PHYSICAL ASSAULT

James, having power and not using it, particularly against someone who cannot adequately defend him/herself, are the hallmarks of a strong person.

Chalk it up to this person being a jerk and learn to let go of these things. They aren't worth the possible consequences. Even jerks don't deserve to have their kidneys smashed or ribs bruised or broken. Even them.

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Having used various levels of force in my career I can say james that if I never have to do it again I will be quite happy. You may think it's great fun to go the biff with someone. Trust me, it's not.

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Racism....
Goodfielder Very Happy

: I agreee with your last post. By chance,are you speaking from having a career in your local constabulary? I thought your
past postings mentioned something about a number of years behind the baton. I have great respect for all cops/first responders everywhere.
One has to love that kind of work to do it.

I hope James listens to you.

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I've found a2k and forums like it which allow plenty of argument within their rules, and which have a variety of members with varied opinions, very useful for learning how to discuss and disagree without getting all angry. People are insulting fairly often in everyday life and hitting someone for that is no answer, illegal or not. Learning to speak calmly of your opinions is useful and learning when to be quiet is useful too. A mature person is one who has gained judgement. Of course there will be disagreements on judgement, but that is half the fun.

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Yes lindatw - I did have a signature line that was a bit of a take on the famous leper segment in "The Life of Brian" (Monty Python). Now my signature line has, on legal advice, decided to take the fifth Very Happy

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Bella Dea wrote:

james, i hope you get charged and convicted. We don't need people like you running around and I think you need a lesson in right and wrong.

I was actually a victim of an assult and battery, and you can bet your ass I pressed charges. Lucky for me, I had the physical evidence that the police generously took photos of, but even so, the end was my word against theirs. And guess who won?

The question is did you deserve to get hit or not?

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jespah wrote:

James, having power and not using it, particularly against someone who cannot adequately defend him/herself, are the hallmarks of a strong person.

Chalk it up to this person being a jerk and learn to let go of these things. They aren't worth the possible consequences. Even jerks don't deserve to have their kidneys smashed or ribs bruised or broken. Even them.

After these "jerks" you guys mention get away with what they say to me, I replay what they have said to me to hurt me over and over and over again in my mind, and I feel angry for days and weeks thinking about these flashbacks. Theres no way for me to let it go like you say so simply. Boy, I would love to just forget and let go of the pain from the past, but the fact is its impossible to let go. How can I control myself from not thinking about these things? Its not by choice that I think about these unpleasant memories, flashbacks of bad things that happen. I definitely think letting go of anger, or venting it through violence is the best solution to release my pain. Forgiveness just doesnt work, for instance, I say to myself Im over this particular incident, then try to do something else to distract myself, I find my thoughts drifting back to the thing I want to forgive and forget.

If I see the perpertrator's ribs smashed, it would definitely relieve my own pain and make me psychologically happier.

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goodfielder wrote:

Having used various levels of force in my career I can say james that if I never have to do it again I will be quite happy. You may think it's great fun to go the biff with someone. Trust me, it's not.

The only reason why you didnt enjoy beating up the people you beat up is because you didnt hate them, and they did nothing personal to you, and they didnt say anything to you to cause you psychological pain.

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Jamesw84 wrote:

The only reason why you didnt enjoy beating up the people you beat up is because you didnt hate them, and they did nothing personal to you, and they didnt say anything to you to cause you psychological pain.

Heck James I've had plenty of people say bad things to me that caused me psychological pain but I didn't biff them. When someone belted me I belted them back. Simple as that. And I belted them back hard. There's an instrumental reason for that though - and of course there was proportionate force. But just turning and belting someone because of words they used towards me - jeepers I would have been sacked years ago Very Happy

James you can't sort out those sorts of issues with fists - or indeed feet.

The law and common sense both forbid it.

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Jamesw84 wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
james, i hope you get charged and convicted. We don't need people like you running around and I think you need a lesson in right and wrong.

I was actually a victim of an assult and battery, and you can bet your ass I pressed charges. Lucky for me, I had the physical evidence that the police generously took photos of, but even so, the end was my word against theirs. And guess who won?

The question is did you deserve to get hit or not?

Are you kidding? You are just a spiteful mean person. No, better a mean and nasty child on the playground after someone has taken your ball.

No, I didn't "deserve" to get hit. In fact, I wasn't even the intended target.

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Jamesw84 wrote:

jespah wrote:
James, having power and not using it, particularly against someone who cannot adequately defend him/herself, are the hallmarks of a strong person.

Chalk it up to this person being a jerk and learn to let go of these things. They aren't worth the possible consequences. Even jerks don't deserve to have their kidneys smashed or ribs bruised or broken. Even them.

After these "jerks" you guys mention get away with what they say to me, I replay what they have said to me to hurt me over and over and over again in my mind, and I feel angry for days and weeks thinking about these flashbacks. Theres no way for me to let it go like you say so simply. Boy, I would love to just forget and let go of the pain from the past, but the fact is its impossible to let go. How can I control myself from not thinking about these things? Its not by choice that I think about these unpleasant memories, flashbacks of bad things that happen. I definitely think letting go of anger, or venting it through violence is the best solution to release my pain. Forgiveness just doesnt work, for instance, I say to myself Im over this particular incident, then try to do something else to distract myself, I find my thoughts drifting back to the thing I want to forgive and forget.

If I see the perpertrator's ribs smashed, it would definitely relieve my own pain and make me psychologically happier.

Gee, and what happens when that's not enough? Do you escalate the violence?

You need to learn to control these impulses before you start seeing the inside of a jail cell.

Go to batting cages if you want to hit something. Fantasize that it's anything you like, no one needs to know. Just don't take that out on people. And yes, BTW, it is easy to let things go if you truly try to let things go and not harp on them. Continually coming back, mentally, again and again, is not helping things. Find something else to occupy your thoughts. Turn on the TV or music or call a friend. Make a sandwich. Ride a bike. There are a trillion things one can do that do not involve thinking about violence or an insult, or acting out. Really.

As for what you said to Bella, c'mon, do you really think that's helping things? If you speak to people in that manner face to face, then yes, you're going to get as much back and worse. Adults do not just let themselves be governed by impulses. Adults reason things out and weigh consequences before just reacting. I am not talking about getting walked on -- argue back if it bothers you, but don't be so quick to put up your dukes. I am talking about letting more than just impulse control your life. Anyone can learn to do this, but the person has to actually practice it and not just offer up reasons why he, personally, cannot do it.

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jespah, naturally you cut their throat. Duh.

Rolling Eyes

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Physical assault....
Jamesw84 : If the moral and legal potential of what you are contemplating isn't enough to stop you,consider this: the person you hurt may be,unbeknownst to you, better armed,better trained,and deadlier in the force they use against you, when you attack them. Forcing someone into the position of disabling or killing you is not the answer to your problems.

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Bella Dea wrote:

jespah, naturally you cut their throat. Duh.

I was thinking of firearms, thanks for clarifying that.

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Re: PHYSICAL ASSAULT
A co-worker is insulting you? And what are you saying in response to this co-worker? Are you saying anything back to him at all? Defending yourself verbally? Why don't you ask him to refrain from being childish and advise you how he finds you incompetent and what does he suggest could rectify the situation? If you challenge him intellectually, he is less likely to spout rubbish and actually be helpful. If he is just being an ass due to jealousy or his own unfortunate personality then speak to your boss, his boss, the manager, to get advise on how to handle it. These days it is unacceptable for a "hostile work environment" to be allowed to continue and if this co-worker is being verbally abusive then he needs to be forced to stop.

Better a tongue-lashing than a physical-lashing, I say.

When I was a kid - 10 or so - I found that I would get all frustrated with my sister when she would verbally assault me. I was not fast enough or verbally astute enough to match her oral skills at that time and so I resorted to thumping her. I got no real satisfaction since there were worse consequences to my beating up my sister. Having grown older and learning the defend myself verbally, I find it far more satisfying. Of course I have to measure if a person who is rude, critical, or mean to me actually has a valid point first. I am not always right. Just because I now know I can respond to someone insulting me and rip them a new one (verbally) does not mean it is always justified. I guess I am more secure in who I am that even hearing someone criticise me does not involve the hurt feelings it used to when I was younger. These days I take such stuff with a pinch of salt. I really care only what my loved ones think and say. Others, co-workers, associates, strangers - well their opinions really don't matter to me unless they are trying to help.

I had a boss once who told me in a meeting in front of clients that I was a stupid fool. My response was "could I speak to you privately for a moment" and I excused us both as we stepped outside the conference room. I told her if she ever spoke to me like that again, in that tone, in front of clients or alone, I would respond in kind and she would be mortified by my verbal response. I told her if she could dish it out she better be prepared to take it as I was willing to shout out her flaws and criticise her rudeness and was not concerned about being fired or losing my job. If she was okay with that, then she should go right ahead and be unprofessional with me again. That was the last time she ever spoke to me that way (although she continued doing it with her other staff).

People are sometimes more afraid of the verbal gymnastics than the physical pummelling because it takes more smarts to slap a person down with your tongue than losing control and smacking 'em physically.

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Physical assault....
Shocked

Jamesw84: One more thing to think about: If you assault this person,more than likely,the police will be called. If they are told there is an assault in progress,they will come prepared to do whatever it takes to protect the victim,protect everyone else,and apprehend you. Do you
really want a work dispute to escalate to the police arriving in full
battle gear? That's what could happen here. Can you guarantee the situation wouldn't escalate out of your control Question

Think seriously before you ruin too many lives Exclamation

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jespah wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
jespah, naturally you cut their throat. Duh.

I was thinking of firearms, thanks for clarifying that.

Baaad, jespah.... :wink:

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In Australia I belive that the person you attack will have both civil and criminal charges against you - civil for battery and assault, criminal for assault at least. Don't bother arguing provocation - the common law test set by the high court for proving provocation is very very tough and narrow interpretation.

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pragmatic wrote:

In Australia I belive that the person you attack will have both civil and criminal charges against you - civil for battery and assault, criminal for assault at least. Don't bother arguing provocation - the common law test set by the high court for proving provocation is very very tough and narrow interpretation.

Quite true. And of course any defence of immediate provocation is going to be destroyed by the evidence of your posts here where you have openly fantasised about belting this person. Take the advice proferred James.

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goodfielder wrote:

pragmatic wrote:
In Australia I belive that the person you attack will have both civil and criminal charges against you - civil for battery and assault, criminal for assault at least. Don't bother arguing provocation - the common law test set by the high court for proving provocation is very very tough and narrow interpretation.

Quite true. And of course any defence of immediate provocation is going to be destroyed by the evidence of your posts here where you have openly fantasised about belting this person. Take the advice proferred James.

Evidence? What evidence? Do you know my real name, my real address, or what I look like??

Not likely bro

Laughing

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PHYSICAL ASSAULT

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