was right. Because no one (probably) would have taken any notice.
Even that scenario bothers me. There are good kids out there. Nothing anyone does will stop kids from experimenting. It's a fact of life.
But, I will continue to speak up when it's put out in the open for everyone to see.
And you should speak up, Rae. As should every adult. I think we all have this duty. So they will not thank you now - but as Sublime said, later in their life they might remember and be thankful.
Cravens take seems pretty sane to me. Tell them to not even think of going out driving in that state or you'll call the cops on them. And otherwise leave them be unless they make a racket. Thats probably what i'd do, too. Making a racket would include walking around the hotel's hallways visibly or audibly drunk, tho. Acting against that - basically telling them to shape up or get out, and, if they're underage, calling some parents in case of the latter - would come with the responsibility of the job, i'd say. When i worked in a bar i also stopped serving people when they'd had too much, and call a cab if they appear to be going out drunk - you're legally obliged too, in fact.
If i were worried about them i'd probably be a nice guy and check up on them once in a while too, to see if they're ok. Anyone literally passing out (as opposed to falling asleep), for example, 'deserves' having his parents called on him. I mean, with them being teenagers and all.
Of course theres one big difference in context here. In holland, you're not allowed to drive till you're 18, and most people only get their first car when they're in their twenties. So the whole drunk driving problem wouldnt come up, and certainly wouldnt be at the front of my mind.
There's teenagers smoking pot outside our house every day here. Legally they're not allowed to buy it under 18, but they can always send someone else in to buy it for them. They dont cause much bother, usually - I mean, they pass around their one or two joints and then leave again. People passing by dead drunk on weekend nights and yelling and pissing are much worse, whereas for these kids, it's like an extension of their living room, or so. (I do think with pot being illegal in the States, the way its used there is different - they would smoke much more of it at once, in secret, I'd guess - whereas here, if you can buy it anywhere anytime anyway, why would you bother doing more than the one joint at a time, right).
When they get loud or annoying, I go out and tell them to be quiet - same if they hang out here after, say, 10 or 11 PM. 90% of the time they're perfectly fine with that, they apologise, thank-you and go to the square around the corner. Never saw any of them in a bad state, I mean, getting sick or anything remotely like that - thats the other ones, the occasional older homeless junkie, they look bad, whereas these kids are usually just hanging out after school or so and fooling about a bit. I've only had the phone in hand to call the police once or twice this past year and a half, when some kids were loud and gave aggro on being asked to behave.
They come around (The cops, i mean) often enough anyway, every day once or twice, and chase away whoever is sitting there - they can get a fine for just sitting there, actually! I'm not too glad with that bit of police 'crackdown'. We used to have the same groups of kids hanging out, we knew them, could talk with them, you know. But it became too costly for them, so they left, and now its different kids every time, which makes it harder to say something when something seems up. But like I said, it's still mostly OK.
Yeh, when I was a teenager ... we had some parties, but it was at home. People would get drunk, but hardly ever throw-up drunk. The odd joint would go around, and that was it mostly. Mostly people were kissin' ;-). Friend of mine would throw these parties when her parents were away for the weekend. We'd all stay there overnight, cause of it being in some suburb and, like I said, kids dont have cars around here. So that saved us the worry about drunk driving - we were just holed up in there ;-). I only had a party at my place once, my sister did several times. Our mother would go away for the evening but come home around midnight. She'd be upstairs and that was fine - you know, we were still on our own but you're not going to get piss-drunk then either, are you, and should anything ever be up there's somebody nearby.
I dunno. What with not having the driving-problem here I dont really see all that much problem in teenagers hanging out having a drink and a joint. But if they're in a hotel they gotta mind the neighbours, and if i work in the hotel i'm responsible for what might happen to any of them. So I guess I'd do the same as you, but I wouldnt be all too shocked about any of it I think. I dont get why that stepmum would check them into that hotel though. I mean, if she's so liberal-minded about them smoking pot and all, why not allow them to have the party at home? Then she could have kept an eye on them from afar, and they'd be impressed about the guy having such a cool mum while still being safe from harm, what with someone around. This way it just looks like she wanted to be the cool tolerant mum and still have the house quiet to herself - that seems a bit lazy.
Thanks, nimh ~ I'll come back to this. You've raised some points. But, I can't do them justice at the moment.
You go Rae!! Good for you. Maybe you can't stop someone
from using or drinking underage, but you CAN stop them
from doing it where you can see it.
Thanks, Babs! And shame on me for forgetting to give my thoughts in reference to nimh's comments.....
It's been a long day.....I'll try to get to it this weekend.
