Intro: Okay, this a, this is a song, that uh, there's a lot of Christmas songs out there, and uh, not too many Hanukkah songs, so I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who dont get to hear any Hanukkah songs--here we go...
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,
Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here's a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:
David Lee Roth lights the menorah,
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli,
Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzarelli.
Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too,
Put them together--what a fine lookin' Jew!
You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cause you can spin a dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!
Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Hanukkah,
The owner of the Seattle Super sonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah.
O.J. Simpson-- not a Jew!
But guess who is...Hall of Famer?-Rod Carew--(he converted!)
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish--not too shabby!
Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
Well, he's not, but guess who is: All three stooges!
So many Jews are in show biz--
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is.
Tell your friend Veronica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.
So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah . HAPPY HANUKKAH!
Didja know Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky of the original Starsky and Hutch, and widower of AIDS activist Elizabeth Glaser) was in it? He does not sing, although he dances a bit. Molly Picon of the old Yiddish theatre is also in it; she is buried in New York, I think at Machpelah Cemetary.I'm spending Hanukkah, in Santa Monica,
Wearing sandals lighting candles by the sea.
I spent Shavuos, in East St. Louis,
A charming spot but clearly not the spot for me.
Those eastern winters, I can't endure 'em,
So every year I pack my gear
And come out here to Purim.
Rosh Hashona, I spend in Arizona,
And Yom Kippa, way down in Mississippa.
But in Decemba, there's just one place for me.
'Mid the California flora,
I'll be lighting my menorah.
Every California maid'll
Find me playing with a dreidl.
Santa Monica, spending Hanukkah by the sea
It's time to take out those menorahs!
Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Hanukkah
So much fun-uka
To celebrate Hanukkah
Hanukkah is, the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
Winona Ryder drinks Manischewitz wine
Then spins a dredl with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who give and receives loads of Hanukkah toys?
The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too
Put them together, what a funky, bad-ass Jew
We got Harvey Keitel and flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish and
Yes her boobs are real
O.J. Simpson, still not a Jew
But guess who is, the guy who does the voice for
Scooby-Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn't, but now he's back
Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'cuz we're pretty good
In the sack
Guess who got bar mitzvah-ed on the PGA tour?
No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods, I'm talking about
Mr. Happy Gilmore
So many Jews are in the show biz
Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish, but my mother thinks he is
Tell that old harmonica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah
It's not pronounced Chanukkah
The C is silent in Hanukkah
So your your Hooked on Phonic-a
Get drunk in Tiajuanica
If you really really wanna-ka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah
I feel like a spinning top or a Dreidel
The spinning don't stop when you leave the cradle
You just slow down
Round and around the world you go
Spinning through the lives of the people you know
We all slow down
How you gonna keep on turning from day to day?
How you gonna keep from turning your life away?
No days you can borrow, no time you can buy.
No trust in tomorrow. It's a lie.
And I feel like I'm dippin' and divin'.
My sky shoes are spiked with lead heels.
I'm lost in this star car I'm drivin'.
But my air sole keeps pushin' big wheels.
My world is a constant confusion.
My mind is prepared to attack.
My past a persuasive illusion.
I'm watchin' the future it's black.
What do you know?
You know just what you perceive.
What can you show?
Nothing of what you believe.
And as you grow, each thread of life that you leave
Will spin around your deeds and dictate your needs
As you sell your soul and you sow your seeds
And you wound yourself and your loved one bleed
And your habits grow, and your conscience feeds
On all that you thought you should be
I never thought this could happen to me.
I feel like a spinning top or a dreidel.
The spinning don't stop when you leave the cradle.
You just slow down.
Round and around the world you go
Spinning through the lives of the people you know.
We all slow down.
How you gonna keep on turning from day to day?
How you gonna keep from turning your life away? Oh..
I feel like a spinning top or a dreidel.
The spinning don't stop when you leave the cradle.
You just slow down.
Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder feelin' kinda older I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing the calliope crashed to the ground
Some all-hot half-shot was headin for the hot spot snappin his fingers clappin his hands
And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lovers' knot with a whatnot in her hand
And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-menot whispers Daddy's within earshot save the buckshot turn up the band
And she was blinded by the light. cut loose like a deuce
Another runner in the night. blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight, but shell make it alright
Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
He says: dethrone the Dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that's where they expect it least
And some new-mown chaperone was standin in the corner all alone watchin' the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance
Yeah he was blinded by the light. cut loose like a deuce
Another runner in the night. Blinded by the light
He got down but she never got tight, but he's gonna make it tonight
Some silicone sister with her manager's mister told me I got what it takes
She said I'll turn you on Sonny to something strong if you play that song with the funky break
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
And little early-pearly came in by her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer playin' backyard bombardier
Yes and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent a dude with a calling card,
He said, do what you like, but don't do it here
Well I jumped up, spit in the air, fell on the ground, asked which was the way back home
He said take a right at the light, keep going straight until right, and then boy you're on your own
And now in Zanzibar a shootin' star was ridin' in a side car hummin' a lunar tune
Yes, and the avatar said blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar, we're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon
And some kidnapped handicap was complaining that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night
Well I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw a gap but hed figured he'd be all right
He was just blinded by the light. Cut loose like a deuce
Another runner in the night. Blinded by the light
Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
Oh but mama that's where the fun is
