troubles with mother

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Mom has a close friend. They always visit each other, mom more often

than her. Walking is good for mother, as long as she doesn't stress or

exert herself . They send almost everything you can imagine to each

other; bread, meat, sweets, some kind of clothes, anything. I wonder how

old ladies think!

Today, I saw her carrying out two bags and a milk bottle. She looked

tired, and this mad me really angry. She did these things more than once,

and said before that she would never carry heavy things, and trouble

herself working . But, she doesn't care about doing anything. I really don't

want her to fatigue herself.

Now, how can I stop her or convince her?

Does kidnapping her friend work?

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You don't indicate how old your mother is. However, she seems to enjoy these activities and you should be finding ways to help her do so rather than limit her activities. Why can't you carry the heavy things to her friend's place on such occasions?

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Hi Intrepid, my mother is 72. She has problems with her back. I wrote

about her in another thread. She goes out all of a sudden and without

telling us, plus I'm busy with brother or father most of the time. I don't

make her do anything here that would make her tired.

So, she comes home from her friend's having these things. It's simple,

you give me, I'd give you even if there is no need for this swap

agreement.

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troublew with mother
Hi, Navigator!Your concern is legitimate, but look at it from your mother's point of view. Isn't it better for your mother to tire herself out with something she enjoys doing than for her to sit at home and fade away?

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Navigator--

Perhaps on some level your mother wants you to fuss about her the way you fuss about your father and brother?

Meanwhile, you really can't stop The Barter Babe on her daily rounds. She's going to have to make the connection between carrying her heavy loot home and having a back ache the next day.

Good luck.

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Have you thought of getting her a buggy that she can push/pull her load in?

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you beat me to the suggestion Int. ;-)

But something like this = Shopping Caddy
might work well for her.

Having a stable social circle is critical when someone is older and slowly loosing their independance.
Boost her ability to maintain her life and her trade and you will make her life. ;-)

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Remember, Navigator posts from China.

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not sure I under stand.. ?

are you refering to the caddy link?

or the idea of her walking groceries to her friend?

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Westerners have access to a much greater variety of consumer goods than the Chinese do.

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I'm sorry guys I didn't reply, I was extremely busy here,

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=62670

It seems that after this storm, mother has forgotten her relationships

temporary.

This is sad, and funny at the same time Smile

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Navigator--

At least your family is trying to take turns with you and your limited time and energy.

Hold your dominion.

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Thanks Noddy. Maybe she wants me to fuss about her as you said. Like I

don't !! Anyway, I'd try the shopping caddy, or the buggy if she didn't

refuse. For now, her errands outside are limited because of what

happening to brother.

At least I'm a life Smile

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Navigator--

Hold your dominion.

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You and me both Nav. My mother is 82, and suddenly she has started saying really inappropriate, mean things. It's not Tourettes, but sorta like that. She just drops bombs on conversations out of the blue. "You always forget things I did for you" or "you should have spanked your kids more". Argh.

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troubles with mother
Join the club.

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My mother is 96, and her memory is gone. Although she is still sensible, and can hold a decent conversation, she asks me the same questions over and over again, until I want to scream.

She is also a coward, and always thinks that she is dying. At 96, I think that is a reasonable evaluation. I have been called from the ALF innumerable times, (sometimes in the middle of the night) when she becomes frantic about one thing or another.

cjhsa- Sometimes one may perceive the beginnings of Alzheimers' Disease by a change in emotional tone, and difficulty in maintaining boundries.

Check this out, and see if any of this looks familiar:
http://www.alz-nic.org/Disease_Stages.html

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If she has Alzheimers, I'm sending her to France. She always liked France, just not the French. Let them deal with her.

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Geesh Phoenix, I just read that and now I think I'm in stage 3 myself! Sad

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My thoughts with you Phoenix.

As I said, my mother rounds outside are limited now since brother illness.

I don't want to interfer much, but I do care about her. Anyway I'll try the

suggestion above, and I'm sure one of them should do.

Also, I think the case of Alzheimer appeared with my uncle recently. I

don't go out much, but I'll see what kind of symptoms does he have

exactly.

I'm going tomorrow to the hospital for urodynamic study. Things are

getting better finally.

God how much I love peace, and hate any surprises Sad

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troubles with mother

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