@iamasystemist,
When I was a vicar my congregation was most put out by my insintance on wearing a gorilla costume during sermons.
I'm not kidding they were really unreasonable and I had to see the bishop.
Bishop Bumface we used to call him, and guess what he took their side!
I couldn't believe it. I told him I'd joined for a pious life but hadn't had a whiff of pie since I joined and this was the last straw.
I walked out and converted to Islam, but to be honest, the Imam hasn't been very helpful either.
He hasn't said gorilla outfits are haram but he won't let me wear it in the Mosque.
Please help.