I've thought that many times, Bella..! Man, if I'd only read this stuff BEFORE I had a kid...
Then again, J_B and Squinney have provided some pearls on parenting teenagers...
Ha! Bella! Good point.
Maybe they ought to make kids spend an hour a night on parenting forums as part of the high school sex education cirriculum.
No doubt about it, soz. I rely on the people here on a nearly day to day basis to help me figure this stuff out.
I'll toss Noddy and dlowan into that mix of J_B and Squinney. And you. And others that I'm probably forgetting at the moment. Mo is truly a child raised by this village.
Sozlet too, especially when she was tiny. Noddy was a balm to panicky mamasoz many a time...
Ladies--
Thanks for the kind words.
Both of my sons balked at the "Big Boy" rah-rah, but were quite happy to aim for being Medium Sized Boys. As I remember, the logic was "Big Boys can get the basketball in the real hoop. I'm not tall enough."
My unfavorite stepson was still leaving snail tracks in his underwear during his first marriage. He managed to marry a second and a third time, so do not despair.
Useful conversational topics:
Why are there pooper scoop laws?
Why can't you use human manure as fertilizer?
Why is "****" a pejorative term?
Why do the children in Baghdad miss sewers and running water?
Why do babies wear diapers?
Don't combine all these topics in a single speech--let one useful discussion evolve at a time.
Of course if his "Real Mother" has expressed the idea that bottom wiping isn't important.....
Oh lordy lordy. I promise to never put Mo through that.
I've heard people say that the reason to have kids is so that they would have someone to take care of them in their old age.
What!?
It always makes me shiver when I hear that.
Still..... the little monster WILL deserve some payback for delighting in the hugely fat clerk in Target today. I was horrified!
He wasn't saying it to be mean -- he is not aware that being fat is not optimal. It was just a statement of fact. He did the same thing to Mr. B's dad who is very, very fat but Mr. B's dad thought it was funny.
Target clerk didn't think it was funny and I could tell it hurt her feelings and I felt crummy and I have since chatted with Mo about how it is not nice to comment on people's bodies because we come in all shapes and sizes and thats what makes the world an interesting place.
Neither comment was as embarrassing as the time he speculated on the size of the DEQ guy's penis though. ("BIG!")
But that didn't hurt DEQ guy's feelings.
Would I get arrested if I started taping his mouth shut in public?
What is a DEQ guy?
I had two years in which the subject of birth control was raised in a clear piercing voice every month when I went to pick up a new dial of The Pill.
You're making your Bones as a Mother.
Hold your dominion.
I was going to say something but I just remembered my jellyfish incident.
The DEQ (Department of Environmental Quality) guy is someone who I will never forget.
This was a couple of years ago so Mo was only maybe just three and we had been discussing body parts as a regular bath time ritual.
I took my car in for inspection. Mo was in the back seat. The DEQ guy was a big fellow in every way that you can interpret the word.
"That man has a big belly" says Mo!
"Blah blah blah interesting thing about people blah blah blah" says me.
"That man has big hands" says Mo.
"Blah blah blah" says me.
"That man has a big penis" says Mo.
Stunned silence from me.
Loud laugh from the DEQ guy.
Zipper check from the DEQ guy.
Shrug and weak smile from me.
Oh Amigo, YOU have a jellyfish incident? Do tell!
(I think Amigo's jellyfish incident occurred when he responded to your/ Mo's jellyfish incident...)
Oh!
Was it you Amigo who thought we were some weird perverts and it was all some kind of wierd sex thing?
I'd have to revisit that thread to keep all that straight.
We're not! But it was an easy mistake to make. I have a habit of assuming everyone in the parenting category knows what the heck I'm talking about.
boomer, I'm not a parent, but I have very definite memories of the wiping-myself learning process when I was five. (What can I say? I have a good memory. I know how old I was because we moved to Ohio when I was nearly 5.)
My timing was unfortunate. I routinely called her into the bathroom to wipe me during supper. I remember how pissed she was every evening. I'm sure I only figured it out to stop that little ritual.
Ha mac. You really are something!
I'm thinking sometime during five must be right.
Now if I can just convince Mr. B.....
I just tried to find something online about a typical age for learning how to wipe -- most of them were things like "and help him wipe until he's ready." Well, yeah, and when is he ready? Here's a good example of a non-helpful one (except in establishing that it's a while after they are first potty trained):
Quote:You will need to help your child learn to wipe from front to back after going potty. (Children's arms aren't long enough to do a good job.)
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/toddlers/toddlers5.html
I did find this, at the end of a more typical potty training one:
Quote:What's ahead
In preparation for kindergarten, you'll want to help your child become completely self-sufficient in the bathroom. She'll need to be able to pull down her clothes, use the toilet, wipe herself, pull her clothes back up, and wash her hands. Typically, 5-year-olds are dry both day and night, with only occasional accidents.
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/preschooler/pdevelopment/65559.html
That seems to indicate roughly five years old, or shortly before kindergarten starts. (A good 10 months from now.)
Oh G lol I had this same question. It's funny to me cause the kids in my home are all little except for my daughter who just has other issues with this all together haha. But the little ones that are 1, 1, and 3 seem to not have long enough arms and tip over causing a much bigger mess than I care to clean up. Soooo I go running to wipe lil butts all day long. Well good luck on this one smile. I think Mr B sounds alot like my Mr T lol. I feed the little ones and he always is after me telling me that they will never learn if i do everything for them blah blah blah. Though interesting enough he "babies" the girls. Anyway again good luck
