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Wed 16 Nov, 2005 08:27 am
You know, a guy knows what he wants to eat, he knows what he needs for sustenance. A big hunk of red meat (maybe some fish or fowl, but not too often, don't want it to become a habit), more or less heated up, depending on one's taste, and some starch. OK, call it carbos, i don't care--potatoes, pasta, bread--hey ! i'll make a sammich, and have all three ! ! !
But then, some darn girl comes along and tries to sucker you into eatin' some other foolishness passed off as food. You know, rabbit food--i don't care how much sloppy, too sweet, too oily crap you pour on it, it don't matter if you call it a salad--it's still rabbit food. Or worse, some green or yellow mystery food, cooked to a faretheewell--never eat anything named or shrouded in mystery.
But the worst of it comes at breakfast. You should be eatin' bacon, bangers, a ham steak, a nice big hunk of chopped sirloin, 'bout a half-dozen eggs and some hash brown potatoes--but what does the girl shove in front of you ? Musilage ! ! ! Oh, i know they changed the name--Muslix--come on, i don't have "sucker" tatooed on my forehead. Fossilized, ground up chunks of musilage with flakes made from a paste of corn which was rejected for cattle feed.
I tell ya, the wimmins is tryin' to poison us, and claimin' they're only concerned with our health !
<Gus reads Setanta's text and wipes the steak juice from his chin as he wonders where Set went wrong>
It's for your own good, listen to her Setanta
Ya big bully . . . all you wimmins is bullies ! ! !
Now this calls for:
*rubs her hands* as she hehehehehes :wink:
green food = love
feel the looooove dahhhlin
Mins is designed to eat meat . . . if ya eat meat after it turns green, ya makes yerself sick . . .
You wimmins is plenty devious, but i see right through yer tricks and yer ways . . .
We are of the earth and need to eat the bounty of the earth to thrive, but a little cow carcass isn't all bad - do try and make it organic or all those hormones will give you "man boobs".
...
But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini, fettucini or bulgar wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat
Cheeseburger in paradise
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
Not too particular, not too precise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
...
Then again, one needs to eat the occasional salad to avoid gout.
But you can load it down with bacon bits, cheese, and ranch dressing.
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz Fifty-seven and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, Good God Almighty
Which way do i steer?
For a
Cheeseburger in Paradise ! ! !
As an alternative to salad, one can just add lettuce, tomato, and onion to one's cheeseburger.
Why is it that all of the "great" hamburger places have mediocre hamburgers?
Another in the great list of food I endeavor to avoid: tofurkey.
catsup is its own food group...
I could really use a big fat greasy dripping burger. One with pickles, lettuce, tomatoes and American cheese. One so huge it has to be cut in half in order to think about getting it in your mouth. One like the famous Freddie burger from Freddy's at CMU.
There is a place like that on the south side of the German Village district in Columbus, Ohio. I don't recall the name of the place, but i'll see if i can find it online. The burger is advertised as at least one pound of ground beef. Only burger i was never able to finish at one sitting--i made the mistake of eating some of the fries first. You're damned right it took the left overs home . . .
Couldn't find it right away, and i'm not gonna spend all day on it . . . White Castle did not start in Columbus, but now has its headquarters there, and sliders are best eaten when one is really, really drunk. Wendy's did start there.
The truth is that if you want to cohabit with the wimmens, then you must try to agree with them and smile a lot
accept the breakfast and eat it
it's good for you! If you're still hungry, then secretly go to the local greasy spoon and order up ten pounds of bacon with a heap of greasy hash browns and a dozen fried eggs
we wimmens never has to know.
:wink:
Good idea, but what about the fact that i would have been obliged to fill up on what amounts to army forage for draft horses ? ? ?
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