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My mother is depressed about me moving 5 hours away?

Forums: Thoughts, Moving, Family
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KittyCat92
 
Reply Sat 13 Jul, 2024 08:53 am
I'm 31 and moving soon for my fiance's career to the next state over and she's acting like it's the end of the world. Saying she's depressed and upset. I'm an only child and my mom and I are very close. I told her I can still visit often and for any special events but she's so upset. And now hates my fiance for taking this job. I'm really trying to navigate through this but don't know how. We don't have children or plan to have them so I'm free to come home whenever pretty much. I feel bad for hurting her but I have to live my life too. Any advice?
Thanks!
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 357 • Replies: 5
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Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Jul, 2024 09:54 am
@KittyCat92,
Your mother seems to be codependent ... she should really talk with a therapist to determine what her issues are.

This is your life and I applaud you for living it despite your mother's upset with it. Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp - there are ways to see each other while conversing.

All you can do in the meantime is nod, agree, say "I know" a lot and keep doing what you're doing Smile
KittyCat92
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Jul, 2024 10:26 am
@Mame,
Thank you. This makes me feel a bit better.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Jul, 2024 12:07 pm
@KittyCat92,
Best of luck to you, Kitty. I have a friend with a very manipulative, controlling mother. She's nearly 50 and her mom has a fit when she talks about moving out. Hard to deal with such a needy, controlling person.
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CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Jul, 2024 10:43 pm
@KittyCat92,
I agree with Mame, you're 31 years old and need to live your own life.
It's probably a good thing that you're moving away and get out of this co-dependency. This way your mother is forced to look for another outlet. She can pick up hobbies, join a club, find people to walk with and start enjoying her
own life.
Good luck to both of you!
KittyCat92
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Jul, 2024 03:38 pm
@CalamityJane,
Thank you so much 😊 I'm just going to try and make the best of it.
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