When can I cry?

aw shoot.

Amigo - SheWolf has been very honest about a felony conviction in her past. This makes it difficult for her to get hired.

SW - Go back to the cleaning idea and be your own boss, make your own hours and your own money. Don't take on any contracts, just clean for individuals or very small business'. When I did cleaning I insisted on being paid in cash ( a sort of George Bush instant tax rebate) and just keep saving up for the new house, you'll be fine.

Shewolfn,

I am so very sorry that happened. You were so excited. I do like Green Witch's idea. If you did start your own business you wouldn't have to worry about anyone not being forgiving. I admire you for being honest about your past. That tells a lot of your character. I do know that daycare centers have very strict regulations about hiring anyone with almost any kind of conviction.

I know you can do your own business! I started one. You can! If you are going to do a cleaning business you need a mop and a bucket a little cleaning supplies and the git-up-and-go!

Good luck in all you do!

You can cry now, shewolf.

I thought I'd come back to add something from an employers perspective.

When someone says "I can't hire you" they are telling you that something came up that prevents you from having the job. I think she's trying to tell you that she would have liked to have hired you but she can't.

If she had called and just said "I'm sorry, we hired someone else" that would be different.

I also want to tell you about my old employee, let's call her Kay. Kay had a past much like yours, probably worse (she lost custody of her kids due to a drug habit) but she was so smart and so quick (and no longer using) that I hired her despite my reservations. In a few years she managed my business. And she was great.

While she was working for me (she worked for me for seven years), Kay enrolled in college, graduated and has since moved on.

She was one of my best employees ever and she is now my good friend.

Don't get discouraged.

There is someone out there who will take a chance and be so, so happy that they did.

now that the embarassment and rage has subsided, I truly dont think that it WAS her call to hire me.
As i said, i was honest about my background from the start. On my initial email I sent to her asking about jobs I stated " I have a felony" in black and white , she called me
I called her back asking about positions open and time slots she needed filled and said " I HAVE A FELONY"..
she called me in for an interview.
We spent most of the interview exchanging mommy notes and tricks. She has a new baby boy.
Again.. " I HAVE A FELONY" crossed my lips.
I was on the application as well.
She knew. There is no way she didnt. If she claimes she didnt , she is lying.
As I live with this felony, I am learning there are thousands of hidden laws here and there that make no sense to me, no sense to a rational mind, and no sense to the community - that prevent felons from working.
I stated this before, but , did you know that someone with a felony can not work in a bingo hall? Not even as a janitor? Top it off- I cant BE IN ONE , even if I am playing.
Did you also know that felons , no matter the charge, can not OWN a VENDING MACHINE
Im wondering if one of those hidden laws reared its ugly head in this situation... I truly beleive she was gung-ho about hiring me. I even have a work schedule, name badge, and an information card for Bean . >sigh<
oh well.
So on to the next battle i guess.

Thank you for the words everyone.
It does make me feel better .

Sorry to here that Shewolf.

They are the ones who lost out.

Shewolfn,

Yes, they lost out! Not you! I don't know you but you sound like a very honest person that wants to just have a good life. Those are some of the dumbest laws I have ever heard of!

There is the perfect position for you out there Shewolfn, and when you find it, you will be such an asset! I think your daughter has a wonderful mother. I am sure she is learning well from you!

Take Care!

This is just a suggestion....

One of my relatives who lives in your city and has a felony conviction (drugs) works for a veteranarian. She assists in surgery and manages the office. She makes good money.

She works for a small clinic where they are flexible with her regarding her childcare duties (but she has free help).

With your medical training..... it might not be a bad fit and your past might not be so haunting.

I don't know..... I just thought I'd throw that out.

Exactly about all the rules. If they have rules like that for bingo halls, imagine what they have for daycares? Could well be that she thought it wouldn't matter, then found out somehow that it would. Like, even if it was her decision, she might have been like oh it's fine I can tell she's a nice person, and THEN found out that it could put her accredation at risk -- or something.

If you'd like, you could probably call back and ask, as Amigo said, just to satisfy your curiosity and use for next time.

Eventually, you'll find someone like boomer -- or your cleaning business will take off and you'll BE someone like boomer. :-)

That is surely true, sublime.

Hmm, wonder if any photographers need a gopher...

I'm only half kidding. Slightly lateral shift in view here... I mean in Austin.

I will back off of suggesting you to be anybody else. I am not for phony phone calls. (catholic girl at base, why I am fu'd up). Being your good self carries enough waffles and syrup.

Which phony phone calls?

The false references? (It sounds like shewolf has some good real references, as is.)

I don't think the "why" request needs to be phony at all, though -- I've had people do that, and have given them information that they've said was very useful, including one who used the info I gave and was hired later on for another position. (I.e., the people I *didn't* hire asked why, and I told them.)

I think honesty is the best! If you do anything 'phony' and it gets found out, oops! You just be you Shewolfn, no can could ask for more than that!

Not shewolf's, but others are suggesting other phone calls, and people agreeing - and I understand, but am not for them myself.

Comes The Down


After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean security
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child
and you learn to build your roads
on only today because tomorrows ground
is too uncertain
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate
your own soul , instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure-
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn
and with every goodbye
you learn again.

Oh I understand, Osso. Guess I didn't make it clear. I wouldn't in my wildest imagine think Shewolfn would do it. She seems to have very high values and I admire the daylights out of her for her honesty!

i am lucky.
my work referrances are great. 3 of my former employers are friends at this point.
They also know about my background as well.
THAT- is the one thing I have on my side. ;-)

Under current law a past employer can answer:

When did the person work for you?
What was their pay rate?
Would you rehire them?

That's it. Nothing else. Any more information than that will land them in court.

Past employers rely on inflection and tone of voice to convey a million messages.

It might be worth calling past employers with this in mind but I wouldn't recommend it.

I'm presently in the position of an older person needing help.

Some sunny day I will delineate the help I've had here.

I am not stupid re good work or good help.

Every single person I've hired has been coming out of trouble. One was jailed twice while weeding my yard. One chased me around my house (me?). The guy helping me presently has brain damage, eats, apparently only stuff with curry in it, or carrot juice, and is way into body building, bless him. I have a sense of irony, it is he who will survive -
we converse quite a lot. (In case you're wondering, he's the loudmouth.)

Every one of these people, and I'm skipping some in the telling, have been bright. And I am not better, I can foresee being homeless.

Shewolf - hang in.

But to Amigo, I don't mean to dump, am interested in your situation too.